And one of the most difficult things about this one was actually telling people, because I didn’t look ill, I wasn’t having any treatment. I obviously had to tell the family, including my mother who’s very elderly. But then who did I tell and who did I not tell? I didn’t want friends to hear from other people because it sounded as though I was choosing to tell some people and not tell others. But it’s a bit of a conversation stopper to say, ‘Well theres something you should know, I’ve got a diagnosis here that is not very happy. But having told people then I think it’s very difficult for them. They see me going around perfectly normally and it takes a bit of adjusting to. And because weve come to terms with it as a family we can now laugh a bit about it.

I’d had a lump on the side of my neck for some time, some years I would say, and I had mentioned it to the GP who’d said it was nothing to worry about. But I noticed, it was getting bigger and I was aware of the fact that other people could see it. And in the course of one week I was somewhere where I saw a poster which said, ‘I had a lump on the side of my neck and it was cancer but it was treated. And two days later I heard of somebody who had, someone I knew who’d been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s. And I thought, ‘I’d better do something about this lump.

So I went to another GP in the practice and realised immediately that I was in trouble. Her reaction was so marked that I think I knew right from that moment that there was something really wrong. And she arranged for me to see a haematologist within a couple of days. I had a phone call suggesting that I might go through early in the morning and he would see me before he saw his ward rounds.

But it does seem very odd, on reflection, you wake up in the middle of the night and think, ‘I’ve got cancer and nobody is doing anything about it. And then you have to think, ‘No that’s not so. I see the consultant every six to eight weeks, they take bloods, they check my weight and they ask me very obvious questions, and he feels my lymph glands. He left one of the small ones in my neck to act as a kind of weather gauge for something happening. And fourteen / fifteen months further on I’m just as fit as I was on that first day that I turned up.

But I’ve had a bit of adjusting to do in my own mind and I can understand that for some people this would be a very difficult one. Curiously because I’m widowed I actually think it’s easier for me, I don’t have anybody else to worry about. I only have myself to think about and I think I’ve adjusted fairly well to thinking, ‘Well this is the situation. But I’ve had fifteen months of excellent quality of life, I would say that my quality of life has really not deteriorated in any way, now I’ve got a bit of confidence back. Looking back, my first reaction was to kind of freeze, to stop doing things, or to think that I was going to stop doing things that I was involved in before, and certainly not to take on anything new. But that didn’t last very long and after three or four months I thought, ‘This is no way to live. I was recently retired and I was at the point where I’d thought I was going to be putting different things in place that I would enjoy doing and I’ve just gone ahead and done that, I’ve undertaken new interests and new activities and so that stopped getting in the way.

I could not speak highly enough about the professionalism and the courtesy that was demonstrated to me.

So at the first appointment, the first time around he spoke to me about radiotherapy because he did not have the full report from the radiologist at that point. At the second appointment he said it would be chemotherapy because it was at a more advanced stage than he had expected. But he wanted to take my case to the interdisciplinary team, that I think is commonplace in hospital settings. So the third appointment he said that he had discussed my case and his colleagues to a person thought that he should just watch the situation rather than do anything immediately, because I am, to all intents and purposes, I am perfectly well and I was perfectly well. I go to the gym regularly, I do not suffer minor ailments, I think of myself as a fit person, I just was a fit person who had a lump which I’d had for a long, long time, he tells me maybe as long as twenty years. Had I not had that lump I would not have known there was anything wrong with me at all.

So he said at that stage, ‘That’s my colleagues’, that was the general decision that that’s the way we should take it and I will go with that if that’s what you want, but if you want chemotherapy now I will give you chemotherapy. It was fortunate that at that point I had the daughter with me who is a geneticist by training and when we came out she said, ‘It’s a no brainer mum, that was the considered decision of a range of people, a range of skills, and that’s what you should go with.