And can you remember what kind of delivery you didn’t want?

Hmm… You see, I don’t remember having much knowledge of caesarean sections at all, at all. I think that’s why, when it actually happened, it was so traumatic for me because I, I really didn’t anticipate it ever happening.

And can you remember the kind of information that you wanted with that pregnancy?

I did get quite a lot of information with that pregnancy but I just didn’t look into having a section’ at all.

And can you remember the kind of information that you did receive? Did you go to ante-natal classes?

Yeah, I went out, I went to a lot more than what I have with this pregnancy. I spoke to a midwife quite, quite a lot more and was given quite a lot of information through leaflets and, and consultations and I went to antenatal classes as well. For me and my ex-husband and myself, so I was never away from [Hospital], just because I wanted’ it was my first baby and I wanted to know what I was going in for [of course] but nothing prepares you for it really, I don’t think so [laughs].

So, if you think about the information that you’d wanted when you were pregnant the first time, what, what did you want to know?

I can’t remember there being anything specific that I wanted to know, I mean, I think I did what most sort of middle class women do when they get pregnant, which is buy a book and then read it, and then, you know… And I had a, I have a book from – och, one of the big London hospitals, I think it’s published by, and it goes through it week by week and I, I looked at it, you know, every week and sort of checked what was going on. I don’t think I actually read the section on birth. One of my friends who had a baby said not to read it until closer to the time, but I went to ante-natal classes as well, but I don’t think I actually felt that there was anything in particular that I wanted to know. And partly as well, because as soon as you get pregnant, people who have got children start telling you their stories and so, often you have more information than you really need.

And what kind of delivery had you wanted when you were expecting your son?

A vaginal birth. I was very disappointed that I didn’t achieve that. I didn’t feel a sense of achievement, um, having a’ I didn’t plan- I didn’t even think of, about a section in that I was going to have one. So it was a bit of a shock and, when I did have one.

Could you explain why you hadn’t thought about it? Was it just something that didn’t even enter your mind?

I just ‘ I didn’t even think, oh, you know, I thought ‘I’ll have a natural birth. I didn’t, I didn’t’ I don’t know why I didn’t think of it but it, it did disappoint me quite a bit, not having one.

So you don’t remember them talking about the section in ante-natal classes?

They did, but I didn’t take it in because I just thought ‘oh, not me, I’ll not have a section’, you know. I don’t know why. I knew that there was risks that I could have a section, but because the pregnancy went so well, I thought no, everything’s going to go’ probably just naivety, I think.

Maybe it was because you just, you were focusing on getting on further with that pregnancy’?

Yeah, I think as well with your first’ a lot’ you know, you’re told that you’re going to have a beautiful baby and it’s going to be thrown up onto your chest and, you know, you’re going to breastfeed just like that’ I mean, it’s, it’s nothing like that at all, you know, it’s quite hard work [laughs].

You said you wanted natural and no interventions and a water birth? If you can tell me how you came to that decision?

Mm’ The water birth I think because I’d- I’d heard somewhere in my past that the babies coming from a liquid environment and into another environment, that for them it was, the transitional was good if they were coming through water, type of thing. ‘And that it’s relaxing for the mum and baby, that it’s a case as well of, I don’t know because I’ve since found out that, you know, out of water it could have been the same but you bring the baby up and onto you and everything. It just, I don’t know, something about it just, something that I’d heard in my past about it stayed with me. I really thought it sounded ideal for the baby and mum.

And what about the naturalness?

The naturalness of it, that’s just me all round. That’s me in every aspect really, you know, try and give baby organic feed, breastfeed, all the way down the line, sort of’

‘so part of a wider philosophy really, in what’s best for the baby?

Yeah, yeah. And for me [laughs] and for my family.

I didn’t, I never went into labour, it was ridiculous. I, I was induced after-, at forty-two weeks and basically, after trying the-, well, they started off with the pessaries and then I was on the drip, I can’t remember the substance in the drip, but I’m sure you know. And it started off on a Wednesday afternoon, and by Friday afternoon, we opted for’ the caesarean, emergency caesarean because I- my cervix hadn’t even softened, apparently, never mind’ dilated. And, can I add that the same thing happened to my two sisters, exactly the same thing. They were induced and then they were their cervix didn’t dilate and so they had emergency caesareans, but I thought I’d give it a try, you know, didn’t think maybe, maybe I’d be different.

So this happened to your sisters before you?

Yeah

So you kind of in the back of your mind had thought this was something that might happen?

Yeah ‘yeah, I think they were, yeah.

Oh right.

But I wanted to go for it anyway.

And was this a planned pregnancy, your son?

Yeah.

And had you had any complications when you were pregnant?

No, with the first pregnancy, nothing at all, absolutely nothing; just a little bit of water retention, but’ no vomiting, nothing.

And had you an idea in your mind about how you wanted to deliver your first baby?

I would have liked to have been, to have had a water birth, to have had a natural birth; to have been the first in the family to have achieved one really [laughs]. But yeah’ it wasn’t to be.

And do you remember the kind of information that you’d looked for in your first pregnancy? About, you know, knowing in the back of your mind that your sisters had this problem, had you specifically sought any information about sections?

Oh, gosh, no, no I didn’t really, not, not that much about sections, but I certainly’ I was working at home at the time and I just read up on, on the whole pregnancy and childbirth and labour, and I just read up it – everything and any books I could get my hands on and got. Got books from the library and I did, I did read a little bit of caesarean but I really did think that maybe I’d be the one who broke the chain [laughs].

And what was the information like that you got? Did you, did you get all the information that you wanted, do you think?

Yeah, I got loads. I mean, I bought about two or three books, I went on the internet and, I don’t know’ theres a baby centre website that I, I got a lot of information from and I obviously spoke to my midwife, who I got on really well with. I went to parentcraft classes, also had NCT antenatal classes with my husband.

Well, it was planned, completely and I didn’t go into labour at all. It was planned, because she was breech, and she was breech right the way through my pregnancy, so it was an elective caesarean, I hadn’t gone into labour at all, and it was about eight days from the due date, eight days early.

So, how did you feel about the fact that you knew that you were having a planned section?

Apprehensive, I think, probably, a good word to use; a bit disappointed because I was the only person, I think, that I knew of that had had an elective caesarean, but also relieved I think, to know exactly when your child’s going to be born. It’s quite, that’s quite nice, quite nice to know, but yeah, and I was very scared because obviously the risks are, are pointed out to you and the complications. I was given a choice, but, it you can call it a choice, it was, ‘We don’t turn. We would strongly advise you not to try for a natural delivery as your child is breech. We would strongly recommend an elective caesarean. We do not do’, sorry, I can’t remember the actual proper name for it when they actually turn, try and turn the baby. They didn’t perform that procedure at that hospital at that time, and I was told that if I wanted that, I’d have to basically go elsewhere for that.

And how do you feel about that?

Because I wasn’t, because I was quite happy at that time with an elective caesarean because I thought that’s the safest option. I’d read about turning the baby and I realised there were some risks involved. No-one could tell me why she was breech, you know, I’d had a couple of scans and people, and they couldn’t say why she was breech and I’d, and I’d read also that there can be complications. They could even turn the baby and then the baby can turn back again, and there can be a low-lying placenta, the placenta can get caught, so I’d made the decision that a elective caesarean was best for my daughter and myself, and so I was quite happy, but I think if had I not been, it would have been very hard for me to go elsewhere, it would have made the decision very hard, because they weren’t very forthcoming with other options.

I was very keen to have a water birth with just gas and air, a natural birth in the hospital, you know, skin to skin, all that sort of thing. So I had quite a clear idea of what I wanted.

And do you remember if you made a birth plan with that pregnancy?

Yes, I did.

And was that the kind of thing you were talking about earlier, about skin to skin and keeping it it natural. Was there anything else that was really important to you?

[laughing] I didn’t want an epidural, which was’ I was really quite against that, but at, you know, at the time

Why was that, do you think?

I think I was worried about having an injection into the spine and the possible after-effects of it, the possibility of being paralysed, or, you know, difficulty walking. I just wanted to have the most natural birth that I could and it, unfortunately was’ didn’t happen that way. And also, I didn’t want to be in hospital long. I, I wasn’t actually in hospital very long, but I didn’t want to be in there for days and days and days, which I’ve heard some people have been. And also the recovery period, because it’s six weeks and you can’t drive, and so it was all, all that sort of’ And it’s just, wasn’t natural, I suppose. And it’s an operation, which has its own possible complications.

And was the birth in any way like you thought it was going to be?

No, because I thought I’d spend more time at home, and I’d gone to [hesitation] yoga classes and learned about different positions and breathing and all that sort of thing, and none of that came into play at all really and it was far more hospital based because I had to go in and be induced.

I mean, I think, I think the midwives, the community midwives probably asked me about the birth plan and did I have one, but I think because I hadn’t’ I didn’t have any strong feelings about’ I think because I didn’t have any strong feelings about it, I felt that it wasn’t actually a particularly big decision, because I wasn’t, you know, I wasn’t one of these people who sort of said, ‘Oh, no, I definitely want to have a natural delivery and I’m not going to have an epidural and I’m not going to have any, you know, pain relief, I’m just going to breathe through it. I mean, I wasn’t, I wasn’t like that at all. I think my, my kind of feeling about it was that I wanted to, you know, I wanted to have what I think most people want to have, which is a natural delivery without having to have intervention and without having to have sort of lots of pain relief and things like that, but then everyone wants that, everyone wants to be able to just sort of pop the baby out in four hours, but I think at the same time, I was kind of thinking, ‘Well, if it doesn’t work that way then, you know, then it doesn’t work that way.

I was always very much one of these people that I didn’t write a birth plan, I would go along with what was going to be best for the health of myself and the baby, so’ Although in an ideal’ I knew that in an ideal world I wanted all the sort of natural birth and, you know, no pain relief and everything, but I didn’t write that down because I thought that’s not being realistic, so’