What are your views on one night stands?

I’m not really sure, I don’t think theres anything wrong with them as long you are sensible and careful, you know who you’re going home with, and you use protection.

I mean if you have them regularly and you’re not using condoms and there is a risk that you could be transmitting sexual diseases and things, or that you’re being unfaithful to a partner by doing it, then I think it’s wrong, but otherwise if both of you are consenting and you’re using protection I think it’s okay.

Have you had any experience of it?

One, yeah.

Okay and did you use protection on that occasion?

Yes, we did we used condoms.

What to you think about one night stands?

What do I think about one night stands? I think fair enough kind of thing, it’s not something that I would do sober, it’s not something that I could imagine myself like actually intending to go out and pull someone in the sense of having sex with them coz I never think like that anyway. I’m just like if you’re going to pull someone I’d get off with them or whatever but not like the whole hog kind of thing but I think with lesbians it’s different because obviously…

I always have a go at my straight friends for having one night stands and not using protection kind of thing, like very recently like a friend of mine, a couple of friends of mine have gone through like pregnancy scares and what not, and they’ve been really scared about pregnancy and yet obviously that’s been drummed into them.

And I’m just like ‘how can you be like so concerned about pregnancy and you’re not worried about like diseases that can kill you’ you know what I’m saying, like a baby, whether or if you are pregnant it can be got rid of as, whether you believe in that or not there, you know, there is something that exists that can solve that problem but if you catch something like AIDs or HIV or I don’t know, I don’t really know that many kinds of thing.

But if you get that which can come from a one night stand, that you possibly wouldn’t even remember due to alcohol – is it really worth it, like it doesn’t take that much to put a condom on does it really.

Do you think that men and women have different attitudes when it comes to casual sex?

I’m not really sure, I think theres probably more women who think it’s not okay to do and that you shouldn’t do it, but not that many at my age I think, but I think men congratulate each other if they’ve done it.

it’s like wow you pulled her and they congratulate each other, theres probably more peer pressure on them to have causal sex as well as there is on girls, girls aren’t really that bothered about it.

And girls are sort of less likely to boast about it and talk about it?

I think girls would probably say ‘oh I went home with this bloke, blah, blah, blah’ but they’d probably be more talking about it as if he was really nice, I’d like to get to know him better, whereas a boy would just boast about that night, what the sex was like that night and things like that.

Oh well, you know, it’s just, this person fancies you, you fancy that person, and you know it’s just, you just feel the need kind of thing. You know theres something between you ‘burning, and it just needs to be done really, that’s all I think about it.

OK.

It could always turn into something else, but you know, you just never know.

It seems now you have experienced, or you are experiencing a more serious relationship. What do you think are the differences at the physical level between sex within a long term or serious relationship as opposed to a casual one?

As I say it’s like this…

There is more, carry on…

Well one night stands are worse, do you know what I mean, it’s just like you just, you just never know, ‘cos I mean I’ve had partners, I mean it’s always been like one night stand first and then from there you always just go on and see what happens. Probably just sometimes then they’re just like friends, like partners or whatever, and that kind of thing, yeah.

g Not had a whole heap of experience with one night stands. I think I’d prefer to be in a relationship.

B’ Yeah, I guess I haven’t had a great deal of one night stands and they’re not terribly fulfilling and theres always that worry about where has she been, and who’s shes been with and so theres, theres anxiety on that front. It’s better to be with someone I think.

g Yeah. And they’re usually also connected with alcohol and stuff, so you usually can’t really remember. That’s also a bit stressful.

Do you think that men and women have different attitudes when it comes to casual sex?

g I don’t know.

B’ I don’t know whether it’s just men and women or just society but I’ve always, it’s always seemed to me that a man who’s with a lot of women is a, hes a stud or you know hes… it’s something to be proud of. But a woman who’s considered a slut, you know if shes with a lot of men. So, theres a bit of ‘

g Double standards, isn’t it?

B’ Yeah, yeah.

g At the same time a man does keep a, it seems more of my female friends have a lot more casual sex than my male friends who tend to prefer to want to be in a relationship.

Yeah?

g Yeah. I don’t know if my friends are just different!

I think again, if you’re careful and use contraception and you use a condom then I can’t really see anything wrong with it as long as you both know it’s a one-night stand. I mean I’ve had a few one-night stands myself so it’s very easy. You’re in a club, you get talking to someone and you have a massive party back at his house and one of your friends goes with one of his friends and it just happens, it’s quite normal.

I don’t think it’s very good for you, It can be a bit emotionally tiring as well, especially if you like him and you think ‘oh I’ll go out on a date with him properly next week’ and it just never happens.

Okay, so emotionally it could have that effect?

Yes, emotionally it’s not very good for you but I think everyone has to have a one-night stand or two one-night stands to not do it again. I think you learn from your mistakes, yes.