How would you feel if God forbid, you got Covid again?
 
I honestly, I think I would be quite shocked. I know people are getting it again, but for some reason I think I’ve just kind of, I don’t think I’m invincible but I’ve just kind of got this sort of sixth sense that I’m immune to it, so I will be quite shocked. And I am also double vaccinated and, though I mean I just did a funeral of somebody who was 9, 96. Everyone said, “Well he was 96” but he was in perfectly good health until he got Covid, and he was triple vaccinated. So, the danger hasn’t gone away.
 
Am I afraid of catching Covid again? I’m not so much, I’m convinced I’m probably immune. And I’m not taking risks, but I’m convinced I’m probably immune. But at the same time, it’s almost irrelevant because I’m not just thinking about myself, I’m thinking about my family and my public role and for that reason I think I would still be very cautious. So, I think we’re still being quite cautious. But I think it, having government guidelines helped us all know that this is the baseline of what we have to do. Having more freedom in some ways is more challenging, because we have to find a balance.

When I got Covid, I got a real sense of community from my own congregation and wider community. So many people got in touch with good wishes. So many people contacted me to say, “I know you’re very hard working, please rest. We need you in one piece, it’s more important that you be well. Don’t overdo it, don’t rush yourself, don’t worry, we’ll cope, whatever.”

I’ve got Covid, I am struggling slightly to breathe. You know, can I get an oxygen monitor. At least I’ll know if I have to go into hospital, and they said “Well, we can do better than that. We would recommend that you borrow an oxygen machine. You need a prescription from your doctor.” I called my doctor, I explained it and they said that’s a great idea. Gave me a prescription, no problem. Yes, it’s a private prescription, yeah, I think it was a private prescription.

But my family were very good, they stepped up, they all helped out with things. I basically stayed out of the way. I think on occasions I did venture out of my bedroom, and I was basically just it was just basically a nuisance because I had no energy and so I was sort of out of it and like I would say, “Is someone doing the dishes?” And they’d be like, “How do you think we’ve been managing for the past two weeks? Don’t worry” Or whatever it was, so I think, I think it was a very strange experience. I was sort of operating at a different pace from everyone else. But yeah, it was just very strange being out of action, but I just had no energy.

We have to follow the rules because we have to be seen to follow the rules, and we don’t actually have to sit down and decide how vulnerable we feel. When things relaxed in whenever it was, July or August it was actually quite traumatic for us, because we suddenly had to say to ourselves, okay, how far are we going to take this now? Because we don’t have to do all these things, but actually we’ve got really used to it, because we’ve had to do all kind of risk assessments and we’ve been on the front lines of, when we have had Covid cases and we’ve had to go speak to Public Health England and bodies we are we are all too aware of the risks, and actually, are we comfortable going to indoor gatherings? Do we feel like we shouldn’t be wearing masks? Are we comfortable having people in our home? Are we comfortable with all these things? And I think we probably have almost fluctuated perhaps between extremes of feeling that, just because the government wants the economy to open doesn’t mean, for us, it sort of from a religious perspective it’s always been about the threat to life. You know, why are we allowed to close our synagogues, denying people the most basic religious practices, because of threat to life. So just because the government decides it’s more important for the economy to reopen or schools to reopen, doesn’t mean that the threat to life has receded, in which case we would have a religious duty to take precautions.

I did not manage to isolate from my family. I’m not sure I really even tried. I mean I was basically in my room the whole time, but you know. I didn’t sort of, have my own bathroom or kind of physically isolated from people, but nobody else caught it from me as far as we know.

I normally get flu for maybe a couple of days every year and I’ll be sort of, lie in bed for a day or two and basically recover. But I would just have terrible fatigue, that I could barely sort of get up in the morning. I was waking up around, I’m normally an early riser. I was waking up around midday, I was just about managing to stay awake for a couple of hours and I was just completely exhausted. No energy, lethargic, not a huge appetite. I basically stayed in my room pretty much. I think I just, we’ve got a rocking chair, I just about made it to the rocking chair. But and I thought, I think someone said, “Maybe you’ve Covid.” But they weren’t really testing at the time, and they were just telling you to stay at home until you got over it.

Whatever the reasons, the probable reason that the community that I minister to was hit quite hard is because we are very sociable. We gather together for, you know, life cycle events, we gather together every Friday night. People go to their parents and grandparents, so the very strength of being a close-knit community is a terrible weakness when it comes to infectious diseases. The things that mark us out like when there’s a bereavement people gather, and they have a Shiva service in someone’s home, and it’s very comforting to have your friends come round to your home, and it’s built into, and for many people that’s the last bastion of their Jewish tradition. That they might do nothing else, but they have a bereavement, they’ll do it properly. Gathering for Passover Seders together is such an integral part of Jewish life. Friday night dinners, community events, daily prayer services, people saying Kaddish for those who are bereaved. We were denied all of these things for close to 18 months. People who were in hospital were denied pastoral care and visits, and family support. People who were bereaved had almost a triple whammy.

I think it hit me about halfway through my period of confinement, that this is a disease that many people are dying from. And I felt very mortal, is that the word, what do they call it? Confronting your mortality, which has all kinds of both psychological and religious implications. I think it’s probably one of the few times in my life I’ve really felt quite afraid. I only told my wife this afterwards, but I contacted my sister and said, you know, in case you ever need it, here’s where my life insurance policies are. So, I was really like, because I thought, you know we’re hearing of people who are dying from Covid who are young and healthy so thank, thankfully that wasn’t the case and I bounced back from it.

The other thing we didn’t even talk about or just mention is that, because it was in the news today is this whole business of test and trace and its effectiveness. The NHS staff when I had to go into hospital were wonderful. The people on the phone were next to useless. Even the Covid line. I remember one time, one of our kids had tested positive; it was quite early on. We called three different times and got three different answers about when the isolation period was. And then called Public Health England because as a place of worship we had to speak to them, and they gave us a completely different answer as well, and it was like the left hand didn’t know what the right hand was doing. And generally speaking, it was pretty much you called NHS 111 or later 119, and basically if you, if you could manage the symptoms yourself, that was pretty much it. Now they’ve got more welfare in place, but it was pretty much “right, are you okay, you’re not dying so you know, just stay at home.” Which you know, doesn’t help your anxieties.

One of the things that really brought it home for us is that normally on a Jewish festival we don’t do any kind of work so, it would be almost unheard of to, for an orthodox Jew to travel unless it’s an emergency. And there is a dispensation which is very rarely used, if you have to do a burial you can do it on the second day of, the holiday, which happens sometimes in America. It’s almost unheard of in this country, it just doesn’t happen and there was such a backlog of burials taking place in our community. They were actually, they were actually using every day available to them. That’s how frightening it was. And I, I we’ve never, as a family or in my professional life, I don’t think we’d ever planned for something like this. The notion that we would, you know, go into a lockdown and be at home and our place of worship would be closed and our place of work would be closed and wouldn’t be able to do pastoral work which is so central to my role as a minister. And I actually did I, I did a series of interviews with different people, and I spoke to different people, and I said, you know, did you ever imagine. So, it was interesting because people in the social care sector said, well, we do have exercises for what to do if there’s a, you know an outbreak of infectious disease, but never really on this scale.