Getting professional help for depression
Most people we interviewed had gotten professional help at some point for symptoms of depression. Some began by seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor. For others a family doctor, obstetrician, or another medical specialist was the first professional they encountered. A few people began treatment at a hospital, juvenile treatment facility, or prison.
Regardless of what kind of contact with professionals came first, most people remember the act of getting formal help as a distinct moment in the overall trajectory of their depression experiences. This summary explores what it was like to first seek and get care from professionals – including experiences receiving a depression diagnosis. We have also included experiences of those who decided not to get professional help.
Reasons for seeking help
People’s stories about first getting help vary, but many include the realization that things will not simply get better on their own and that the status quo is no longer sustainable. As Shayne put it, ‘I think I just had to screw up a bunch and learn the hard way that I needed more help than I was willing to get.’ Pete says it took him a long time to seek therapy for his depression because ‘In all honesty I am a very prideful person, so for a while I was too proud to admit’ needing help.
Joey says he finally went to the doctor for help when he realized he no longer had any idea what would make him feel good.
Crystal was reluctant to get professional help because of cultural/familial stigma about mental illness but eventually did through her college in a way that was both confidential and affordable.
Knowing other people who suffered from depression made it much easier for Jason to realize he was also depressed and it was okay to seek help.
People recall their first encounters with professionals in very different ways. Some connected right away with a doctor, therapist, or counselor and felt an immediate sense of relief. Joey, for example, said ‘I lucked out. The doctor I had was very like person oriented, very specific to me.’ Ryan described the first visit as being ‘finally able to open the flood gate.’
Other people found it hard to relate to or accept help from the first professionals they encountered. Jeremy says he felt the whole thing was ‘somewhat forced’ since it was his parents’ idea that he see a psychologist in the first place. For Crystal, engagement with a school psychologist felt ‘extremely intrusive’ in the beginning – like someone was ‘coming into my own personal stuff and this is just way too much.’ Several people said their first therapist ‘wasn’t a good fit’ or was ‘awful,’ or that the first professional they saw did not handle the question of medication well.
For Ryan, talking with a professional for the first time was a relief, but also hard because it brought up things he had never told anyone before.
Jacob didn’t know what to expect from therapy, and found he had to get used to all the individual attention he got when he went.
Teddy says he could have avoided a lot of bad times if he had gotten help sooner.
It was rough for Sara to realize she needed help, because her mom never wanted to believe anything was wrong. Once Sara did reach out and get medication, she felt better.
Getting a diagnosis of depression
Most people we interviewed received a clinical diagnosis of depression. Some people got their diagnosis through high school or college health services. Others were diagnosed by doctors or therapists they saw privately, or in group homes, hospitals, or through evaluations in the foster care system.
Reactions to the diagnosis of depression varied significantly. Some felt the diagnosis suggested something manageable: in Joey’s words, ‘It’s like, there’s actually a name to it and there’s actual ways you can go from feeling here to feeling over here It was a relief. It was like, ok. You can do this. Move along now.’ While others found it difficult to absorb or accept the diagnosis. Sara’s response was ‘I didn’t even want to believe that I had postpartum depression, because I didn’t like the definition of it. I didn’t like what they said about it.’ Julia said she was not okay with the words ‘depression’ and ‘eating disorders’ when she first heard them, and even years later ‘it’s still very hard for me to accept these diagnoses.’ Casey felt like being diagnosed meant depression was something he’d have to ‘deal with forever maybe.'
A diagnosis of depression came as a surprise for Jacob, because he thought his fortunate life circumstances meant he could not be depressed.
Devin felt a combination of anger and relief when he was diagnosed with clinical depression.
Several people we interviewed self-identified as having depression, but explicitly avoided getting an official diagnosis. Jeremy was concerned that black people are often mis-diagnosed or mis-understood by professionals. Nadina wanted to focus on alternative therapies and stay away from labels. Tia met with two different doctors who wanted to treat her depression and offered to prescribe medication, but she did not proceed with either because she did not want a depression diagnosis documented in her medical chart.
Jeremy feels that a depression diagnosis might act like a self-fulfilling prophecy, making his struggles with low mood especially during winter months — worse.
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