I think it was because I am a nurse and so I… I know kind of how to play the system to a certain degree, so I had a relatively good choice. I had full choice, I had full option to do what I wanted to do.

I think if I hadn’t been so strong and adamant then I don’t think it would have been’ I think I would have been easily taken over, so me personally, I was strong enough to fight the sort of system and say, ‘No, I’m not going to go through that’, but with other people, I’m not sure. I think they may have been overrun.

That was my next question really, how realistic do you think it is for us to encourage women to have more of a choice?

I think they should be encouraged to have more of a choice. They did tell me I could have a VBAC and it was a, ‘Yes, we definitely hope you can but you know, theres these sort of negative kind of things. I think it’s the negative input that you constantly get in the medical sort of interventions that really turn the idea, or reduce the likelihood that you’re going to delivery naturally, unless you’re pig-headed like me and say, ‘I’m going to do it and there you go.

I went into labour early hours of the morning. I phoned the midwifery team. I knew my favourite midwife was on duty so it was sort of almost planned that day was the day I was going to do it. I started getting contractions and they started getting a bit more regular, sort of ten, fifteen, ten to five minutes. Because I was, I’d had a section previously, the midwives wanted me to contact them early so I rang them and I had them here at about five, six oclock in the morning. Additionally I had also employed a doula. And’ she arrived as well and the contractions continued and my daughter then was woken up at seven and following that, my labour stopped really, because my daughter was there and I went into a different sort of mode and it was coming on and off every twenty minutes, half an hour and then it came to lunchtime and my, my labour had stopped, effectively, it was every sort of half hourly. And so everyone left and I was at home with my husband just chilling out and reading the newspaper and it was very nice.

Looking back, if I had gone into hospital, I would have been there for quite a long time. I continued having contractions, but just chilling out, being at home and, and sort of every half hour kind of thing, and about five oclock that evening, the contractions started getting more regularly. Everyone came back, I got my midwife, my special midwife arrived at five oclock. She had finished her day’s work, she was ready to support me through it and sometimes people say that that’s – that’s why people deliver because they feel comfortable, they’re in their comfortable zone, so the person that supported me was there, everyone was ready to deliver me and my contractions became quite strong and regular and they were every five minutes or so.

And I can’t really remember all the details now as it’s thirteen weeks but I was in full on labour and she examined me and I’d dilated to five, six centimetres. Over the next sort of three to four hours, they were getting regular strong contractions. I was doing a lot of yoga positions, using a TENS machine as well and I had the midwife and the doula supporting me pushing and my back, for back pain and back pressure. And’ I just had a lot of support and things done for me and like one-one attention makes a difference, again. I don’t think I would have got that in hospital.

Not at any time did I feel anxious or worried or concerned about my baby, or the lack of monitoring as everyones been pushing for the section. I had full faith in the people that were around me. And I think I probably would have had some form of sixth sense to know that something was wrong, possibly. ‘I continued on in full labour for three to four hours and as a result of the decisions that we had made to go into hospital because there was a risk of shoulder dystocia, we went in when I felt as if the time was right, and it was about nine oclock. Ten to nine, where I was, the TENS machine wasn’t really working and I was beginning to use Entonox and I thought, ‘This is the time to go in.

It was quite a funny feeling, getting in with the Entonox attached and in pyjamas and two women running after me and my husband and in the back of the car looking like, God, I don’t know what, a screaming banshee And it looked quite funny, but I did it, and I got in there and I still walked through the doors and felt really comfortable and supported. I walked into the birthing suite and there wasn’t any sign of any medical interventions, any machinery, it was just the exact same people that were with me at home and I felt really comfortable about it.

I continued to labour quite strongly, and it was a very, very painful labour. And’ just did everything I needed to d

Well, it was very interesting because one of the very strong reasons why I wanted to deliver naturally was so that I would not have difficulties breastfeeding my daughter because my first-born had difficulties. And despite everything I did- I ended up not being able to feed my second daughter, so that wasn’t the reason, so I’ve discovered that wasn’t the reason. ‘and despite thinking, you know, having a section was the worst thing, having the recovery, it actually took me quite a long time to recover from a natural delivery as well, so it wasn’t’ the grass is always greener elsewhere, it wasn’t as’ perfect – no, it was perfect, and I think emotionally it definitely, it was a great thing to do, definitely would want to deliver naturally next time. But it wasn’t as easily recoverable as I thought it was going to be in comparison with section. ‘How do I feel? I think, yes, definitely the better way to deliver because, psychologically I think it’s, it’s just better for you. ‘I think for the child as well; I think it’s a natural way, theres a difference in my’ I’m not sure if this is particularly different but she seems to a lot more physical than my other daughter. That could be coincidental, so whether that adrenalin she had when she was first delivered made a difference, I don’t know, but I’m sure theres something better for them being delivered naturally than having been pulled out unnaturally by a section.

I almost wonder why I went into the birth suite because I was just doing what I was doing at home. I had no medical intervention or need, so it was just a lovely, lovely experience.

So why do you think you did go to the birthing suite?

I went to the birthing suite because I was given two risks. I was given the risk of being a VBAC or having, you know, having the section, and also the risk of possibly the baby’s shoulder getting stuck. And so I went because of’ it was strongly recommended, medically’ not to deliver at home. Which was an option I’d thought about, to get away from any medical intervention.

And what made you think about not staying at home?

My husband [laughs]. I think it’s very difficult for men because they’re not in control and they don’t have those sort of feelings, so it’s And it’s a risk for them, you know, it’s their wife and their baby that they’re risking. Whereas we only think about our babies really, we don’t think about ourselves, so, well, not so blatant as that, but you know, I don’t know, it’s just’ My husband was very, very concerned about the risk.

Unfortunately because I’m a nurse I had this preconception that it was only a section so therefore it wasn’t major surgery and I’d recover quickly, and I didn’t’ Because I overdid it probably, ran around too quickly’The first few weeks are just so restricted in comparison to other people that have given birth naturally. One of my friends had given birth naturally and she was running around, driving. Whereas for myself having no family around, I was very restricted not being able to’ drive, and also not being able to walk places and get anywhere. And the difficulty of getting out of bed just to pick up my child was really horrible. Just everything was really, really hard after having a section’ looking back.

How do you feel now about having had a section?

How do I feel now? ‘well additional to just having a section, my daughter after a week of being born ended up going back into hospital having lost twenty percent of her body weight. So awful, terrible. I believe it’s the cause of her inability to feed and’ yeah, blame that on having a section.

Did you try and breastfeed?

I did, I tried to breastfeed.

And how did you get on with that?

I didn’t, I don’t think the milk came in. Despite having asked for loads of support and stuff, it just didn’t come in, and it was just various different things. It was myself, I’d pushed myself too much, so therefore the milk hadn’t come in, but no one explained to me that if you have a section it could possibly be quite difficult. They didn’t actually explain that if it was a big baby it was going to be quite demanding as well.

I want to have a natural delivery, I don’t want any interventions, I do not want any drugs, and I hope to deliver outside the hospital environment as much as I possibly can. This morning I’ve just had an appointment with the consultant in another hospital who said that I can go to a birth suite rather than coming into’ a ward to deliver.

Okay, that’s important for us to know. So it’s not just about avoiding interventions, it’s also about the whole medical environment’

Absolutely.

‘the ambience and everything?

It’s about the interventions and the being taken over, because. as you’re labeled as a VBAC theres interventions and monitoring and stuff. And I know that doesn’t help, and I believe that’s where I fell down in labour last time. I suppose one thing I didn’t mention, which I found very strong from my last labour, was that just as I was getting the epidural in, my husband was very, very supportive throughout the contractions, but just as I was getting the epidural in, the midwife just looked at me and visualised’ looked at me and sort of breathed me just helped me breathe through the contraction. And it was then after reflection I realised that actually I could have got through it because she got me through one of the worst contractions ever.

Right

And as a result of that I’ve actually employed a Doula to help me during labour as well.

Who do you think is the most appropriate healthcare provider to give the information that women need?

Midwives.

That was emphatic?

mm

Why not the hospital consultant or ‘?

Because they’re so litigiously minded. They’re so’ and also it’s a medical model. Birthing is a medical’ Sorry, I’m just ‘ I wish I could remember the book. I did read one book and I’m not a person into these sort of home birthing sort of very, dare I say it, hippy sort of naturalistic approach to birthing’ But this book just said, ‘Look, everyone does this’, you know? Medics do it because they’ve changed it, you know, women used to lie on their back and deliver and that kind of thing. That’s not the way you do it. It was very much of a sort of a positive sort of approach to it. A woman’s approach to it, rather than’ And even if the consultant is female, it still doesn’t matter, the medical model is that, you know, were just getting away from the idea of delivering women in stirrups. They’re very much into interventions, which are almost conducive to having a section because they reduce your mobility, they have to monitor, they have to intervene, whereas actually the best thing is just to let it go, let it go naturally. It’s just a, it’s a medical need, really, to take over a situation and to help the women, I think. I think it’s also the medical code, you know, they really do need to’ they want to make you comfortable, they want to give you drugs to make you more comfortable. They want to make things better, but actually, standing back and not doing anything, observing and letting the woman do it is almost the best. So it sounds very, very negative unfortunately, but it’s just the way.

But the midwives were very much more pro the idea of me delivering naturally, supporting what I wanted and even when a double risk had come through, they were relatively happy to support me at home, despite the huge risk.

Can you remember the kind of information that you wanted when you were pregnant the first time?

‘Not really. Everything really, I suppose [laughs]. A lot of things, I read an awful lot’

And what information did you get, did you get everything’ or some of it?

Some of it, I didn’t read it in as much detail as I have done.

So in what ways could it have been better, the information provision in your first pregnancy?

I’d say now in my second pregnancy as well, possibly not as medicalised, possibly the fact that when I was told that I was having a large baby, ways of dealing with it. Maybe perineal massage, you know, to avoid episiotomies. The likelihood of the pain being uncomfortable if the position of the child was wrong, um’ other ways of managing it. And psychological support rather than it being completely labeled as someone who’s having a large baby’ and therefore a potential difficulty.