Moazzam and Zubaida – Experiences of intensive care with COVID-19
Moazzam fell ill with Covid in October 2020 and was in hospital with for 4 and a half months, including 2 and a half months in ICU. He moved in with his 80-year-old mother in her ground floor flat after his discharge, because his own home had stairs he could no longer climb.
Time of interview April 2021
Moazzam experienced trouble with his breathing in October 2020. When his breathing got worse in the middle of the night, his wife called an ambulance. He was admitted to hospital, where he was given an oxygen mask. Moazzam does not remembers much after that. He was in a coma for about 2 and a half months. Moazzam only later realised how ill he had been.
Moazzam is diabetic and has high blood pressure. In the hospital he was fitted with a pacemaker. Whilst in a coma, Moazzam suffered hallucinations that felt very real to him. It was difficult for clinicians to bring him out of the coma. When he awoke, he was very weak and was haunted by his dreams. He could not face his brothers, because he had dreamt, they had been hurt because of him and he believed this had really happened.
Moazzam was discharged to the general ward. Nurses would come regularly to check his blood sugar levels and take blood. His arms were bruised from the many times his blood was taken. He was not able to pray in the way he would have liked to on the ward, because it was hard for him to lift his arms, and he had no sense of time. A Somali nurse sometimes helped him to pray or prayed with him, something Moazzam appreciated.
Moazzam was discharged from hospital 4½ months after being admitted. He could not walk, so he used a wheelchair. He, his wife and children live in a first floor flat. After his discharge, he was unable to climb stairs and there was a month-long waiting list to install a stair lift. Therefore he could not move back home. Instead, he moved in with his elderly mother, who lives in a ground floor flat. He had help from an occupational therapist, who looked at whether the bathroom had enough space for him to manoeuvre, and a carer who came in twice a day to help him go to the bathroom and do Wudu (the Islamic ritual of cleansing parts of the body). Moazzam’s family helped with other tasks and activities.
Moazzam feels that his admission did not just impact him, but also his family and his extended family in Pakistan. Had he not been in hospital, his wife would have gone to her sister’s wedding and seen her father before he passed away. Although his wife has never said anything about it to him, Moazzam feels guilty about her not having seen her father. He worries about his children taking on a caring role. His ability to work has also been affected. He previously worked as a courier, but cannot do that anymore since he cannot walk, at least not at the moment.
Compared to how he was before his admission, Moazzam finds that his eyesight has deteriorated. He still struggles with his breathing and is concerned he may have long Covid. He was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) following his time in hospital. His family is an important source of support. But Moazzam finds it hard that his mother is taking care of him, because he feels he should be looking after her.
His mother feels differently. She was in Pakistan when her son was in hospital, and only found out that he had been admitted to ICU when she was back in the UK. She prayed a lot for her son whilst he was in coma, alongside friends and family across the world. Moazzam’s nephew answered his uncle’s question what the family had been doing whilst he was in coma: We were in a worse coma than you, no one’s head would lift from prayer, no one’s hands would come down from making Dua. Hands were tied in front of Allah Moazzam’s mother is grateful to Allah for her son’s survival. Although she is disabled herself, she is happy that her son is home with her. She feels renewed energy since taking up his care.