Neil – Experiences of intensive care with COVID-19

Neil developed symptoms at the end of March 2020. He spent 18 days in the intensive care unit, and a further 5 weeks recovering on the acute medical and general wards. Neil has found his time in hospital “the most life-changing months [he has] ever had”. Interviewed for the study in October 2021.

When Neil first started coughing in March 2020, he called his employer to say he probably needed to self-isolate. They were helpful and agreed that he would be in touch when he was feeling better. As the cough got worse, Neil’s flatmate got more and more concerned, and eventually suggested calling the doctor. Neil spoke to 111, who suggested he call his GP. The secretary at the GP suggested he phone an ambulance if his symptoms got worse. When Neil coughed up a bit of blood, he felt it was time to phone an ambulance. The ambulance arrived within minutes, and the paramedics took him to hospital.

In hospital all staff was geared up in “space suits”. Neil was initially on a ward with non-Covid patients where he was to be medically assessed. He could overhear staff saying his name and wondered why they were not telling him straight away what was wrong. He was eventually moved to another ward, and then another, and eventually ended up in a side room. He retained the feeling that this particular ward “did not really want him there”.

Based on the experience of his mother’s death about 8 years ago, Neil spoke quite frankly to doctors about that they should do what they felt was best for him and his survival, even if this meant intubation. After that he feels that he “started to lose time”. Neil was subsequently mechanically intubated for 2 weeks.

When Neil was in induced coma his kidneys failed and he was put on a dialysis machine. As it was early in the pandemic in 2020, medications for Covid had not yet been found and so doctors trialled various drugs. Neil knows he was proned, although he does not actively remember this. When being weaned off the ventilator, Neil started to have hallucinations. Neil describes himself as lucky, as his hallucinations were mostly “not too violent, and in part even fairly funny”.

When Neil awoke, he thought he was in Scotland, perhaps due to the accent of a Scottish nurse who had been taken care of him. Initially he could not put a face to anybody in the ICU, and thought they looked like people from work.

He quickly improved, which meant that he could be moved to the high dependency unit (HDU). At that time many patients were dying, so his moving to HDU was important step for both Neil and the staff. Neil had to “learn to be a human being again: to walk, to talk”; he had physiotherapy every day. He found the staff brilliant. Unfortunately, a secondary infection meant that his rapid recovery was set back, which was difficult to come to terms with at the time. The nurses and doctors supported him through, encouraging him and telling him he would get better. Neil then spent 5 weeks on the regular ward.

After coming home, he received physiotherapy. These sessions ran from April to November 2020 and were one of the most helpful things for his recovery. It was quite emotional when they stopped, as they had been such a big part of Neil’s journey towards full recovery.

Neil furthermore participated in an online support group. He found this tremendously helpful as a form of bonding and moral support. The group helped him to feel less isolated, to realise that he was not the only one who had specific problems, that everyone had bad days. He was told by others that they saw him as an inspiration of where they could get to with their recovery.

Neil’s time in hospital with Covid have been “the most life-changing months [he had] ever had”: he values life more, values friendships more, he is less materialistic and now sees work as a means to live, rather than the reverse.

Neil joined a support group of people who had also had Covid and had been mechanically ventilated.

Gender Male

When Neil had a secondary infection that was a set-back. He told the physiotherapists and his doctor that he needed a break. His physio supported him until he no longer needed support.

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Neil talked through feelings of survivor guilt in his support group. He advised never to feel guilty for surviving.

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Neil was clapped out of the ICU by the staff to the MAU [Medical Assessment Unit] and then to the general unit after a week.

Gender Male

Before he fell ill with Covid, Neil dismissed the chance that he could fall ill with the virus.

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Neil had “funny hilarious, sometimes scary hallucinations”. He wanted to visit the ICU to put faces to the voices he remembers.

Gender Male