About five years ago, maybe five and a half because it was Autumn, I was at somebody’s dinner table having dinner with some friends. My husband was there. And the subject of a friend, whom I didn’t know but have since become friendly with, a man who’s now in his late sixties who had kidney failure. And had an organ from his brother, which had gone wrong after a few years. And he was now back on dialysis, and blind and had diabetes.

The subject of this person was raised. And we chatted about it. People were saying how very sad it was. And how, at his age, and Australian, living in this country, perhaps he wasn’t going to get much priority in terms of a second transplant, and that he was pretty desperate.

And then I thought, well I wonder, because I didn’t know whether people could give anonymously, I wonder if you couldn’t get a kidney from any well-wisher And then I thought, Well, me for example I thought if I were in his position, obviously I’d be very pleased if somebody, a friend or somebody unknown, were to offer me a kidney.

So then I said, I think I’ll offer a kidney, either to [friend’s name] this Australian, or anybody else. So my husband looked a bit surprised, and we talked about it a bit informally over the table, perhaps with a few jokes. And then later, back in [place name], talked about it more seriously. And I asked my two children, who were then in their early twenties or mid-twenties, what they thought about it. And after the surprise they said, Yes, of course, you must. You do that if you think that’s a good idea and if it turns out that the risks are low to your own health

By and large I would say, well certainly I would completely say that you have a sense of satisfaction for doing it. Not every minute of the day, I mean I hardly ever think about it now. But when I do think about it, I think Oh good You know, someone’s got a life back And my life hasn’t had much of a dent as a consequence. So I’m glad, I’m glad I did. And I certainly would encourage anybody else to do so.

Now another thing which I think is very important is who funds the time you take off work. And I said in [hospital name], I want the recipients PCT [National Health Service] to fund this because I’m going to have to have time off teaching. I’m not going to approach [place name] education. Why should they? There’s nothing in it for them, but there is something in it for the health service because the savings in dialysis costs are huge. Everybody off dialysis is a tremendous saving. Years and years of savings, apart from the first year when the cost of surgery and post-op care I think equals the cost of a year’s dialysis. But after that, it’s gain for the health authority.

And I said, I’m determined not to approach [place name] education authority. I’m not going to take time off unpaid. I can’t afford to, and please will you sort this out And I said it quite bluntly. No funding for my supply teacher cover, no kidney. You deal with that

And I think it was unusual for somebody to make that sort of demand because I think, in a family situation, there’s such an emotional pressure on families to save somebody’s life, they say, Just take my kidney. I don’t care if I mortgage my house, you know, just save my child’s life or my husband, or whatever it is. But I wasn’t in that position. I was thinking about myself and other anonymous donors, who I think have a right to have their expenses paid. And actually it comes on the NHS website that expenses should be paid by the health authority. But I put it rather bluntly, No funding for my supply teacher cover, no kidney And funding after evidently some negotiations was forthcoming.

From?

From the recipient, who I think was a man in [place name]. That was let slip and I think perhaps it shouldn’t have been. That hardly matters, and I don’t know him. His PCT coughed up for my supply teacher cover.

Yes. So did you get reimbursed for your travel costs to and from?

Yes. I hadn’t been very sharp really with things like how much it cost to go by car several times or by train. I hadn’t kept my train tickets but we made a list of, I can’t remember what it came to. It didn’t come to thousands certainly, but I think it came to low hundreds of what my travelling expenses had been. And I hadn’t had to take time off school. No that’s not true. I did take one day off school, for a day’s tests that were unavoidable. But otherwise, going to [hospital name] I managed after school for an afternoon or during half term or school holidays. So I managed to work that into holiday time.

But I’d like anybody listening to this, who’s considering being an anonymous [donor], to make sure that they do everything they can. PCT’s aren’t going to exist anymore, but that the National Health pays their expenses because there’s no other body that should.

Two of my closest friends, who were school friends, were pretty unpleasant with me about it. And I’ve talked to other anonymous donors, who’ve had a range of reactions from their friends. Some of them very supportive, and saying Good for you, go and do it if you want to And others who were very tight lipped and disapproving, using words like, Wrong it was, Wrong to do it

But when I pressed for why it was wrong, no coherent explanation. And other people have suggested that some people feel challenged by that and aren’t very happy to be challenged, and react with resentment. And I can think of no other explanation in the case of two school friends.

But other school friends, because I still have several school friends who are amongst my best friends, have been very friendly and nice. So it hasn’t had, you know, I haven’t, and amongst the people I was working with, I was working full time then as a teacher, I’ve since retired, I didn’t get any negative reactions.

After the dinner you came back and you discussed it with your daughters and your husband?

Yes.

What were their reactions?

Well, it was a surprise to think that something that hadn’t happened before, which looked like a threat to me, might be in the offing. But, after I’d investigated what the risk was, and I think at that time, and possibly still there hasn’t been a death from a live donor because you’re so carefully screened. I had a fabulous range of MOT tests, and I’ve come out very healthy. And they wouldn’t have had me otherwise.

So I think they then realised that it would just be Mum having an operation and, after a few weeks, back to normal. Because in our bodies we’ve got two eyes and two kidneys, and in each case we can get by with one without any detriment to our health. And I haven’t had any complications.