Interview 62
Diagnosed with advanced cervical cancer and given a poor chance of survival in 1992. External Radiotherapy followed by Internal Radiotherapy.
In 1990, she went to see her GP as she had noticed some abnormal bleeding from her vaginal area. Her doctor advised her that there was nothing to worry about and that she should just forget about it. She said that as she was only 25, she presumed that this was the way things were supposed to be. Two years later she noticed a discharge as well as the bleeding and made an appointment with another doctor. She was referred for some tests, and she and her husband were given antibiotics in the meantime in case it was due to an infection. She and her husband went away on holiday, where she found the antibiotics had no effect and that she would wake up in a pool of discharge. When back from holiday her GP referred her for a colposcopy.
During her colposcopy her consultant conducted a biopsy when he noticed an abnormality during examination. She was called in immediately after her colposcopy to discuss the results with her consultant who diagnosed her with cervical cancer. He informed her that the cancer was advanced and that they would have to act fast. She said that her whole world changed within 10 minutes. She explained that she couldn’t believe what was happening as she felt fine. She was referred for further tests and a CT scan as it was likely the cancer had spread. She explained that at this point she was in denial and had felt too numb to ask questions. When they had taken some time to absorb the diagnosis, she and her husband decided to go privately so that they could assess what her options were. They found the consultant extremely helpful and informative. She appreciated her consultant’s straight-talking attitude. A week later she went into hospital for an exploratory operation to decide the best course of action. She then underwent external radiation followed by an internal radiation treatment. She found that the external treatment didn’t really affect her until the last week, when she started to feel extremely unwell and suffered from constant diarrhoea, vomiting, and extreme weight loss. She also found the internal treatment extremely difficult to cope with and painful. She tried to maintain a positive attitude but became very low and found that it was a very isolating period as her husband and other visitors would be restricted to 30 minute visitations every 24 hours because of the levels of radiation. She was in hospital and unable to move for a period of 6 days. It was a mentally and physically exhausting time for her. She found the side effects from the treatment persisted long after the treatment finished and still has issues with diarrhoea as part of her bowel was damaged during radiation. She felt relieved to find out the cancer had gone but had also found it hard to believe.
She explained how radiation affected her feelings of femininity for a long time and that she had periods of feeling unattractive. She didn’t feel sexual and had been afraid of having sex. She found the fact that she and her husband would openly talk about their sexual relationship helped with any anxieties she had. She explained that after years of bleeding it was refreshing to realise what was normal. At the time of diagnosis, she had been focussed on getting better and felt that being unable to have children had not been a key issue. She said that her husband had been a great support and source of comfort for years but that after another health scare they started to experience problems. She explained that he struggled to cope and wasn’t able to live without children, and that they decided to separate. She has come to terms with not having children and has now found a partner who has similar priorities. She felt that it was important to be open with her new partner about her condition and her past experiences so that she can move on and make positive steps forward. Since her experience of cancer she has experienced further health problems but they have turned out to be nothing to worry about.
She also found her friends and family an invaluable support. She explained that she felt protective over her family and didn’t want to worry them, so would be more reserved when discussing how she felt. She had found the hospital staff extremely supportive and felt confident that she had a team of people who she could trust. She did not feel pressured to return to work and was grateful to her work colleagues. She wishes that she had been able to talk to someone who had been through a similar experience and survived. Initially, she hadn’t been ready to contact organisations as she hadn’t felt ready to talk and just wanted to cope with her cancer. Afterwards, she wanted to give something back and worked in a local charity shop for 4 years as well as carrying out fundraising with her father. She wanted to help other women recognise the symptoms as she had felt too young and inexperienced to challenge her doctors. She didn’t want to be a victim of cancer and found that talking openly about it with people allowed her to carry on as normal. She explained that some of her friends didn’t know how to react to her diagnosis.
She said that she thinks about it every day and does worry about the cancer returning, and in particular would find follow-up appointments difficult. She emphasised that her experience of cancer has not always been negative and has led to positive outcomes too. She feels like a different person and that the experience has made her more positive and compassionate. She believes it is important to live life to the full and do what you want to do. She just wants to enjoy her life. She explained that although it changed her life relationship-wise, she has found strength and feels that she can cope with anything. She emphasised how important it is to have a support network and talk about how you are feeling as it is a challenging experience and one that stays with you.