is there any other sources of information that you’ve looked at or you’ve contacted?

I mean, I ordered the Caesarean birth book, I can’t remember exactly what the title is, from the NCT. Because it’s actually quite difficult to find’ specific books on things like that and it mentioned there is a website about Caesarean births, I can’t remember what the address is, but on’ the writers of that book have got this website. So yeah, I did that fairly early on and that obviously talks through about a Caesarean and things. But again it wasn’t specific to me so I didn’t’ it doesn’t mention my condition. It mentions if babies are in distress, which is really what [Son] was, but, you know, there could be lots of different reasons for that.

Sorry, I’m just scribbling.

It’s alright.

And was that useful information?

Yeah I think so. I mean, just to sort of remind myself, because I didn’t have that information before I had the other operation or afterwards really. So it was sort of almost good to read what did happen last time and then sort of, you know’ I think that’s more what it was, about what happened to me last time and trying to find out if it’s likely to happen again. But you can’t find that out from books.

So what that’s saying is, other than the midwife and the doctor, have you got any information from anywhere else, like magazines, or the internet, or friends?

Yeah, I’ve had my head in magazines all through pregnancy, actually. Although, I know everything, I’m sort of waiting’ I read stories about, you know, theres normal birth after caesareans and things. So that’s about the only other information I’ve had really.

And what sort of magazines, are these women’s magazines, or pregnancy magazines?

Pregnancy magazines, yeah.

And what other information sources have you used this time?

Erm, again, watching programmes on the tele [laughs]. I’m a bit addicted to like the baby channel [laughing].

Do you find them scary at all though?

I do, some of them are a bit scary, but it’s really nice when a woman’s had a previous section and she then goes on and has a natural delivery because it really makes you think, ‘Well I can do this, if she can do it I can do it,’ you know, ‘I can do that as well. I’ve discussed, I’ve I gone on the internet, I’ve been on to a website on the internet and I’ve made friends on there and I’ve discussed it with them as well.

Do you think it’s a common dilemma for women then, being in your situation?

I would say so, yeah, yeah.

And is that the kind of thing that you’ve been getting from the other women you talk to?

Yeah, yeah.

They’ve had sections and they’re making decisions?

Yeah, yeah, mm.

I’ve not seen them, so what kind of things do they say?

Erm, well they’re basically in the same situation as me where, you know, they want to have a natural delivery but they don’t really know throughout the whole of their pregnancy how it’s going to end up, so they feel like everything’s up in the air because you don’t know what sort of delivery you’re going to have. Even if you want a natural birth and it’s actually planned to have a natural birth, you don’t know really if that’s going to happen, because obviously with a previous section, you know, you really are closely monitored and you can get told at any point, ‘No, I’m sorry, but you’ve got to have a section now,’ so’

I mean it’s a horrible thing the internet, but I would always go on that if I felt that it was necessary.

Is there anywhere in particular that you look when you go on the internet?

I try and go on the ones that are aimed at doctors rather than’ which is stupid because then you don’t understand it but just to try and get the facts that the doctors are getting rather than what they want people to know. But a mix of both really.

Did you find them scary at all?

Sometimes.

But generally you feel like you’re more informed having looked at them?

Yeah.

And where have you got the most information from with this pregnancy do you think?

It’s hard to say really because I think when you get to your third pregnancy I think there’s a bit of well it’s a true assumption that you know quite a lot of things anyway, or you should know by then. So I don’t think there’s the same level of discussion, obviously I didn’t go to any antenatal classes apart from the first time. What I’ve always done is you go on these baby world sites and ones where they’ve got you know people putting messages of their own experiences. So I’ve sort of gone onto those a bit.

Has that been useful?

It’s quite comforting.

I personally think, I mean, this is talking about other women that have done it, actually normal birth stories are definitely’ I think you, you believe that more so than you believe medics and midwives. You believe women that have done it. I really do think. So summaries of birthing experiences may be you know, people like me that have delivered would be a really supportive thing. Information, the fact that it’s a natural thing, maybe not so medicalised, so look, if you’ mind over matter, even hypnotherapy, and God forbid, I never thought I’d ever think about that, but you know, that kind of thing.

How did you get into going down that road?

I go to yoga classes, and there was a lady there, a lady who recommended it and said that she had a beautiful birthing experience. And I was just hanging on straws and really, you know, despite being really strong to everyone, I actually, beneath, behind everything I was kind of slightly concerned that it wasn’t going to happen. So I was grasping at straws and doing anything, so, it was a recommendation from another woman, and it worked. And because the end few weeks of my pregnancy, I was under quite a lot of stress over the fact that people were saying to me, ‘Come into hospital’, and, you know, ‘You are at risk of’ oh gosh, exploding, that’s a good way of describing it, but yeah, rupturing, it’s almost like that, ‘You’re going to die, your child’s going to die, come into hospital’, so I needed something psychologically to get me through that and I listened to these tapes and it just said, ‘You’re going to do it, you can do it’, and that’s what I needed. And I think in business, they work, they work a positive thought is definitely the way forward.

So’ yeah, positive thought.