They say he have asthma so and he was allergic with egg. So it was difficult for him to get vaccination because he have an egg. So I have to give him paracetamol when he’s sick and he was very bad chest cough, was dry. Until when he was vomiting so always he was vomiting. He can’t go to nursery school. I have to keep him home. So it was a very difficult when he was

When he was little?

Four years.

The flu vaccine?

Yeah, flu yeah. They can’t give to him. So every winter it was difficult for him to go outside or go to school. He have to stay home. When he go to school he start to vomiting and fever so they have to, [whistle] I have to go to collect him to send him back home. So it was. I don’t understand because they say we can’t have flu jab without egg. But now this year I hear from people they have flu jab without egg but now he’s not with me. He, he’s with, under care.

Ok.

Yeah so

You said that when he has the flu or the flu-like illness it takes him longer to recover?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah because he can’t go back to school. In school they say he have to stay 5 days or one week he have to stay home until he is recovered. Because when he go back he started to vomiting again so that’s why they say, You have to keep him home. Yeah.

I mean obviously you don’t want to give your child antibiotics all of the time and you know we understand the affect it has on the wider community as well. And you know people are getting used to antibiotics but in Oscar’s case it’s just there’s no alternative because everything is just a bit worse for him. So in some children if they had an ear infection you can just go. Ok they can bear it for a couple of days and it will work itself out. With Oscar it won’t and he’ll be in a huge amount of pain because it’s just always a bit worse for him. And so, you know, we have to use antibiotics. And also you don’t want things to escalate. What is, you know, at the start a small chest infection if you leave it becomes pneumonia. You know, and you have to. So for us we have to use antibiotics when it’s needed. With my other child for example if he got ill I would try harder to not give him antibiotics quite so quickly. And luckily he’s, he’s a very well person and very rarely needs these things. And also for myself I would try and hold off antibiotics a bit more but with Oscar it’s just, it has to be that way and, and we want him to be safe and antibiotics have helped him be safe.

Have you discussed with any health professionals antibiotic resistance or is it something you are worried about or?

It, yeah we have with the GPs but they always say in Oscar’s case just what I was saying. He just, he needs to have it when he needs to have it and

And that’s it.

That’s it [ha ha] basically.

But when it comes, we try to keep her in school as much as possible because we know it’s important for your child to get a very good education. You know and, and the best thing for Ella is, she actually loves to go to school. That’s all she wants to do. Even when she’s ill, she still wants to go. Which I, I find amazing. But, you know, there’s some times where you have to draw the line and you have to keep her off. But where we can, we will let her go to school. But when she’s, when she’s ill, like when she’s had the chest infection and things, she’s just not been well enough to really get out of bed, so she doesn’t go.

And does the school let you know if there is a sort of a bug, an infection going around? And if there is a flu?

Sometimes. But we tend to know, because you hear parents in the school, saying “Ooh, my little one weren’t well the other day, being sick all night.” Or, “He’s got a really bad cough.” Or something like that. Then we know we need to be more, even more so looking out for Ella. And pay much more –

Okay. But you don’t keep her at home?

Sorry?

You don’t keep her at home?

No. No.

Okay.

It seems a bit harsh. But as I said earlier, she loves to go to school. And to keep her away from school just because somebody in her class might have a bit of a cold, seems a bit harsh on her. So it’d be like we’re punishing her, in a way. So we do try and send her when we can, and when we know she’s not ill. But when she’s at the point where she’s not well, then that’s when we don’t send her at all. We know when not to send her.

Ill? I dunno. I mean really once he kind of had a cold that went on for more than probably two days at things like nursery I just wouldn’t send him in cos I wouldn’t I’d want him to be at home if he either, I’d know after the third day whether he was gonna get worse or whether it’s gonna improve. If it’s improving I’d at least give him a day off anyway or two days off. Yeah but also I used to worry cos if it’s, he starts going downhill I want to be able to, for him to access the hospital straightaway rather than kind of waiting or being delayed or people not sure and all that kind of thing.

The only thing it kind of used to impact really is school. And because I’ve spoken to the school really about his kind of illnesses, as long as I end up with some kind of letter to say he’s been to the hospital, or

Okay.

Or he’s ill with a yeah with a illness, really that’s kind of it.

So they’re quite supportive?

I mean they’re quite, yeah they are quite understanding actually.

But he did used to have a healthcare plan, which they called it at the time because he was on a lot of medication and seeing a lot of specialists, he used to have to take a lot of time off of school going to appointments

Yeah.

so he was kind of on the radar for that. But now I mean it hardly impacts on his school at all now really.

Yeah.

Just a few times a year and they know, I’ve said to them, the school also know and the local authority that if he’s really ill I’m not sending him into school because the same way like my own mother, who’s the main other person who used to care for him can miss symptoms a school teacher is not going to see those symptoms, so I’m not taking the chance.

Yeah, when they have 30 other children.

Yeah. And it’s not fair on the class or the teacher or anybody, or me.

Yeah.

I wouldn’t be able to rest.

Whereas at school they will not administer any kind of pain relief, none at all. And if they have antibiotics, if they’re on three a day dosage regime they will not administer it in school.

Right.

You have to give it, bearing in mind it says, Take at evenly spaced intervals, this means you have to give it at sort of seven, half past seven in the morning before school, then nothing until half past three at the end of school, and they suddenly again at maybe six o’clock before bed. But you’ve got this big gap in the day. They would only give antibiotics if it was a four a day regime.

Okay.

For some antibiotics it’s four a day

Yes

..regime but for amoxicillin it’s usually three a day, they refused point blank to give it in the middle of the day. Which isn’t helpful.

No, not at all.

And when you work and it might have been one parent has dropped him off in the morning and the other, you’ve got to keep the amoxicillin in the fridge,

Yeah.

How are you then supposed to get him to school, so what usually happened is he didn’t get it at all until he managed to get home, which was usually by about four o’clock, so you’ve had seven, seven thirty, 4pm. and then you might as well give him two spoons at once because there’s no gap between the next dose. So I don’t think that was very helpful. And it almost encourages you not to send him back to school until the antibiotics are finished, even if he’s looking better and it’s just a case of finishing the course.

Now, how long does it take for the diabetes to get under control, following a flu or flu-like illness episode?

It really takes a long time. So, we have high blood sugar levels prior to the flu kind of being kind of noticeable. And then we have high blood sugar levels in duration. And when he starts to pick it up his insulin needs drop dramatically and they go back to kind of the normal requirements. So that adjustment, from being on sick day kind of insulin needs to kind of normal needs is, is quite tricky one. And I have sent him to school for instance, after a bug thinking he’s been a week off, he’s fine now and he looks fine. Sent him to school Monday, but him suffering from continuous lows all day, because his body is still kind of, I don’t really understand it and is probably something a consultant can answer. But it’s gone, he’s gone from needing so much insulin to requiring less and the body is still adjusting to that. So, it’s all about being quick, you know, recognising these trends and seeing or have to kind of change the settings on the pump pull back the insulin, feed him more carbohydrates, so yeah, it is, you know, I’ve been more cautious about sending him back to school even when he looks well, because even though the symptoms have disappeared and he appears well, it’s still the adjustment of a different needs, if you like, yeah.

And if there is a bad case of influenza at school, at his nursery what do you do? Do you try to keep him at home or there’s no point?

I’ve tried. I’ve agonised about that one cos the feeling of dread is, well ok well these other children might get flu and it, you know, it will be a few days of them feeling bad and it will be water off a duck’s back whereas if he gets it. But I’ve come down in the end on balance to saying, you know, I think it’s not, it’s not really practical to keep him away. So you just have to let him take his chances and if there is something going around he’ll probably get it and there you go [ha] just like all the other horrible things that go around.

There has been quite an impact on his schooling,

Yeah.

He’s always found maths a difficult subject, and I feel he has missed a lot of his maths particularly that he, I’ve had to do a lot of catch up with him at home myself. I’ve had to teach him a lot. The school that he’s been at has been both supportive and obstructive if that’s possible.

Right.

When I’ve rung and said Daniel’s ill he needs to be off school they’ve been, oh tell him, they’ve expressed concern, they’ve expressed upset, Don’t worry about it blah, blah, blah. But as he’s got older especially towards the sats that he did this year I’ve said, Would you please send me work home. Would you tell me what the topic is in maths, or would you Even if he’s not fit to do the work at least I know what he’s missed and I can maybe do something about it when he’s feeling a bit better. And they didn’t send work home. I never got any work sent home at all. And at one point he’d had so much absence, this is in his final year, Year 6 this last year they actually reported me to the education welfare officer cos his attendance was so low. And it’s because he’d been off with chest infections and pneumonias and all the rest of it and when I actually explained it to the education welfare officer she apologised and she said, I’m really sorry that you know that you had to explain all this to me, and I said, Actually the school haven’t been sending work home. I’ve asked for them to send, I’ve encouraged them to send, you know at the end of the day I am a teacher. Okay I’m not a Maths teacher but I should be able to do primary school Maths and my husband is a Maths teacher. The other subjects we are able to help him with. Please will you tell the school we’d rather they were more supportive in sending work home and telling us what he’s missed?

So I think it has impacted on his school. Fortunately he’s been able to catch up but mainly through our own efforts not through the schools effort.

Yes, yeah.

Through our efforts as parents.

And again many parents might not have the skills or the time or the ability to do that. So I think that there is a gap in many schools in supporting families when children are off. He’s not been off long term, he hasn’t been off for three and four weeks at a stretch, it’s usually three days here, four days there, two days here. It’s in bits but that, in some ways that’s even more disruptive than being off for a long period.

I think, probably the biggest impact is time off school. Because it only sort of takes a few viruses throughout the school year that require time off and antibiotics. But then your attendance is obviously going down and school aren’t always as supportive as what maybe they could be.

Yeah

Because they’re obviously having to they’re concerned about their figures and their attendance rates and, that then puts an additional pressure normally on your children as well, that they’re aware that their attendance is lower than expected, and it can also then have a knock on effect to your academic ability as well. And that’s probably the biggest impact that I found.

Have you been able to come to any arrangements with school or?

With my older child being at secondary, yes.

OK

Much more support is available there remotely. So, email and work can be sent to her via email which she can get on with and that’s not so much of an issue. I think at primary it’s a little bit more difficult, because you are missing out on the structured lessons of the day and then if a topic has been introduced and you’ve had a week off school and you go back again. Then it’s very hard to catch up.

Yeh. Do you think it’s affected him?

Mm

Does he have a sense that he’s?

Definitely, yes he does yeah.

In what way?

I mean he doesn’t want to be ill.

Yeah sure

And although he doesn’t look forward to school particularly every single day he, you know, he never wants to go to school all the time. But, he equally doesn’t want to be away from school and not learning. You know he gets the bigger picture on why you’re at school and that you need to learn. And I think if you’re off in a term and you’re off for maybe five/six/seven days of a term, that’s a lot of time out of school that you’ve missed, and he’s aware of that being older. And I think that has just a bit of a negative impact on him really.

Do you think he feels the pressure?

Mm yeah. And then you also notice that your child thinks, ‘Why me, why am I ill all the time?’

Really

Why am I catching everything?

Yeah. I mean, for my experience I’ve had very few supportive teachers with my primary school. I don’t think they understand that you can just catch as many viruses and, the one way which I’ve recently, at a meeting at school, I’ve got my GP to print off a list of just basic date and incident of going to see the GP and what the reason was.

Yeah

And it’s a two page A4 sheet; I think it was dated back to 2009 up to 2014. So that’s evidence. I just felt that it comments and things that we’d had in meetings about attendance had got to that level where I needed to just say, “Look, this is what he’s had; this is how many viruses and different illnesses that he’s had over the course of time.” And I wasn’t asked to do that but I felt that I needed to evidence that my child is only off if he’s ill.

Mm yes, yeah

Because we’ve had some very negative feedback from class teachers.