Well I think the most important is first of all not to give up. That theres always hope and that, as I said before, that childhood and teenage cancer is very different from cancer in adults. It’s not the same. And that as I was told when I was diagnosed, cancer doesn’t have to be this horrible dirty word we all think of it being. It really doesn’t. Cancer can be a really, really positive thing. And I think the way my treatment went and five years down the line when I look at me now I really think that cancer was hugely positive.

Well I’m looking forward to September going to university. One day even maybe a doctor, which has been, which was a reality or had, which I’d really. I’d really like to be a doctor eventually. My interest in medicine comes from having Hodgkin’s. I’ve just had my A level results last summer and I was really, really pleased with them. So I’m looking to the future.

What would be your advice to another teenager who is about to start treatment or is, beginning to experience a cancer?

Just that it gets really scary really quickly, but you have to like do as you’re told, which is the last thing you want to do when you’re a teenager, but you just have to trust that the people that are trying to make you better, it’s just trying to make you better, they’re doing everything in your best interest [coughs].

And you also have to be patient, you learn to be really patient once you’re in hospital and you’re just waiting around doing nothing. And you have to want it, you have to like, it’s a really hard struggle, so you have to want to get better. You have to understand that you’re going to have to put a lot of effort into it and it, it’s going to be the most important thing in your life at the time so you’re going to have to put everything aside like friends and family and just be selfish, concentrate of yourself and if they are, like your family will understand that and your true friends will understand that as well. And they’ll know that that’s what you need to do, so you have to just not worry about anything, just be totally stress free and just try and look yourself, that kind of thing.

I think it’s really important to stay strong and positive and focus on getting through it and on how great life is going to be afterwards. But as I said before, I think it’s also really important to acknowledge that it’s a really scary time and not feel that it’s stupid to be scared. Talk to people that you feel comfortable to’ don’t bottle it up.

And just acknowledge that it is hard but that other people are going through it too and that there are other people that you can talk to. Talk to your friends, talk to family, talk to the doctors because they’ve seen so many people who’ve been through the same thing, and talk to patients that are better not just ones that are ill. And don’t feel different or stupid because you’re scared because it is scary but stay positive because life goes on afterwards and it’s just so important to focus on that.

Oh, and to enjoy the new perspective it brings to your life. Enjoy that it makes you look at really normal things and think ‘Gosh this is brilliant!’ and just the feelings of just loving everyday life that you gain from it from having had a scary experience.

And so yes stay positive but acknowledge that it’s scary as well I think.

(The text has been altered in accordance with the wishes of Interview 13.)

If your hair is going to fall out, have it cut off, because waking up with strands of hair on the pillow is not nice. If the anti-sickness drugs that you’re having aren’t making you feel better, please ask for different ones, because there are about 12 different types of anti-sickness drugs, and I didn’t realise to ask, to start off with, so I was just putting up with feeling sick. But there are so many types that work in so many different ways, that there will be one that will work for you. I’m not going to say ‘Don’t be frightened, because that would be stupid, but, cancer is something that’s very misunderstood by most of the population. Considering so many people get it, that’s quite it’s quite strange. But it’s something which strikes fear into so many people, and it’s so well treated now that the chances of survival are so much higher, so it, it’s a horrible thing, but you can get so much from it if you choose to do so. I feel, personally, that I, it’s not, it’s not that I’m glad that I had cancer, but I wouldn’t take it back, because it’s given me so much. I’m so much closer to my family. I know what I want to do in the future, and it’s changed, completely, from what I wanted to do before I was ill. I’ve got a lot of life perspective now, there are so many things that I don’t moan about to the extent that I moaned about before, and I feel much better able to empathise with people if they’ve got something that they’re worried about, because I had so much time to think about things when I was ill, that I have so many more opinions that I’ve formed on things.

It’s hard to talk to people, but there are so many people out there, find someone that you can talk to, because my, in my experience, not talking to people is what made me depressed. Keeping things inside, and me feeling like I was the only one, and I was a freak, was really, really hard, and you’re not, there are so many people out there who are exactly the same, going through exactly the same things as you, so whether it’s, whether you talk to friends, whether you talk to family, whether you talk to a counsellor, or whether you talk to someone that you get in contact with through a charity, do it, because it really does help. And try and understand how other people react, react to you, as well, because some people are brilliant. Some people react fantastically, are really supportive. Some people don’t know how to deal with it, and if they react badly, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they feel badly towards you, sometimes it’s just that they can’t they don’t know where they stand, and they don’t know quite what they can do to help you, and sometimes they need a bit of a helping hand. Much as it, much as’ as much as it’s you who’s ill, and, therefore, if people should be helping you, they need you to help them along as well. If you don’t tell them what’s wrong, they can’t help you. If you don’t try and understand what it’s like from the other side, watching a friend or a family member be ill, then you can’t help them, and then they can’t help you. So really communicate with people, because it does help. And it’s hard, but it, it does help a lot.

What would you advise them, what would you say to them?

Stay positive find something that will keep you positive like I have music, may be it might be drawing for you, it might be I don’t know watching movies, it might be writing a book, I don’t know. I know, I know many people that have been through the same kind of thing who wrote journals which got them through it you know. So the main thing I would say would be positive, find something which would help, helps you through, takes your mind off things. Try to consider, I know at the time it’s hard to do but try to consider how your parents feel and how your family feel, how other people around you feel and just not, not to give up, not, I know it’s not going to be easy, it’s not possible to beat it but just not letting it beat you is going to be the biggest thing. And to do that is to stay positive. You know obviously have your down days, you know you can’t have a constant run of good days, you obviously from now and again everyone has a down way, whether they’re going through chemotherapy or radiotherapy or just not, you know just at work doing normal things you know. So the main thing I’d say just keep positive, look forward, don’t, don’t look at the situation as it is now or behind what it was, just look forward and keep positive.

You’ve obviously done a huge amount for other people and you say that keeps you going in some ways?

Yeah well one of my mottos is the best ways to help myself is to help others, so that’s how I’m spending my time now and as a result I’m pretty, pretty happy with things.

So would you, what sort of message would you pass onto other young people who’ve been given a diagnosis of cancer?

To young people, it’s just to keep on going, and just to be as positive as possible. But it’s important to recognise positivity isn’t being happy and smiley 24:7 cos that’s a bit clichéd and unrealistic. Positivity to me is about making real steps and changes to your life. How you’re going to approach something or what you’re going to actually do with your life and just start thinking about things a bit more, a bit more potently and coherently, so is worrying about X scan result actually going to achieve anything? Or would you be much more productive just totally forgetting about it and just enjoying those couple of weeks leading up to it doing I don’t know whatever you enjoy. Each to their own, but yes to me positivity is about just making actual changes to your life and make a difference. And yeah so just keep on going. Cancer isn’t great, but life can be so you’ve just got to concentrate on that bit, and just enjoy living.

Yeah so I, yeah I’ve had the bucket list which I’ve had a great time with, and I’ve done loads of fun things off the bucket list as well. And yeah I am quite happy, whether I tick another off or not, the main thing I’m concentrating on is the fund raising, so as I say the new target is a million, so I’m going to be pushing hard for that. As well I’ve been doing kind of motivational speaking to schools, to businesses, to health professionals, to all kinds of kind of settings to share my experiences with, with a view to helping and just got lots of exciting projects on at the moment. I’ve got a documentary out soon, I’ve recently released my own new website, Stephensstory.co.uk, recently released an e-book, hopefully I’m going to write a bigger book in the future and yeah just loads going on.

How much support have you gained from outside, through the websites, through Facebook or Twitter or your blog?

Yeah they’re, since starting Stephen’s Story the support I’ve had has just been absolutely huge, it’s been from inter, it’s been international, for example I’ve had messages from other countries just saying, Wow, really respect what you’re doing, blah blah, wish you all the best. Or people sharing their own stories of someone who’s had cancer or anyone or etcetera and it’s just been as I say really helpful, cos it’s just really humbling you know that, that people do actually care but without something like Stephen’s Story all around me and it’s huge reach I wouldn’t be able to notice that. But people do genuinely care and yeah want to help out.

Oh that’s good, they can see, so you look at, do you write something most days?

Yeah, no I try and update as much as I can, so theres normally an update or two a day. Whether it’s about what I’ve done in the day, whether it’s about an upcoming event, whether it’s just a motivational just thought, or whether it’s just a silly anecdote to try and put as much out there as I can and it’s all just as positive as can be, and again it’s a, the page is just to spread as much positivity as possible.

Probably in, well in retrospect just to not really, not really get bogged down with worries and fears and you know constant theories that could happen. Just to kind of concentrate on what is happening, and how you feel and just to listen to how, well just to be very attentive to how you feel and make sure you’re aware of it and no matter what silly little thing it is, or it may seem to you, just to kind of assess it and raise it with your doctor and or your, anybody else around you and, you know. No matter how trivial it seems to you just you know go with it and raise the issue because it could, it could lead to more important things at the end but you never will know unless you, unless you find out the information. And also really just to realise the amazing network of people that are behind you and that are there to help. Not only charities and doctors and nurses and organisations like that, but also friends and family are so willing to give when, you know, when you, when you ask and they’re always trying to, they’re always only trying to help basically. If, if you find them overpowering and you know perhaps doing too much to, then just tell them, they’ll be more than happy to just kind of take whatever you want to take, whatever kind of criticism or information you want basically, it’s just a really good opportunity to kind of form those sort of bonds and, yeah, just to let people know how you’re feeling and all that kind of stuff. And just try and take as much positive, positivity and good, you know, good level of focus on life really as you can from it because you can’t go through life, for the rest of your life, worrying you know, what if this is round the corner, what if that’s around the corner, because you just will never get around that corner. You just have to kind of keep focusing on what is important to you and just try and achieve it basically.

What advice would you give to teenagers that are going through a similar experience like you went, sort of having to have cancer treatment for a second time, what would be your advice?

Yeah I’d say that just because its come back doesn’t mean that its incurable, it certainly doesn’t mean its incurable and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you, you know you, you feel you should worry more either because it, its, its really its sort of the same, its exactly the same as it was the first time and just because the prognosis is maybe lowered by a couple of percent doesn’t mean it, it’s just statistics, its just figures, it doesn’t actually mean a huge, a great deal.

I’d definitely say you know certainly don’t worry because worrying is, is the worst thing you can do. Worrying makes you feel, you know down in itself, you know I mean you’re feeling bad enough, you’re having treatment so it’s not as if you need to worry. But no I, I’d just say no theres always light at the end of the tunnel even if you, even if you have got it back a second time or even a third time I don’t know what its like to have a third time but, and hopefully I never will but yeah, no just, I really wouldn’t you know, I’d advise you not, not to worry particularly about it.