Depression and strategies for everyday life
Young adults we interviewed described strategies they had created or been taught that make it easier to live with depression on a daily basis. As Sam put it, such approaches make it ‘ more comfortable going through day to day life and dealing with these symptoms of depression when they arise.’
For many people short-term approaches to dealing with depression lay the groundwork for eventual healing and recovery. For some these approaches also connect to a broader sense of purpose. This part of the website, however, focuses on specific strategies that the young adults we spoke with developed to lessen the day-day impact of depression; why they think such strategies are important; and how they succeeded in creating them. (See links below to explore ‘Depression and healing‘ and ‘Having a purpose in life‘).
Sam says his depression has not disappeared, but he has learned from books, other people and therapists some useful ways of dealing with his symptoms.
One coping strategy many people find useful is to approach things ‘one day at a time.’ Several people said that making things ‘bite-sized’ or ‘thinking about them in little stages’ renders them more manageable. Others talked about the importance of slowing things down by setting priorities among competing tasks that cannot all be accomplished, or saying ‘no’ to all but a few commitments each day. As Kate put it, ‘Depression makes you tired and it makes you need to recover longer than other people. So you need to give yourself a break.'
Violet says it’s critical to respect that depression creates limits on how many things can happen each day, and to create firm boundaries so as not to stretch that limit.
Crystal says taking daily things like eating and chores one at a time slows things down to a level that is more appropriate for a depressed person than is the rush of modern life.
Nadina contrasts the benefits of working freelance with the difficult demands of hourly work in an overwhelmingly social setting.
Setting specific goals for each day or for the week was described by a number of people as a useful way of staying organized and productive. As Kate put it, ‘knowing what you’re going to do next week helps you not feel so helpless.’ Colin said as he came out of a serious bout of depression, he started getting more control of his life by focusing on ‘ how to make myself want to get out of bed in the morning, how to find purpose in my day.’ For Sophie having a creative internship experience to look forward to at the end of each week helped to take her mind off the difficult parts of everyday life and thus to lessen her depression.
For Kate, meeting daily obligations is a valuable measure of functionality. It is not easy to do, but the rewards are significant.
The process of setting goals and then achieving them keeps Jacob’s depression at bay.
Crystal found that many small goals help her manage day to day, and hopes they may also add up to a larger, healthier goal over time.
Lists help Violet to be proactive and counteract the way depression can make her feel out of control.
Journaling is a process of writing down thoughts and feelings. A number of people we talked to said that for them, journaling has been an important tool – a way to understand feelings and process them more objectively, recognize patterns over time, or improve communication with other people. Some journal on their own, and others do it in connection with therapy.
Sam finds it valuable to write down what is going on because it helps him ‘ realize this thing is bothering me, but, actually, there are practical steps I could take to mitigate it or, actually, it’s not very consequential.’ Crystal said journaling is one effective way to ‘process things instead of live them’; writing helps her to recognize and acknowledge thoughts born of depression without an accompanying ‘rush of emotions.’ Ryan said the journals he kept as a child were ‘the best way [to] vent’ that he has discovered so far. A couple of people noted that journaling is challenging for them.
Sara began journaling when her therapist suggested it, and finds it helps her break out of negative thought patterns and move on.
Journaling is still too difficult and emotional for Leanna because it opens a floodgate of emotion.
A number of people focused on exercise and/or diet as a strategy for addressing their depression or preventing it from recurring. One person aptly summarized common experiences by noting ‘Any type of exercise feels great when you’re depressed, because it makes you feel less depressed afterwards.’ Some people ‘ just sort of figured out what worked better’ on their own, while others had doctors, therapists, teachers, or others help them.
Violet says a bad diet triggers her depression, and eating well makes it better.
Joey’s doctor helped him realize how poor his eating habits were, and the role this might be playing in his depression, by checking in with him regularly about self-care and food.
Sierra Rose believes exercise would help her, but reluctance to exercise in front of other people and finding the motivation to go do it are both barriers.
For many people, depression includes the disappearance or absence of joy in everyday life. People we spoke to who developed an intention to counter this problem, and/or implemented strategies for doing so, generally found they were able to bring some joy back in. Colin says looking for ‘that little bit of joy’ is a useful strategy for addressing depression day by day without feeling like he has to ‘grasp onto bigger concepts.’ Several people talked about specific things they seek out in order to feel that joy – for example gardening, time with children, travel, or learning new things.
Brendan may not be capable of feeling joy each day, but he has learned to be less troubled about its absence by remembering that it will return.
Specific sources of joy for Colin include classmates with a sense of humor and cats.
Because depression decreases stamina and increases sensitivity for many people, every-day strategies for avoiding known ‘triggers’ can be essential. Elizabeth says depression has taught her that she doesn’t ‘have the kind of brain’ that handles drugs or alcohol well, and that she needs to stay away from them entirely in order to feel well. Jeremy has learned he needs to prepare for winter, when his depression always worsens, by keeping up his exercise routine, getting outside, and avoiding drinking and drugs. Marty knows that ‘lying in bed for too long, it’s just not good,’ and that ‘being stuck in your own head and free time is very bad.’ Others talked about staying away from lifestyle pitfalls like isolation and poor health by staying socially engaged, establishing healthy self-care patterns, or avoiding dysfunctional work habits.
Shayne says managing depression is like managing diabetes: she has to constantly monitor multiple factors in order to keep on an even keel.
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