My experience in the, when I actually went down to theatre, that wasn’t a very nice experience either. When I went for the anaesthetic, the anaesthetist didn’t treat me very, well he, I felt as if I was a piece of meat to be honest. He said which one is i and we’ve got to put a cross, put a mark on i which I realise they have to do to make sure they’ve got the right one. But unfortunately I was left with that, a nurse should have been with me right the way through, but I was left with two men. I was made, as I say, just to feel like a piece of meat and that, since, has given me a terrible fear of having to go through any operation since that experience. I wasn’t treated very good by the anaesthetist, but as regards the consultant, I think he’s brilliant, you know. A lot find him harsh, but he’s straight to the point and doesn’t pull any punches and that’s what I like. I would rather know than not know, cover things up, you know.

My first experience with breast cancer was in 1995. I had a letter through the door saying I had been picked up at random from so many thousand women to take part in trials for mammograms. They asked me to go for a mammogram the following Thursday. I nearly didn’t go because I’d not had any symptoms, I had not felt any lumps or anything in my breasts. The only symptoms I had had at all was getting really tired, but I put that down to going to work, looking after the family and just generally thought nothing of it. However, I went on the Thursday and had the mammogram.

I’ve actually still got the drainage tube in because I couldn’t face having more operations [laughs] to be honest and so they left that in. But unfortunately now it’s been in nine years. Just before Christmas I had a fall and after the fall the implant had started to go down. So I actually went to see the Consultant two weeks ago and I’ve got to go in a fortnight again because they are on about replacing the implant. Now I’m in two minds whether to have that done after reading information [laughs] on the internet, whether to, or have it taken out completely. I just don’t know what to do. The actual Consultant had signed me off for three years last time I went, this year. So I was really pleased about that.

I want to know whether with this one how long is it going to last. If I’m looking at having it replaced in another 15 years I’m going to be a lot older. I don’t want to be looking at that scenario really. To be honest I’ve thought about having it out completely, but my partner said for my own self esteem I ought to have it replaced. So I’m a bit confused about it at the minute. This is causing me some anxiety at the moment.

How do you think you will weigh that up? I mean, how do you feel, if you didn’t have it, how do you feel it might affect your self-esteem?

I think it will affect my self-esteem because of, having one for this long, for nine years, it’s, you know, I feel as if I’ve not lost a breast and to, and when I did lose my breast I had got that, say, what was it four weeks without a breast, I felt conscious if not Some people don’t bother and I’m not being, that I’m, I think a lot about myself or anything [laughs] but I think it just did, this made me feel so much better, probably because I was younger

So you’ve got a few weeks just to weigh out in your own mind?

Yes, yes.

And discuss it with the consultant. And if you go ahead with more surgery, would that happen quite quickly, or

I think so, yes, they are talking of doing it pretty quick, yes, but I don’t want to have extensive, I’m not bothered about having this attached to the nerve things, I’ve gone nine years with [laughs] it being numb, I can go again, yes.

Will you be happy to have a replacement?

Like the one I’ve got now, yes, yes. I’d be happy to have that again.