Well, the disabled badge is about the best thing you can have, because it enables you to park practically anywhere…

Within my own borough it’s particularly helpful because you can use it for three hours in any bay, whether it’s ordinary parking bays or residents.And because I’m a student I got permission to extend it into the so-called green zone, which in my borough goes right down to central London. And then there are the other disabled parking spaces, which enables you to park outside the National Gallery. All major galleries, both Tates, have special parking allocated for the disabled. And in Tate Modern you have wheelchair buggies, electric buggies, and in the National Gallery you have wheelchairs.So they’re very user-, friendly towards the disabled badge holder.Terrific advantage. Wouldn’t do without it.

Well, this is a relatively new symptom. I don’t know what’s causing it. I haven’t asked. But my eyelids tend to close down. That’s very awkward because people think I’m going to sleep. I’ m not in fact. It may be something to do with the light. I doubt it. There’s not much light today. It may be something to do with concentration, the effort to concentrate the eye. I’ve no idea.

Do they just close of their own, of their own accord?

Well, I have to…

You don’t think, Oh, it would be nice to have my eyes closed no?

Well, there’s certainly that. But my pilates teacher says I must keep my eyes open for the sense of balance and there’s no voluntary action closes the eyes as I’m doing now. it’s very much involuntary. But I appreciate how rude this must seem to some people, but it helps me say what I want to say and concentrate, I believe.

Yes. I remember in the early days I used to go to cocktail parties. couldn’thear or make myself heard above thegeneral chatter. And I had to sit down. So gone are the days when I could chat up women at parties. I just don’tlike them any more. Cocktail parties.

Yes, I, yes, it is a, a problem.Not that you haven’t got things to say, but you can’t get it out in conversation quickly enough.People talk and exchange very quickly, very smoothly, get their ideas out.I can’t do that any more.I can think these things but by the time I’m ready to say thingsthe argument, discussion has moved on a great deal.

I mean you come on to the question of being a burden and pity.I don’t want to be a burden to, to anybody and therefore would forgo certain social occasions if I’m going to be a burden or if people are going to pity me and talk to me from a sense of duty or pity.That I hate.I’d much rather people treat me as I am, for what I am, and not out of a sense of pity or duty, if you see what I mean.

Well, my walking, my mobility has become far worse and deteriorates even now.There’s a tendency to festinate, which I believe means tipping forward and building up speed as you walk, shuffling.You are taught heel and toe’ the whole time.And logically you should be able to do it.And somehow the movement, forward movement takes control.And this is where you can have your falls as you suddenly pitch forward uncontrollably.And the feet which act as brakes very well don’t work.So therefore you’re looking for somewhere with a soft landing, a sofa with a soft landing, like a sofa, clutching to a wall or a lamp post to keep you upright.But then you can stand up straight, head and eyes open and walk about 20 yards or so.But then you start to festinate again.it’s a terrible bore.

Well, the council came round and assessed my needs and provided rails on the stairs and raised the height of the bed and the furniture and looked disapprovingly, as they all do, at the rugs on the floor, because they’re worried about tripping.And generally we’ve got a private occupational therapist, who is advising us on things like electric wheelchairs and other specialised equipment we might need.But I’m moving my study, we are moving my study from the top floor to the ground floor to avoid me having to climb the stairs.But I’ve got great help at home with a Brazilian lady, whos around most of the time. But my wife is very keen to increase the number of hours of the carers.

Because without the carers helping out, she would have no life of her own. She’s enormously stressed, my wife, and therefore needs respite. I’ve seen this with my sister-in-law married to my half-brother, fifteen years older he would be 85 and she can really take even with the carers, so much of him before she goes dog mad with stress. So it’s important to bear in mind your partner’s requirements and to avoid overstressing her.

Youhave no concept what you’re letting yourself in for, you have no concept of the endgame.The books talk about the condition, and how to handle the condition.And as such they’re very good.But they don’t talk about the, the end of the road.And that’s one thing which does worry me increasingly.How, what happens?What is the final prognostication?Death comes to us all, but not, I’m sure Parkinson’s doesn’t kill you.But what will your state be in about five years’ time? That’s what I want to know.I don’t think anybody can answer that question, but it’s something which preoccupies me.

I enjoy food. I eat very slowly. My left hand cannot really take a fork. My left hand, when it exerts pressure, does wobble about and sprays food all over people. So I have to be careful. I tend to eat like the Americans do, with the right hand and a fork. It takes me a long time. There’s a danger if I don’t chew, cut up and chew things, meat especially, I will choke. And there’s one or two episodes of choking. And it produces great alarm around the table and great embarrassment to me. My mouth, which has lost the power of control to a certain extent, and then drooling is a problem, can be a problem. It means that I tend to spill things down my front at lunch or tea or supper just completely involuntarily. I now wear an apron and a bib a la Francaise and it keeps my shirts relatively clean. But it’s, it’s a problem, which I wouldn’t disguise, but I manage to keep up with most people.