I did yoga and my yoga teacher was a Reiki therapist too, so I had some Reiki treatment which I found really very relaxing and very pleasant. I’m always very open minded about alternative therapy. I’ve also had reflexology, which I love. And actually a friend of mine was doing a massage course and wanted to know if I would be a guinea pig for her. And I said yes I was happy to do that. So I told her what my history was and she went off to her tutor who said, ‘Oh, cancer, sort of, you know, haematological cancer, so you can’t do, I don’t think you can use this person. If you do you’d have to get her consultant to consent. I’d like you to do that. So I went to my consultant, said, ‘What do you think?’ And he said, ‘You’re in remission,’ he said ‘I’ve got no strong views about it, I don’t claim to know anything about it, if you want do it you do it. From a medical point of view I don’t have a problem. So in fact this lady’s tutor was delighted because she felt that it was great that a consultant had actually said yes, he didn’t have a problem. So yes, so I’ve had massage.

I still do yoga, I do my yoga because it helps to keep me supple, a bit, more than I usually am. It gives me space, it gives me an hour and a half once a week to switch off because even though I’m retired I’m still leading a chaotic lifestyle. It’s a time for sort of meditating and actually sort of really thinking about oneself. So I still do, I still use that. So yes I guess I do.

Did you do yoga before you had your lymphoma?

I did.

So it’s something that you continued?

Yes, yes.

I felt that there was a wealth of complementary stuff that was about, that was one of the things I found very strange, was that I expected when I was on a cancer ward or a haematology ward with lots of people with lymphomas and leukaemias, that there would be a lot more openness to complementary therapies. And actually there was a completely closed mind up there, they weren’t interested in them at all. And I found that quite strange because I think I would have liked to have more.

The Cancer Support Centre at the hospital offered things like massage and relaxation and things, which was good, but the actual health professionals themselves were quite anti, and I found them quite closed minded about complementary therapies. What I felt was that there were loads and loads of complementary therapies, you know, you go on the internet, complementary therapies to go with types of cancer, and there are millions of them, so where do you start? So you go back to your consultant and say, ‘Look I’ve seen all these things, which one do you think I should try?’ And they just say,’ Oh well we haven’t tested any of those, we couldn’t possibly recommend anything and we don’t think any of them are going to work anyway. That was an area where they were quite closed minded I’d say. I would have liked a bit more of that.

Having said that, I can understand that they’re spending so long researching into all the conventional aspects of it that they just don’t have the time and energy to keep up with it all, and they couldn’t possibly recommend anything to you. But I think they should work more closely hand-in-hand.

And anyway I had an x-ray and they had me down for a biopsy. And I think it’s quite important actually because I think it made a difference to me, is that I had a friend who was a herbalist, and I was panicking, the fact that it could be cancer, I was panicking. So I immediately contacted my friend and started thinking about things I could do positively to improve my body, improve my immune system. And so I did go on a month’s regime where I watched my diet, I stopped working, I did various sort of natural therapies and had a very positive, started having a much more mental positive attitude.

And so by the time I went to have the biopsy I felt better because prior to that I actually had been feeling quite tired, really tired in fact, you know, especially at night time, I didn’t have the energy I should have had. And probably that was about the only real obvious signs that were different. But by the time I had the, before I had the biopsy I was already feeling much better. I was still concerned because it [the lump] was like an egg by then on my neck and I had a job hiding it.

So what happened was they, after the biopsy, my husband, apparently the doctor spoke to my husband before they really, they thought I had a secondary carcinoma because I think although they took it out intact they didn’t think it was lymphoma, they thought it was secondary because the cells, I don’t know the details and one of these days I might be, up until now I haven’t really, I’ve always wanted to forget about it, but now I’m quite confident and I would probably like to have some research done. I like to think that the cells had started changing, that in fact my body was starting to take care of it. Because a week before the biopsy I did feel that things were changing and that it was like going to the dentist with a toothache, the toothache seemed to have dulled. And I remember saying that to my husband, ‘I’m going in and I feel it’s changing, I feel it’s going away. So I personally believe there was a change happening.

So you said something about doing some therapies of your own while you were waiting for your definitive diagnosis, what were they?

Well diet for a start actually, I mean I eliminated, with his advice I eliminated things like coffee, tea and processed food, and I stuck to very natural foods and high vitamin C and just mainly cutting out processed. And actually I did go to see a doctor in London, a retired doctor, that was another thing we did, who actually didn’t charge much, he just wanted to help people. In fact he did, he charged four guineas which was, even in those days we didn’t have guineas, it was just a joke thing. But he suggested that we try, you know, he said I should try being a vegetarian, that he would only, in fact he would only treat you if you wanted to eliminate sort of meat, because he had theories about that. But again that suited me fine actually because it was almost part of the natural stuff anyway.

And also meditation. I used relaxing techniques and just calming myself and trying to sort of get rid of all stress. So it was a detoxing of the body really and I suppose you could say detox of the mind, but it’s just relaxing the mind and just generally allowing my body to not put any obstacles in the way of the body’s natural healing processes, that’s how I saw it. I thought, ‘Right OK, give the body every chance to do what it has to do without putting any stress on it. So that’s, that was really the practical way I can analyse the situation and went with it.

But there was a time when I wasn’t in hospital where I think the NHS has told people to do this, where you just lay there and I would put my hand across to my wrist, shut my eyes and imagine that I was travelling through my own body, my blood, the blood cells and arteries. And although I didn’t know what was wrong with me at that time I was referring to red blood cells and the green cells were bad. Now within my mind I was destroying those cells and I done this twice, three times and within six months they couldn’t find a trace of it although I had to go the full length of chemo.

Another thing that came about is I didn’t do that much but one of the parents at the school my children go to is a hypnotherapist, and I went along to see her and had a session of hypnotherapy and I was given a tape to take away and you can play back to sort of, and it works better with some people than with others. Some people apparently report when they play the tape they completely lose that time, they don’t remember it. I never got to that stage but I did find it helped me to relax and I could listen to the tape which would help me to relax, I could then sleep better if I was having trouble sleeping or anything like that. And that was a help. But beyond that I didn’t actually do very much more than go through the normal treatment.

So is the intention of the hypnotherapy that it can help you overcome the illness?

I believe it can actually overcome the illness. My consultant at the hospital I was going to had been looking into it and there was one chap she said had actually had hypnotherapy and I think it was some of the medications to combat the side effects, I couldn’t tell you what kind of cancer he had or anything, and he hadn’t needed any of it because the hypnotherapy had worked so well that he didn’t need a lot of, he needed chemotherapy drugs and he was taking those, but some of the drugs to combat side effects he wasn’t using because the hypnotherapy had worked so well with him. Other people had improved and she was firmly of the belief that it does help with the positive outlook and your mind overcoming the body and helping in that respect. It’s something I’ve always been a little bit cynical about but, as I say, even just in helping me relax it was worth it just for that, so if that’s all you get out of it, well and good, but it may help you a lot more than that, so it’s certainly something I think people should consider. And no I’m not paid by any hypnotherapist.

Oh yes, you mentioned complementary therapies earlier, you said you used reflexology?

Reflexology, yes.

Was that just for the relaxation effect or did you believe that it might help cure your illness?

It was, no, it was, when I was having treatment, when I was in the middle of treatment once in my local hospital they had someone come round offering, they had a reflexologist that came round and offered, did anyone want their feet doing while he was there? So I said yes. And so he done that and I found that while I was sitting there and I had the treatment going through me, it makes you feel quite tired anyway, but I just found that I just felt that it was quite relaxing while I was sitting there having treatment. So I said to him, ‘Would I be able to have this on a permanent basis?’ And he said, ‘Well because you’re having treatment,’ which is quite, and I didn’t know this but most authorities do it, theres therapists give up their time and they tend to voluntarily do reflexology or massaging in their own time. And this person, that’s what he did on a Tuesday, he helped out at the unit where they give the chemotherapy.

So I had a couple of sessions with him and I didn’t, he said to me, ‘It’s not going to help you, this is not going to help your illness, it’s not going to do anything at all, it’s just going to relax you’, because when you’re on certain chemotherapies and that you can’t sleep at night, you know you, with the mixture of drugs that you’re on, I was on so many drugs that I found that I couldn’t sleep at night, I was getting up early hours of the morning, coming downstairs, watching a bit of telly, going back up to bed again. So it got to the stage where I needed to do, find some form of relaxation. And so I went to a couple of sessions of this and I found it quite good. But I also think that if people can get tapes and CDs they’re quite helpful as well, and that’s another thing that I did. At night when I went to bed, I used to listen to relaxation tapes and CDs, which are really helpful.

So then I stopped going because I was going through quite a good period so I felt that I didn’t need that then. But I’ve recently just started having reflexology again, and even though I feel quite well it’s really beneficial, it really relaxes you and you can have a really good night’s sleep. So I feel it’s, anyone going to a reflexologist or an aromatherapist, and they’re pretty good, they know, you’ve got to tell them that you’re having treatment and what sort of cancer you’ve got, and they’re quite good, they know what areas to stay away from. And with me the reflexologist I’ve got now she knows what areas to, not to work on, you know, in the lymphatic system. So but other than that it’s really good.

Have you used any other types of complementary therapies at all?

No I haven’t, no I’ve only had reflexology. They’re quite, I had a couple of sessions of aromatherapy massage where they do the shoulders and your back and that was quite good. But I tend to mainly stick with reflexology because, you know, they can do all your, all the parts of your body, they can work on all different parts of your body just through the feet, so I tend to stick with that one.

In the watchful waiting period someone suggested trying Chinese herbs, and I suppose at that point, in the early stages of living with this illness you kind of grab at anything that you can. So I visited a Chinese herbalist in the town near where we live and explained to them what my diagnosis was. And they were remarkably clear about it and they made lots of pulse checks and physical checks of my glands here and there and then prescribed what looked like a bag of compost basically, and said, ‘You have to take’, in fact several bags of compost, you come out with a big plastic bag full of these, which you have to make up into a kind of tea. So you boil up these dried leaves and twigs and strange nuts and bits and pieces, you boil them up then pour them through a sieve, allow it too cool and then drink it. It tastes foul, absolutely foul, and they did actually kind of warn me this, ‘This will not taste very pleasant, it will be very bitter. So we actually took the precaution of having a jar of honey standing by so I could actually put a mouthful of honey, a spoonful of honey into my mouth and do.

I did that for, I kept that up for a couple of years probably till the chemotherapy was necessary, towards the end of the watchful waiting period. I don’t really know whether it did any good or not, it felt like I was doing something good. My immune system, because obviously lymphoma is a disease of the immune system, my immune system was always described by the specialists as being pretty good, my marrow counts, whatever they are, have always been quite good. So perhaps, and the Chinese herbalist said, ‘This will boost your immune system. One of the odd things was prior to being diagnosed I’d had a few coughs and colds and the usual winter flu’s, I’ve not had a cough, cold, flu, anything like that since becoming unwell and since starting to take the Chinese herbs. I don’t take them any more but, you know, it seemed to do something. Maybe it was psychological, I don’t know, but I got used to the taste so I could drink it without honey.

What made you decide to try that stuff?

In a word, desperation, I suppose, one will try almost anything at that point. I did a lot of research and reading, and I’d read about the so-called Mexican clinics that people hear about, where they promise wonder treatments using natural remedies. I’d read about some treatment based on apricot seeds, which again claim wonderful results. But at least the Chinese herbal thing was kind of accessible, there was someone in the high street selling them so, ‘OK, I’ll talk to them’, and I gave it a go and it didn’t do me any harm.

Interestingly my haematologist, I told him that I was doing this, he wasn’t dismissive, which I kind of thought he might be, and in fact he was quite interested in it and explained that in his mind a lot of very good treatments are still in the world out there that we just haven’t discovered yet. And I think to try and explain to me that perhaps it was not bizarre to be drinking dried up leaves and things, but one of the most powerful drugs for breast cancer is made from the leaves of the Yew tree. So science is one way, Chinese medicine the other but, you know, it’s a similar process.

So do you think you felt desperate to try and do something because you were not being given any conventional medical treatment?

No it wasn’t that, I think I just wanted to do something. I think had I been having conventional treatment from the outset I may have tried it. I think partly it was because if I’d have had the conventional treatment, let’s call it that, if I’d have had conventional treatment I may have been reluctant to go with the Chinese because of the risk of possible conflict. And I suppose that’s what made me stop taking it when I went onto chemotherapy. But I think it was just the thought, Well let’s try anything, you know, one hears of these things, one hears of miracle cures, one hears of people getting better without anything, so yeah, it was just a way of trying something out.

Have you thought about or used any complementary remedies at all for your illness?

Nothing in terms of direct treatment of lymphoma as such or, at the moment hopefully. But in terms of the infections since the treatment, I have actually consulted a GP homeopathist and I’ve tried various treatments aimed at different things at different points. We have tried a, it was a sulphur drug base for the chest. I’m not a hundred per cent sure how good these things were. I continue with something called lycopodium, which is a sort of a general feel-good type of thing to try. And it’s just taken once a month. It’s six tablets virtually at once. So, yes, I have done that. But I haven’t been able to say, ‘I was there. I took that and I became, you know, I moved to there.

Have you thought about or tried any complementary remedies at all?

A friend did send me information from the Bristol Cancer Information Centre, which I did read but I don’t feel that I have felt in need of relaxation tapes or the need to have special foods, I haven’t a problem with my appetite. Apart from really one low point I haven’t felt the need for encouragement to get me through, you know, I have felt quite positive about it and quite happy. But I can see that the Cancer Information Centre at Bristol would help people who have more aggressive cancers, who are suffering pain and other side effects. But fortunately I haven’t felt the need for that. So no I haven’t tried any complementary medicines.