Be as understanding and as flexible as you can because it’s certainly when it’s your child, as a parent, when it’s your child you’d take that injury any day of the week over your child having it. Any parent would. But I think that you yourself are sad and upset that your child has experienced this. So, to have an employer saying “Oh well” you know “I can lend you half an hour” or anything like that would be a disaster. You need to be as understanding as possible because yes, your child has this injury but the trauma as a parent that you’re feeling on behalf of your child and, you know, even though I wasn’t even there, or you know accidents are called accidents for a reason but that doesn’t stop you feeling guilty about them. So, for an employer not to be understanding is just a no go. You need to be asked “Are you ok?” Because even though it’s happened to your child, you’re doing the sorting out of the appointments and, you know, “I need to take that time off work.” Niamh missing a half hour of school – not being rude – at that age, she wasn’t going to fail her GCSEs, do you know what I mean? But for me, not being able to go to work was an inconvenience to my work. But it wasn’t a problem from start to finish and that is how people need to act. Because nobody chooses to be in these situations and it’s about clubbing together and sticking together when you do find yourself in that situation. So, flexibility and understanding is key when it comes to, certainly your children but, yeah, yourself.

Yeah, but I think yeah, the advice I think I’d give is the support is key because when any trauma happens to you, it has a knock-on effect. So, one negative act has a huge effect on you. So, that simple “Yeah, get off and go to your appointment, good luck, I’ll see you when you get back.” That’s huge. That’s absolutely huge, because it is a positive action on what is a negative situation. But to add more negativity is just not fair. It’s, you know, the thing is so, the burn is on the surface, it’s what’s going on in here and in here, and that’s the bit that people don’t necessarily see or understand or respect. And you need to be doing all of those things. Because your mind is whirling on many an occasion and yeah, support is key throughout any of those appointments and, you know, even though you need to go to these appointments you still feel guilty for letting people down and their understanding on that situation is huge, it’s massive. And that, yeah, support, absolute support would be my advice to any employer of somebody in that situation.

I think I must have been off on the Tuesday anyway, when I took her to A&E, our local A&E, and then I had to take the whole of the Wednesday off because, by the time we got to our local town to get to the train station, got the train down there, had the appointment, didn’t know how long we were going to be, obviously, then got the train back, it was, like, mid-afternoon. So, that was most of my working day gone. And then, I had to take a day off the following fortnight to go do it all over again, and then I had to nip out occasionally for those three dressing changes that she had. But my work, not only are they my bosses, they’re my friends. They’ve grown to be very good friends of ours as a family, and they’re very family-orientated. So, it was never in question at all. So, that was good.

What did they do right?

What, my work?

Yeah.

Never questioned any of it. Never questioned any of it and, the Wednesday and the Thursday, my colleague has her days off, so I’m the only chef there on those days and I said to her “Oh my gosh, I’m SO sorry, I’ve just come back from A&E and they want to see her tomorrow” and she was like “Ok, I’ll work.” My boss was immediately like “Yeah, not a problem, we’ll give you the whole day off.” My colleague said “Yeah, fine, I’ll just work.” I said “Oh, I’ll owe you a day, I’ll owe you a day, I’ll swap” and she was like “Yeah, whatever, whatever.” So, yeah, I had to be fair, they’ve done everything right, yeah.

I was very concerned that I would potentially be judged that my child had a burn. I felt, the first thing I think I said to my local hospital and the burn’s unit was “She was on a scout camp. She was on a scout camp. I wasn’t there, I wasn’t informed.” Because, yeah, I suppose I felt like I needed to explain myself that, you know, the burn happened on a Friday, and we didn’t attend a hospital until the Tuesday. I felt I needed to defend that action. Because then I’m going in saying “Do you know, I’m really worried about this burn.” So that was definitely something on my mind that I would almost be judged that my child had a burn. How had this been allowed?

I’m not somebody that uses trains so… and it was just her and I, and was very nervous about going there and being judged in the first place. I was nervous about getting there, I was nervous about being late and missing it. Was I going to get the right platform? Was I going to get off in the right place? All those things were on my mind. So, yeah, the second time, we knew what we were doing, we knew roughly where we were going and we knew the plan of the day, kind of thing, and then to chuck a couple of nice things in there as well was just a nicer experience.

To be fair, they were actually very good and slotted us in on that first day. She wasn’t "Oh, of course, let me help you", but she did get the job done. But it was more then, the nurse herself, that was a bit like "Oh well, we don’t have any appointments." And I’m thinking ‘Well, I’m not sure what you want me to do…’ You know, 'for a 10-minute dressing change I don’t really want to travel 30 miles on a train'. So, yeah.

But I think that the breakdown in the communication there, even a letter from them [the burns specialist] to say “Our advice is this. We’ve provided …” and I’m almost sure in saying that when I gave the nurse the pack that I’d been given from the hospital and said about these dressings, and she was like “Oh right, ok” and was sort of reading about them herself. So, not necessarily come across them. But, yeah, it was the blasé attitude “Well, we don’t have the appointments.” “Well, it looks to me like it’s healing fine.” And I’m like 'Well, ok', not, you know, 'I don’t know what else to say here', sort of thing. So, a letter from them to the GP’s surgery saying like “Within reason, we insist on this treatment plan for the next fortnight until we see this patient again", or, a phone call saying “We are Dr so and so. Our recommendation is…” would be easier than a mum going in there worried about her child’s hand saying, “Yes, but”. So yeah, that, I think, would be something that would be better if it was done that way. An email, an anything, you know, just an anything to, I suppose, clarify what the worried parent is then going in and asking for.

So the next day on the Tuesday, I took her, popped her down to A&E, children’s A&E, at our local hospital and just asked the question really, because there was no pain and she said that-, the nurse there saw her, lovely lady, and said that they’re going to contact a slightly bigger hospital, children’s hospital – the burn’s centre – and speak with them. And she said "Oh, I don’t think it’ll be a problem at all" and I was like "Yeah, not a problem, I was just wanting to get it checked." And she come back and said "Actually, they want to see you. You need to go down tomorrow." And I was like ‘Whoa, ok.’ So, we made the trip, sort of half hour trip the next day, to go.

It’s the first time that, in the lives of all three of my children, that we’ve ended up at a children’s hospital and our local hospital, which is about a half hour away from here, that’s a big hospital. So, when you go in and get told by them that you’ve got to go to the children’s burn unit, you think ‘Oh Lord!’ and that, yeah, I mean I wasn’t like ‘Oh my God!’ or anything but it’s just like ‘Mm, I thought this wasn’t great.’ You know, 'I was right to take her, I was right to be nervous of this burn'.

I have to say, from the receptionist to the nurses, to the nurse that Niamh speaking of, like a children’s play person she was, to the doctor, I was mega-impressed. I mean, we had to get a train to the children’s hospital, which is like a half hour trip. So, when we went back, I think we were 10 minutes late for the first appointment and I explained, you know, “Terribly sorry, the train and then the bus” blah, blah, blah. So, when we had to go back, she made our appointment at around the same time so that we could get there. Yeah, I thought they were all amazing people. Amazing, amazing people. And you are immediately made to feel comfortable and it’s, yeah, I was super impressed, super impressed with everybody, to be honest with you.

Did it make the experience easier, with that positive environment?

Definitely, definitely. It’s the first time that, in the lives of all three of my children, that we’ve ended up at a children’s hospital and our local hospital, which is about a half hour away from here, that’s a big hospital. So, when you go in and get told by them that you’ve got to go to the Children’s Burn Unit, you think 'Oh Lord!' and that, yeah, I mean I wasn’t like 'Oh my God!' or anything but it’s just like 'Mm, I thought this wasn’t great…' You know, 'I was right to take her, I was right to be nervous of this burn'. But they just made the whole process, just comfortable. It was superb, I have to say it was superb. And actually, when you, we got off at the train station and they actually run a free bus every sort of 15 minutes or something, I think it is to run you up there. And, you know, even down to that, the bus driver was lovely. Everybody was just lovely, because you’re certainly, when you’re going to a children’s hospital, the last place any parent wants to be is in a children’s hospital with their child. And everybody just had empathy and was kind and considerate and smiley and yeah, amazing, amazing people.