If you could give a message to other women who are facing the decision about what to do in their second delivery, what would you say to other women?

Just not to make the decision straight away, to do all the research, talk to people or look at something like this on your website, really have a look around and find out what other peoples experiences is, and what’s happened to them. And then make your decision. You know, you’ve got a nine month’s pregnancy, so you don’t have to decide straight away. I do think you’ve got a nice bit of leeway, but you should do it as the end is nearing, so that you’re prepared.

And what, what message would you send to health professionals who counsel women and advise them about this decision?

One to obviously really go into detail about the pros and the cons, let them take that information home with them so they’ve got it there all the time, so if things, we forget things, they can sit there and read up about it in more detail. And it obviously would be really nice for them to advise you what the, the best option is, but obviously this study might maybe help them do that, they might be able to work out what the best option is.

Yeah, well, in the morning, I woke up at six oclock in the morning with very mild tightenings, which I never had before, but I weren’t sure if they were Braxton Hicks so I was timing them ’til ten oclock in the morning and I thought, ‘Oh, something might be happening now. So I went to see my mum because I thought, ‘I need to be around a woman who’s been through it all’, and she took me from a long walk to try and help it along if it, if it was the day. And it was. I went into hospital about three oclock, they done a check and I was only one centimetre dilated, which – I was coping with the pain, I thought I was going to go through the whole thing without any pain relief [laughing] because it was really mild. So they said, ‘Go home and when you get, when they become a bit stronger, or you feel like you need pain relief, then come back in.

And then by quarter to nine, my waters went at home, which I thought was really strange, because I never had any of that the first time round, and then by half past nine, I was running to the hospital in my mum’s car, couldn’t wait to get there, needed to get there. And I was on the gas and air the minute I got in the room and they were so relaxed in there. Like, I kept going on about I’m having a vaginal birth after caesarean, you know, bring the team in to be prepared, as I was expecting. And this chilled-out midwife – and she pottered around the little room as if I was just any other woman having a normal delivery, so that relaxed me a little bit. And then I was only in labour a total of four and a half hours, and an hour and a half of that was pushing, because he was coming out sideways, so he wouldn’t come down properly.

So they went and got the ventouse thingy, which frightened me then because there was a few more members of the hospital in the room so I though, ‘Ooh, something’s going wrong ‘, and also I felt not really with it, because of the gas and air, and I had a bit of Pethidine as well. And they were trying their hardest to help me push and encourage me, but I must admit I was at the stage where I felt a bit spaced out on the gas and air, I was panicking because obviously I was in pain and… there was bits leaking and all that sort of thing and I really thought I was bleeding. I was terrified that I was bleeding and I had my eyes closed all the way through it. So I kept saying, ‘Oh, just take me down for a caesarean’, and I was begging them for a caesarean! [slight laugh]. But I was fully dilated and it was on its way, it just needed a bit of help with that suction cup, so that was what happened. Out he come and there was no problems at all. I had a bit of a bleed after, which that then frightened me a bit, but I was’ my mum was so busy distracting me from what the doctors were doing that I wasn’t really aware, I was just admiring the new baby, so’ It went really well, I think I had a perfect labour compared to some of my friends who’s had, you know, twenty, forty hours of it, so’ I think I’ve done really well in the end. I’d do it again, a lot more relaxed, I know that much.

So, that was more relaxed?

Yeah. Yeah, and I felt a lot better after, as well.

And how was your baby after the baby was born, because obviously, the baby had the ventouse?

Oh yeah, I did cry about that. When he was first born and they showed me him, obviously he had this big mark on his head, I really thought he was going to stay like it. I know they don’t, because I’ve heard about it before, but at the time, you know, I was really upset, and I thought, because he looked a bit deformed, to be honest [slight laugh]. So I thought perhaps he had some sort of disability that I wasn’t aware of [right] that w

Could you just tell me a little bit more about how they’re different, between having a natural delivery and a section?

Mainly’ mainly the aftercare, but again, I had an emergency caesarean, I think they must be a big difference with having an emergency caesarean and a planned caesarean. Because obviously when it’s an emergency, you’re not prepared, you’re not sure what’s going on, especially if it’s your first one. And you really do feel like you’re sat on Casualty and you’ve got, you know, that anything could happen to you, you really feel like that, so’ I don’t know. Having a normal delivery, you do feel scared, because you’re waiting, especially once you know the pros and cons, you’re waiting for something to happen, and in your own mind, you’re sure that something bad is going to happen. But I think that a lot of that is the gas and air, all the emotions, the pain that you’re in. I think if you were thinking on it, on a clear head like I am now, then I’d definitely say it was a better option to have a natural delivery.

I remember when we met before, you said you felt like you’d been cheated?

yeah

Because you hadn’t had the labour, do you feel, ‘Right, I’ve done that’, now?

Yeah, because I’ve been sat there with my friends now and we all have our little opinion on it and I have more of an opinion because I’ve got experience of both now. But I think you bond with the baby a lot better having a vaginal delivery.

Right. And could you explain why you think that is?

I think it’s just that after, how you yourself feel after, because I mean, I love my first son to bits, you know, and I loved him the minute he was born, but because, when you have a caesarean, you’re in so much pain, you feel like all your insides are going to fall out, it’s really horrible. And you’re like that for several – they say six weeks, but I think it’s about ten weeks before you start feeling a bit more relaxed about the you know, about your tummy area, but whereas on a natural delivery, like a vaginal delivery, I don’t know, I just’ although I had a few stitches, I wasn’t bouncing around the hospital, but you know, it was a lot easier to get up and out of bed and attend to the baby myself, rather than waiting on other people to help. So I think you just automatically get into the swing of things and a routine better from having a natural delivery.

I don’t know, because the choice was so left to me, I did feel like I had a choice to make, and it was all down to me. But obviously I wasn’t quite sure which one was the best choice. So I definitely think now, obviously if it was the third time round, that what the choice I make would be the best choice.

And how much of a choice do you think women generally have when they’re, when they’re thinking about how to deliver? I mean, if you think about your friends that you’ve got around you, how realistic do you think it is for us to encourage women to, to think about having a choice and to make their own plans?

Yeah, I think everyone gets the the choice and I pretty much, as far as I know, that everyone, the health professionals are prepared to go by your decision. Obviously, if it’s down to fears, then I think the only thing they can do is just reassure you, but overall it is down to the woman individually on how they feel and what they want to do.

What do you think is the one overriding factor that made you want to have a natural delivery?

Mainly because I found that all the aftercare of a caesarean, which was very hard. I needed a lot of family support and I sort of felt like they were helping me because I didn’t know what to do, although it wasn’t really, they were helping me because I wasn’t very well, you know, I wasn’t a hundred percent so that was the main thing really.