So, I started gaining followers and, to be honest, I was a bit confused. I was like ‘Why are they following me? I’m really not that interesting but, ok!’ And I guess it was just like understanding what people wanted to see on my page and I guess people just really enjoyed just that I was living unapologetically and just doing what I wanted to do and that’s what people enjoyed most. So, from that, I was like ‘Right, let’s start invading some more spaces [laughs]. Where would I want to see myself if I was a younger me that I don’t see myself in now?’ And I guess you’ve got your one public influencer, who’s doing quite great and is getting an MBE this year, but then I was like ‘Oh we do need … we don’t really have a representation in these spaces who’s from the UK, I guess, who is black, who is a female and who has burns.’ And I guess that’s like a triple whammy, isn’t it? I’m fighting against all three of those! Well, I guess I should say, I guess that’s my like … USP. But I guess in some ways, if you look at it, it’s a bit of a hindrance. So, it just means that I’ve just got to work three times as hard as your average person to do what I want to do, get seen and invade some spaces. So I … yeah, I’ve … what I’ve told myself is um … to get into those spaces I’ve literally just got to open up a bit and stop being scared. I feel like there’s points where I’m really into it and I feel myself going back in time into, like, my old self where I used to literally have a fear of everything. And, you know what? I still do but what’s the worst that can happen? We’ve been in lockdown for two years, our life has been on hold, and we’ve had zero freedom, so I’ve told myself ‘If you want to do it, just get up and do it.’

And how long do you think it took you to get to that kind of mindset?

Oh God, it took me ages. Well, I’d say it started college time? Yeah, I’d say it started around college because my friends were great characters and they were always like, they’d say what’s on their mind, they’d just throw it out there and I guess I kind of took that from them and adapted it to my life and so, like, we used to do what teenagers do, we’d go to parties, we’d go clubbing, we’d go down the pub, we’d dress up on a Friday night and I guess that seeing them do it and wearing their best clothes, getting glammed up, and seeing them look amazing, I was like “Well, why can’t I do that?” But like, “What’s wrong with me?” They were like “Are you coming out?” I’m like “Yeah, course I am. Where are we going?”.

So, I kind of just grew up with the club and the kids at the club, and so I was kind of aware that there were other people that looked like me, and I wasn’t the only one for that one week a year when I got to go to club. And it’s such an enjoyable, exciting experience, and like, I think you kind of just immediately click. Like, with the kids that go to club, we’re all from different backgrounds, different ethnicities, different parts of the country but, because we’ve got that one thing in common, our scars, we just kind of like, I don’t know what it is, we just clicked.

But I guess going to club year after year, that really helped me to build my confidence and I found, I realised like, looking back, I had a fear of absolutely everything, even though I wanted to do like, I wanted to be a kid and be carefree, I was just still fearful of literally everything. And so, going to club, that really helped me to face those head-on. Like spiders, heights, people, shorts, wearing a swimsuit, climbing, getting wet, swimming, you name it. I had anything and everything you think of, I was scared of it. And I guess meeting the kids and just really bonding and seeing them overcome their fear and us doing it together, it really kind of like molds you as a person. And, yeah, it’s great.

I used to try and write with this hand, but he’d always pick on it and some other people, so I’d just write with my left hand and then my teacher, and that’s, I think that’s also why they kept me back because my writing wasn’t improving. Then one day the teacher came along and was like “Right, Raiche try something else.” So, she took the pen out of this hand and put it in this hand, and she went “Write out that sentence” and I wrote it and it was like as neat as anything and she went “See, you’ve just got to try some new things sometimes and just see how it works.” And then, after that, she would never let me write with the pen in this hand. She went “Raiche” and then she’d take the pen out and she’d put it in this hand and then, yeah, so, after that I was never kept back, my handwriting really improved. And I guess it always takes that one person, or the one teacher or support assistant to just really, like, push you in the right direction and just, like, be on your case, and just like “Raiche” to make things a little bit better.

And then people always asked me questions, so I was like “Oh God! What do I say? What do I do?” Yeah, and then people would always bully me and be like “Oh, why do you have to wear a hat? We can’t wear a hat … da, da, da, da, da”. “Why are you always late? We can’t wear a jumper. Why does she get all this special treatment?” And so, I was always kind of like centre of attention just for doing just normal things, but I always got that special attention that everybody else wanted, so it was just a bit awkward. And I guess, obviously, there’s the bullying that wasn’t, that didn’t make it easy either and then the temperature thing where I was always cold and by that time I was always falling over in the playground, nurses room, so yeah, so I felt like I missed part of schooling from having surgeries but I also missed out because of the bullying that held me back a bit and then I was always like, hurting myself by accident, tripping over or what not, so I missed out on some playtime.

It’s not something that happens overnight, like accepting how you feel and the way you look, and especially when you’ve got media and celebrities looking a type of way and everyone thinking that’s the norm and that’s how you should look and anything different isn’t right and it’s just weird or you’re ugly or evil according to these horror movies where you only see burned people. Yeah, it’s definitely a journey. I think now, in the space that I am, I think I look fricking amazing!

I go out with no make-up on whatsoever and I literally do not care what people say, but I’m just in love with the way my skin looks, like the different colours, the different tones, the textures, the shapes. I’ve got the rarest diamonds in the world on my shoulder and other bits of skin graft that creates different textures and like, just skin in general, it is just so amazing what it can do and how it looks like and how it changes like different weathers. In the sun you go a bit more gold, and you go a little bit pale in the winter but depending on preference you might love a bit of sun or more.

I don’t know, I’ve just learnt, I guess, where I’ve learnt to be loved and fall in love, I’ve kind of learnt to love myself and I guess I’ve always appreciated the way I look because I always took care of my teeth and my skin and my eyelashes, but it’s literally just taking a step back and just really appreciating yourself by looking at a photo, like whether you’re in your favourite outfit or if there’s certain colours or if your make-up looks amazing or if you’ve got no make-up, just appreciating like the features that you have. Yeah, maybe I don’t look like the supermodels on the runway but one day someone that looks like me will be rocking their stuff on that runway, if it’s me, or of its someone else.

Yeah. So, I missed a lot of education when I was younger, yeah, see I don’t remember much of school, but I always remember when I went in everyone was excited. When I say everyone, the ones that I actually spoke to and the teachers. And so, yeah I don’t, school, throwback to when I was really young, like, reception, primary school, because I was always in hospital, I feel like I wasn’t there much. And when I was there, I knew I was behind because I’d always have, like, someone with me, like a support teacher and I remember I missed so much school one year they kept me behind a year, and I got to meet a whole another group of friends.

So, I was held back a year and then I was then put back into the year that I was meant to be in, so that it would still work out for the rest of the school year. I guess I just had extra work when I was kept back a year.

But the funny thing is about scars is when you have them for such a long time you kind of get used to the way they look and how they are in your body and then, when it changes, you’re like “Oh, ok, that’s different!”. And then, it’s really weird because it’s only scar compared to like, the rest of the scars combined on your body and it’s such a small thing but I was like “Oh, it’s a big scar, oh my God!” I was like “I miss the last one, it was just a straight line!”. But yeah, I guess it’s like a weird psychological thing where you just get attached to your scar. Yeah, I don’t even notice this one anymore.

So, I’ve always got to be prepared for at least one person to say something because a lot of people go through that motto that it’s rude to stare, but it’s not always the case, because I do find myself staring at other people, whether they’re good-looking or they’ve got a difference, or I love their outfit. And when people stared at me, I never really thought it was always negative I just thought “Jeez! My outfit must be wicked today!” or “They really like my lipstick” or yeah, my makeup. I never initially thought all the time that they were staring at my burns, especially when I wore my best outfits or felt really good with the way I looked, or I’d done something different with my eyeliner. I always thought it was that.

Relationship-wise, because I never really saw anybody that looked like me have a relationship or have the happy ending, I wrote it off for myself quite early on. And so, when people did show interest in me I kind of didn’t really see it being a relationship or anything further because they could always do better. Like, why would they settle for me if they can go get the… that really hot chick over there. It just didn’t make sense and I just couldn’t understand it.

I guess, as well, it’s coping mechanisms. You learn to be less emotional and only, like really open up with yourself by yourself on your own and not really cry or be affectionate with other people. Like, yeah… So that was a tricky one… but once I started opening up and accepting that I can be loved, and I can have the fairy tale too and I can create my own… I can have a future, just like everybody else, that’s when I was like ‘Ok, right.’

Having burns definitely impacts my daily life because I can’t just get up out of bed and go, especially when it’s really cold! So, how does it impact my daily life? So, in the mornings I have to shower, and I have to cream otherwise my skin gets really sore and that’ll take about anywhere from half hour to 45 minutes and then I’ll have to get my partner to cream my back because I actually can’t reach it because of the burns and scars, and my movement is quite restricted. Then after that session I’ll probably come down, have a cup of tea, log on and do some work from home.

I always used to fall over and bang my legs and stuff when they were healing because I had the worst balance in the world. It doesn’t help where I’ve got, like, no toes on one foot, so that doesn’t help with balance. And then, I’ve only got one ear and apparently that completely throws you off and all! So, I was forever falling over, creating new injuries and new scars to add to my collection.

Also with shoes, because I don’t have toes on one foot, for example one foot is a size 8 and the other’s a size five so that’s a nightmare in itself. I’ve always got to wear two pairs of socks on my little foot.

So, I was in a house fire when I was 18 months old and from that I received 70% burns to my face and body. I lost a few fingers, a few toes and I lost an ear and I’ve had, like, multiple skin grafts. I actually lost all my hair, so this is a really good disguise. [laughs] And, yeah, from that, I had round-clock care in hospital, numerous surgeries, I can’t tell you how many, there’s been that much. Yeah, so I’ve had to go back quite often for reconstructive surgeries, skin grafts. You name it, I’ve probably had it. Fat transfusions to help stop the skin deteriorating, yeah, that’s that. You know what? I feel like I can never answer that question fully because I was so young. I was 18 months, compared to there’s other people who remember everything fully and their family have been so open about it, so they know every little detail, yeah. I only really know my story from what other people tell me.

I always have to wear extra socks in my shoes and especially in the summer, it just gets really hot and irritable, or when my feet are really cold, they go numb so I can’t actually feel them, or they just get really sore and they often rubbed on my, like, boots and the skin would always deteriorate. So, what my surgeons suggested as a temporary fix instead of like a surgery and a skin graft on my foot, and more time out, he was like “Oh why don’t you just have a fat transplant, so it’s basically lipo”. And I was like “Sold!” and he said he’ll take the fat from my tummy area and inject it into my foot, and it should last a few months, might get about a year out of it. I was like “Yeah, let’s give it a go, see how it goes, what’s the worst that can happen? I’ve had a lot worse surgeries.” So, I went in for that and then also my face pulled quite a lot because I didn’t have face surgery since I was little, and so before lockdown I had, sounds really awful, it’s called flap surgery. I was like “Very creative!” So, they literally like, where the skin on my neck was tight, it was pulling down on my eye so I couldn’t actually shut my eyes and sleep and I was always dribbling. I still dribble and I still sleep with my eyes open because of the skin graft on my face, but not as bad now, I can blink and my eyes actually shut, and I don’t dribble my food when I eat it. So, I had that surgery and that took a while to heal.