She had felt something was wrong when she experienced bleeding in-between periods. She had assumed that the bleeding had been caused by the contraceptive coil she had recently had fitted. She made a number of attempts to arrange her routine cervical smear, but found this difficult due to the continuous bleeding. She eventually got an appointment when the bleeding died down. Her GP wasn’t happy with the way her cervix was looking and referred her to the hospital for a second opinion. Her GP thought she might be suffering from an infection but wanted to wait for the results of the smear test before confirming. Unfortunately she had to wait 4 weeks for an appointment at the hospital, which made her feel anxious. She tried to see if she could speed up the process by going privately. She explained that through the whole process she found waiting the hardest thing. By the time her appointment came around she knew that the results weren’t going to be good. She was diagnosed with CIN3, the later stage of pre-cancer.

She underwent a small biopsy. She explained that she had felt scared by the word biopsy; as it was closely linked in her mind to cancer. She then had electrocoagulation to the affected area, which she explained took a long time and was very unpleasant. She felt upset but found reassurance with the hospital staff who were happy to answer her questions. A few days later she felt less anxious and relieved to get that part out of the way. The hospital staff had explained that one side effect may be bleeding. After experiencing an awful pain followed by persistent bleeding she went back to her GP who advised a course of antibiotics and contacted the hospital to see if a visit was required. She was later readmitted to hospital. She tried to remain calm but knew something was wrong as when she was on her way to the hospital she started to haemorrhage. She was taken for an emergency cone biopsy. She explained that this was her lowest moment, as when she came round she was told that the CIN3 had progressed to cancer. She explained that she wasn’t surprised when they told her. She found waking up after her diagnosis hard, as she would forget for a night but have to remember it again in the morning. She felt like everything had been turned upside down, and disconnected and isolated from those around her. She found it difficult waiting but went to see her consultant 10 days later to discuss the cone biopsy results. She said that she would have appreciated advice on what questions to ask as she felt that she had very little time with the consultant. She explained that there were questions that would crop up afterwards that she did not feel strong enough to ask, such as clarifying what the consultant had meant and the terms that they had used. She felt that it was important to remain composed and objective in consultations as she wanted to be treated like she understood and have a full picture but felt that this meant that she missed out on information regarding things she didn’t fully understand. She felt ecstatic to find out the cancer was in its early stages and surprised given her symptoms. The results gave her faith that things would be OK. However, her doctors weren’t happy with the original cone biopsy and sent the material to be reviewed at another hospital. She said it felt like her anxieties and fears were being reopened. Her consultant apologised for any confusion and reassured her that everything was on track.

She then underwent a Wertheim’s hysterectomy. She found the procedure straightforward and not as painful as she had expected it to be, although she experienced severe sickness from the anaesthetic until 6 hours after the surgery. She had a quick recovery and was out of hospital within 5 days. She wished that she had given herself a bit more time to recover physically. She wasn’t able to lift things at first, which made weekly tasks like food shopping difficult. As she had moved to a new area she felt that she could not ask her neighbours for assistance but had help from friends. Initially, she also found it difficult to recognise when she needed to go to the toilet but soon developed a system that worked for her. At the time she did not mind the hysterectomy as she was more concerned with staying alive for her daughter than having another child. Two years after her operation she found it very difficult to believe that she would not be able to have more children. She also found it frustrating having a new consultant at every check-up and would feel extremely anxious beforehand. She said that she would have preferred to have one person that had the whole picture. She decided to photocopy her notes so that she could feel reassured. She believes it is important for consultants to create a warm environment so as not to discourage people from asking questions. After the 5 year mark she felt like she had better chances.

She described feeling embarrassed by the connotations that came with the diagnosis of cervical cancer. She explained that one of the causes of cervical cancer was having numerous sexual partners. She felt that she wanted to counteract it by clarifying that she had been in a monogamous relationship since the age of 19 and that it can happen to anybody. Eventually she didn’t feel the need to justify it and was able to talk to her friends and family about her anxieties, although it had initially caused minor tension between her and her husband. She never felt she was unable to say what type of cancer she had. She obtained most of her information from books. Although she had found the information useful she explained that books could only provide fact and figures, and that you miss out on the two way dialogue you can get from speaking to a health professional. She believes it is important to seek answers and support otherwise you can end up feeling isolated.

She had invaluable support from family and friends but said that she had made it difficult on herself by not telling them sooner. Although they offered support she felt that she had to be strong as she did not want people to worry or put her concerns on their shoulders. She discovered Cancerbackup (now merged with Macmillan Cancer Support) and found them to be a great support as they were a completely dispassionate source that she could ask questions of. She felt that her diagnosis was hard on her husband and appreciated all his efforts and his company at appointments. Her GP had put her in touch with another woman going through a similar experience. She explained that they were able to share experiences and attend check-up consultation appointments together. As they would feel anxious before appointments they would make sure they had something to look forward to afterwards. She would find it hard going to the hospital and seeing how other people were suffering. She said that she felt guilty for doing so well and although it had been scary she realised how lucky she had been. She appreciated having someone to go with.

She explained that at the very beginning she didn’t see how anything positive could have come from this experience but it ended up changing her life for the better and put things into perspective. It helped her understand the important things in life a lot sooner than she would have done and that she was able to gain a very happy 5 years of spending time with her daughter. She believes it is important for people to hang onto the positives. She feels strongly that smear tests should be carried out on a more frequent basis. She explained that she had been due to have a check-up 6 weeks after her daughter’s birth but that as she had experienced complications during birth they decided to wait till her next smear test which wa