What doesn’t kill you makes you more strong! And I am 100% more strong now than before I think that I have been born again, you know and I feel more happy now than before. Amazing you know the first thing is I had the I discovered I was… HIV here.

I didn’t have no one, no member of my family to give me support. I didn’t have job, I don’t have place to stay. I was, I was very very close to being a illegal immigrant, so and there I was, HIV positive.

I have, I have got over all these things, do you know what I mean? And now I’m here

And I think that after I discovered I was HIV positive, I start to take care more about my health than before, you know what I mean? I started going to the gym, I hated the gym, the gym before, but now I am starting to go to the gym before I used to eat everything and now I start to look for my anyway after my health.

I was really, really depressed, I didn’t want to hurt, you know I, I just ask why it’s happened to me But I just went like, why it’s happened to me? I have helped people like that (with HIV).

Before I used to be out, outside the part of the group, give support for these kind of people. Now I’m, I’m in here, made part of the group, why? You know and then when, I was very, very Catholic because my family’s very Catholic and (I) pray and ask for I was really upset. Really, really upset. I said like this is the pain that I get? I ask it to him (God), why me?

But then I after long, long time I ask questions, I have the answer. I said fuck you’re stupid, because you’re having sex without a condom! Only because that, that makes sense.

I have done a very stupid thing because, when I had sex, I really do like to do sex without the condom and he said no. Because his last boyfriend for ten years their relationship, have died of HIV.

And he said, ‘No, I don’t want to. I said, ‘But why, because you are positive?’ He said, ‘No, I’m not positive. But I have been with someone that is positive for five, for six years. And I said to myself, never do sex without condom, and I don’t want this to happen again.

Then he asked me, it’s very funny because he asked, ‘What happened if you are, if you discovered that I was positive?’ So we didn’t have sex without a condom, I stayed very upset about that. Then I go back to London I said, ‘I will do some tests, to prove for you that I don’t have nothing, and I want to have sex without condom. And he said, he said, ‘Whatever you do, I will not do sex without condom. I said, ‘OK, but I will do this test anyway.

After two weeks I went to take the result And I never remember, I never forget .. they said, ‘Unfortunately, you are positive. This, this was the kind of thing that the, the world is stopped. And I said this guy that I wish I don’t speak English, not learning or don’t understand English, because I said, ‘Excuse me, are you sure that this is my test?’ I they said, ‘Would you like see?’ I said, ‘Yeah, I would like to see.

There the world is stopping there. I didn’t, you know, I didn’t remember nothing. Everything that I knew about HIV it’s disappeared. I just it is stopped. The whole world stopped. I just remember that I just was start to cry, cry, cry