I don’t have to turn my stimulator off at night, some people have stimulators where they, they, they can alter their stimulators butpeople that have stimulators that are, they don’t turn them offthe only time you would turn off a stimulator is, is if you were in hospital with the nurse or the person that was, examining you, you know, to see how you are with a stimulator.Like while I was in hospital they had this computer and it had keypads and, on the screen were these green arrows and you had a green arrow flashing green, green arrow left and right, and you had a green arrow that would come up green and red and you had to use your left hand first and that would test your reactions and how well you could use your fingers and you were doing it individually for each hand, andwhen they turned my stimulator off it was a massive shock to me, it quite scared me because my, like I said, my hands and my legs were shaking, my eyes, I could hardly open my eyes and without that stimulator my, in my brain I would belike a vegetable really, so I’m totally reliant on my stimulator.

I don’t take many pills and the object of the operation was also, the main thing was to stop my shaking which they achieved, but it was also to limit the amount of pills I was taking because I felt like, if you shook me I’d rattle, as I was taking so many pills and I’ve always been against taking drugs and I only take drugs when I really have to take drugs because I think drugs, like you can get addicted to them that is a problem sometimes, if you take a certain amount of drugs you become reliant on drugs andit can be a vicious circle, and once you start taking lots of drugs people get hooked on them, but I was one, lucky, in that I only take what I need to take and I won’t take no more, you know?

…they said to me, Look we want to try a range of different drugs on you because we have to try, as many drugs on you without doing harm to you obviously, but as many drugs as we can on you to see if anything’s going to work on you, and then if it doesn’t further on down the line, we’ll give you an operation

Was there any, ever a point where you thought no way I’m not going to do this’?

I would say that when I was beingpushed down to the theatre I was scared, really scared and, I was thinking about my life because, I knew there was a chance that I could lose my life butI was in such a state with my legs and my hands that, in a way, this sounds silly but, I don’t think I had a lot to lose, you know, people would say, like some people would say to me, How, I wouldn’t have gone for that operation, I wouldn’t have had brain surgeryBut if those people were robbed of the use of their legs and their hands, and their life was so changed from the life they had previously then I think they, they would have the operation, but until you’re put into that position you don’t fully appreciate what you would do, you know, and that, and that, and I believe anybody out there in my situation would have had the surgery, you know, and.

…then they took me into the operating theatre and, like parts of the operation are sketchy because I was in and out of consciousness, because I had to be conscious for a certain part of the operation because they wanted to know that what they were doing inside my brain was the right sort of parts that they were, operating on.And, it was just amazing because my hands were, were all crimpled up and I couldn’t open my hands and for eighteen months I was unable to write or do anything with my hands and after they , when they started tweaking my brain around I could open my hands and open my fingers and, I couldn’t believe it.And like my shakes they stopped, like one minute I was shaking like a leaf and then when they were putting these electrodes into me and when they turned them on my shakes stopped and, it was like a, I felt like the Six Million Dollar Man with all the electronics in me, and, that, I can’t explain what that did for me because although I’ve tried to keep a positive outlook on things there are times when you get seriously down about things, you can’t be happy all the time but I’m a pretty happy-go-lucky sort of person anyway, butthat was fantastic, it felt like I had a new body andI said to [Professor A] after the operation if he’d have been a girl I’d have given him a snog, I was that happy and overjoyed…

…Yeah when they turned the stimulator on the interesting thing that I noticed was I felt this burst of energy go through me, it was like, I felt so much more awake, like when I was awake before the operation it was like a tired sort of wakingness, if that makes sense, butI had a, like a zest, a zest of life pumped through me and one of the things I didn’t mention was like, although I said I could open up my hands I couldn’t, they asked me to lift my feet and I could lift up my feet and move my feet around, and I struggled to have the power to do that andthat, that was really amazing to me because for eighteen months I was just struggling around with walking sticks, you know?

I was that happy and overjoyed, andafter my operation, after the first four days they said that, I could get out and have a walk so one of the nurses hold me and steadied me and like it was just incredible because, I was, before my operation I was walking on, I was on two walking sticks and I was hardly moving and, if I’d have carried on the way I was without the operation I can honestly say, and they told me, I wouldn’t have been walking I would have been in a wheelchair so, when I was walking up towards the end of the ward my mum and dad came in and my mum, her eyes were watering because she was so stunned seeing me walking with, without walking sticks andI can’t explain the feeling that I felt but it was like being born again and it was really fantastic and, like when you always had the use of your legs sometimes in life you take it for granted that you can do the things that you can do, but when those things are taken away it, it’s a real reality check and it makes you appreciate just how lucky you are that, in what you’ve got in life, you know?