At my first booking visit the midwife was very good and explained very clearly about the options available to me. And she explained that I could have a primark blood test in conjunction with a nuchal scan and I decided that – I hadn’t heard about that before – but I decided that was definitely the option I wanted to go for, because you find out much earlier in the pregnancy if there are any problems.

So you had to pay for that?

I had to pay for that.

And what was the experience of having that scan like?

It was actually quite rushed in terms of getting it, getting all the different stages done in time. I’m, you know, I’m pleased that she told me about it then, because I could otherwise have missed the window of opportunity.

Almost straight away I had to phone up the centre that do the test, the blood test. They have to send you a sample bottle. You then have to arrange an appointment with your GP nurse to get a blood sample, and send it back to them. And in fact I actually found it quite difficult just to get an appointment with my nurse, so it was all rather tight in terms of time.

The people who performed the scans were obviously very professional and experienced. We asked questions and they answered everything we wanted to know. There was no interruptions or problems.

The experience was excellent, very straightforward, we had a good feeling afterwards, we felt very reassured with the whole thing, so it’s not that I have doubts that, oh, they were, you know, perhaps they didn’t know what they were doing.

I was, I mean the first time I clapped eyes on my first child I just couldn’t believe it, how baby-like and how detailed. I mean that nuchal fetal, that’s the best scan you get. All the other scans – I mean, the local hospital scans were very crummy resolution – are just awful;

It’s the best scan, I think, that you really see your baby. I mean, a) it’s the first one. Oh, I mean, also I’d been told drink a lot of fluid beforehand, and when she looked at it the first time, the very first scan I had, she was just seeing fluid and fluid and fluid, because I hadn’t gone to the loo. I was busting and I’d drunk, like it said on the literature, I’d drunk two litres or whatever, two pints, a litre;

And she – I thought, ‘Oh, maybe it’s a phantom pregnancy. Maybe it’s not really there, you know. Maybe it’s just my hormones, you know. And you know, it happens; And then when shed actually found it, ‘Oh okay. I am pregnant. This isn’t just a phantom issue, you know.

So that was just a bit of relief, really, just to see, to see him there, you know, see he really existed and was happening. And no, I did enjoy it. It was lovely to see both. No, definitely, it was still lovely to see them. I did have this issue I was trying to hold myself back a bit emotionally from getting too carried away until I got the all clear. But I definitely still enjoyed my first sight of them.

So when you came to what must have been your fourth scan by this point, it was all sorted out?

Yes. We, I saw the consultant and we had, it was quite a contrast actually, because first of all there was a, I don’t know, I think it was a doctor, who did the scan, who had a manner of doing it which was just to sit there sort of silently looking at everything and recording all the information. And the information would be passed on to someone else who was writing it down, it was a nurse or a midwife.

And that was very, quite anxiety-making, because we didn’t know what was going on and we did ask, ‘What’s your measure? What does that measure?’, and shed say, ‘It measures the circumference of the head, and they were looking and this and they were looking at that. But we had to ask her and, so she wasn’t forthcoming at all in terms of what she thought until she got right to the end when she said, ‘I think everythings fine. But by which stage we didn’t believe her because, oh, you know, she hadn’t explained anything.

And then, what happened then was the consultant came in, and he went through the whole process again but in a completely different way, which was to describe everything that he saw. And first of all, without going, he just looked at where the babies were lying, where they were and described them.

Then every measurement he did he would say what it was and say, ‘That’s absolutely fine and theres nothing wrong with the baby. And his way of dealing with the fact that one of them was curled up, the one was, he was still curled up, was I was lying on the bed and [name], my partner, was sitting on a chair. And he said, ‘Well, you’re lying down and hes sitting up, what’s the big deal?’ And basically that’s what the babies were like.

The little girl one was lying flat and she could be easily measured, and the other one was like that with his legs over his head. But he said that it was absolutely fine. So his method of explaining what was going on was really substantially better than how the first doctor had done it, and he was really excellent, because you knew exactly what he was seeing, and he was telling you whether there was anything problematic about that and saying that there wasn’t. And that was excellent, he was really good.

Had they forewarned you that somebody would come in again and do the whole thing through from scratch?

No, that was really nerve-wracking in that, especially because of how shed been, and I think I said, ‘Why, are you getting the consultant? Did you have to get the consultant in?’, or something like that. And she said, ‘Oh no, he was going to do it anyway. He was always going to look at the results.

But they hadn’t explained that, so he just kind of appeared from nowhere. And that, having not felt very confident about what had happened so far, that was even more alarming, that they then thought, ‘Oh, she needs to get the consultant in. But in fact he was, he was so good that very shortly after, you know, you began to feel reassured.

And he just had a very much more open and it, just more forthcoming in terms of what was going on and what he was doing, and he had a good way of explaining what he was doing, putting you at ease. He was very good.

The scan was sort of quite detailed and they spend some time over it. And then they phone up there and then on the spot to get your blood test results, to the centre where the blood test result is being done, because they’re separate. They were separate venues.

And then they’re very quiet throughout the whole process. They don’t sort of give you any hints as to whether things are good or bad, and then they take you to a little room afterwards and give you a piece of paper which shows you your risk. And I think for my age, which is, will be thirty five when my baby’s born, it’s about one in four hundred is the sort of national average. And she came back with a piece of paper saying that mine was one in eleven thousand, which felt very reassuring.

What was it like during the scan then, given this silence? Was that worrying?

I mean they pointed out sort of features on the baby, but they didn’t give any hint as to whether there were sort of things wrong or not.

Would you have liked them to?

I’m not sure. Possibly. I suppose if it had been good news it would have been nice if they were saying as they were going along, “Well, that looks fine, that looks fine”. If it had been bad news I’d probably rather not have known in that position, I’d probably rather be sitting in a room, and sort of take it on board then. But yes, thinking about it, it would have been reassuring if they’d said, “Oh, that looks, that looks good, that looks OK.”

We do tend to get so involved with what we are doing because there is so much to do, that you forget about the person, the person you are attending. And so, you know, the specialist in eyes says, ‘This is an eye and he doesn’t see the rest of the person, and that’s for all the specialities.

I think it’s very, very, very important for everybody who works in health care, whatever you do, to always remember that you have a person there, and that, you know, the fact that you know a bit more in that particular area doesn’t make you superior or better to that other person.

And you yourself one day will be in that person’s place, because one day you will be a patient, one way or another. So I think we should always keep in mind that, and try to, before putting all the science in practice and all the knowledge, put the humanity, yeah?

And that’s what I try to do in everything I do, because I think it’s very important to, you know, show some warmth, human feeling to others – and it usually works. So, especially, you know, in the pregnancy experience, which is something so human, so common, so everyday, and which should be always an issue of happiness, and, you know, expectations and optimism.

Yes, healthcare professionals can do a lot just by, you know – I think they do it great here, I am not criticising. I think from what I have seen, people are really great. Nurses and midwives and doctors, they usually are very good.

It is just that sometimes, perhaps for over work, overload of work, or problems of limitations of funds, or whatever, they tend to, you know, be a bit stressed and forget a bit that, you know, that’s not only one patient in front of the long queue but a person. So it would be nice to remind them a bit and to make that experience even better.