Yeah, so we made, cos not many people actually came to our sixth form from other schools. And in my like friendship group there was only I think two people from other schools that we made friends with. And at that time my acne was kind of in the process of getting better, so I didn’t really mind. And then there was my friend with the, the acne that I said about earlier. So we were both, I guess people are just really accept-, more accepting now than they, than they would have used to. Like they, you, people wouldn’t even mention it like if you spoke to them and you had a face like full of acne. They just, they just like accept you for who you are. Which I think is nice.

I think when I had it when I was younger, it didn’t really affect me that much cos like I didn’t have any exams or anything to study for. But when I started going on the Accutane (isotretinoin), so that was September, like cos I’d just started sixth form. And during like the lead-up to my GCSEs as well, that was when it was quite bad. And it used to stress me out a lot, like all the exams like plus me having acne as well and I was doing all the treatments and things. And it was quite a, like a build-up of things kind of made it, made it worse. And especially when I went on the Accutane, cos then I got the side effects. And obviously sixth form, cos I started A-levels. So it was all a big like change. And that was all quite stressful as well. So I think the acne didn’t help with that either.

And I would also say that lots of people say when they get acne they would automatically google what’s, what’s best for acne?’ And then lots of people immediately see ah, Accutane (isotretinoin). I want Accutane. And so they’ll go to their doctor and be like, I wanna go on Accutane. But that’s only for like really, when it gets really bad. And I think people need to, need to know that there’s other options before Accutane, because of all the side effects and things. And I think if, and if anyone’s ever feeling like sad about their acne or upset, then they, they must tell someone. Because it’s hard like, cos your self-esteem just like completely drops. And you need to have someone like a, your mum or a friend that you can talk to about it, because it sucks. And someone else needs to know that it sucks. So they can kind of help you through it.

I used to always wear my hair kind of like, like down like this, so that it wasn’t as obvious. Like say if I pulled it back in like a pony tail, then you could kind of see it. And I used to like prefer going to like parties or things when it was dark, so you, you couldn’t really see it that much. And I used to wear, I used to do my eye make-up like really nicely. So then people would kind of l-, notice that rather than looking at my acne. And, cos I couldn’t really wear any foundation or anything. So I used to do like eye make-up and then like really bold lipstick, so people would kind of like notice that rather than the spots.

Can I ask you a bit more about what you knew about acne before you had your first appointment with the GP?

I’d, like I’d looked some things up on the Internet around, cos I used to like think that eating unhealthily made you have acne, or like that, that you were dirty that you had acne. So I used to like look things up on the computer. And there was loads of things like no, it’s not that. It’s just like puberty and it’s like all your hormones and things. And all the GPs kept saying that as well. They were like, You’re young. You’re, you’re going through, like your hormones are all playing up. So it might just sort itself out. But obviously that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted it to be gone. But, yeah, so I looked up that it was like something to do with like blocking like your pores or something like that. I can’t really remember. But I just, I wanted to see if there was anything like I was doing wrong, like to see if I’d got the acne. Because I was one of, I was, obviously wasn’t one of the only people that I knew with acne. But I’d got it like the worst out of some of my friends. And I was kind of like oh, why have I got it this bad and they haven’t?’ and stuff like that. And, because there used to be like girls in my year who’d wear like loads of make-up and like wouldn’t getting it. And I’d be oh, why do I get it? I don’t wear any make-up. And I used to kind of, that’s why I started searching up things. And it was helpful cos it, it showed me that it was just kind of luck of the draw whether you got it or not.

So when I was about 13 I started getting like spots on my face. And it wasn’t that, like that bad at first. So I didn’t really mind. But then it started getting really bad. It was mostly on my forehead and like I get the T-zone bit. And I started to get like more self-conscious about it. So we went to the GP and he gave me, it was like a dabber like with some, it was more like an alcohol kind of thing that you’d put on your face like twice a day. And then it, it started to work really quickly. So I was like really happy. And, but then it stopped working and it got worse. So then I, I went back again and I got some different cream that I had to put on. Which was different cos it was more like a, like a gel rather than a scrubby kind of thing. And then that didn’t work. So then we went back and then he gave me like a stronger alcohol thing. And then that didn’t work. And in the end I was just getting really like agitated that it wasn’t going away. And it w-, I’d had it for about two or three years and it was just not good [laugh]. So we decided to go to a dermatologist. And my grandad kindly paid for me to go to a private one rather than the NHS one. And so we got like really quickly to go and see him. And he prescribed me another cream thing that only dermatologists can prescribe. But that didn’t work. And then in the end he gave me Roaccutane (isotretinoin).

And I know another option they gave me was to go on the Pill, which like could help. But I was quite young and I didn’t really want to do that. So I think that’s why they went for the, like the gels and the creams and the stuff before Accutane (isotretinoin).

Yeah. Could I ask why you weren’t keen to go on the Pill at that point?

So I think when like I first started going to the GP then they didn’t even mention that. And I think it was when I was around 15 that they were like, Oh, yeah, the Pill would work. And I knew one of my friends had gone on the Pill for acne like purposes. And like she, me and her are quite like sporty and she told me that with going on the Pill she’d put on weight. So I didn’t really want to go on it because I didn’t really wanna put on weight. If that sounds kind of bad. But that was one of the main reasons I didn’t really wanna go on it. And also because I wasn’t, like I didn’t need contraception. And I think that was just, I just found it a bit pointless. I’d rather have done something else specifically for my acne rather than something that might help my acne.

Yeah, so I do, for my job I’m a gymnastics coach. So, which is a bit strange. But basically one of the side effects is you get muscle fatigue and like joint pain. And I started my job and A-, Roaccutane (isotretinoin) around the time I went back to school. So there was a, like in September, so there was like a lot of stuff going on. So I was really tired in a lot of the times. And also it affected the, my shoulder joint quite a lot. And probably for my job, it didn’t help but it got really sore. And the dry skin. So you get really dry like, mostly it was your lips. So I used to always get like, not cold sores, but it used to crack in the corner of my, my lips. So that used to be quite painful. And it was mostly just fatigue and then the dry skin. But luckily I didn’t get any of the, some people like got nausea and stuff like that. I didn’t get any of that.

How did you deal with the side effects that you had?

Well, I knew that, well, I, I thought it would get better like after a while. Cos I knew that I was taking this and I knew the side effects. So I thought if my skin would get better then I could deal with it at first. And just kind of ploughed through I guess [laugh]. And, yeah, and I kept looking at the, the blogs that I’d found online to see that they’d gone through the whole side effects as well and they’d gone through it. So I thought oh, I can do it too.

This is really recently, I’d started using, like my mum got me some shower gel, some for Christmas, so I started using that. And then I started like after I was using it getting like, I don’t know, I thought it was kind of like a rash. But it was kind of, it reminded me of when I had acne. And I was getting it on like my chest. And I was like Oh, no, I’ll have to-‘ and I like, I went off it like straight away. And I think it was just some ingredient in it that my skin didn’t like. But then the rash went away. But I was like really worried then that kind of the acne was coming back. Cos at first I didn’t realise that it was the shower gel doing it. And I was like oh, my gosh, I’m getting acne on my chest again. And so that was pretty stressful. But when we figured out it was the shower gel and then I was like oh, that’s okay then.