He, he took out the, the lump that I found in my neck and it was positive and I had my exams so I kind of went to all my exams whilst having some scans and stuff. I, I do remember coming in late for an exam because I, my scan had overrun and they let me kind of sit in the corner and carry on later than every, anyone else. So my school were really good with that. They were very understanding, they let me come and go as I pleased, they gave me privileges to sign in and out so if I was tired from radiotherapy or anything, they just kind of let me, I could do that, so that kind of responsibility was really, it was really thoughtful because I couldn’t have necessarily stayed all day but. So yeah, I kind of did my exams.

Art was helpful, it was just, it was just something to take my mind off it but schoolwork was like that too with my exams. I, I kind of got through those couple of months because, you know, I thought I’d come so far even missing the best part of term, term in the summer between surgery and radiotherapy, I was still, you know, I was still working and it was so close literally two weeks before my exam, I was like, I’m not going to throw it all away for just this. I let my school know, who again were always really, really like thoughtful and kind and asked if there was anything I could do, they could do even. They offered me things like extra time in exams, which I chose not to take because I thought I wasn’t really in a different position to anyone else you know. Then my exam boards were made aware of the situation so if I had to miss an exam which thankfully I didn’t, they’d, they’d know and maybe take my, my predicted grade or take it into account that I missed the exam because I was somewhere else, but thankfully that didn’t happen so.

I kind of, I did my exams and then they turned out really well. My school was really proud, they, they always publish in the newspaper about the exams and they, they wrote a little paragraph about me saying that because I got five A stars and four As at the end of it, so they, they wrote this little thing in the paper saying you know, even with battling cancer she managed to get good marks. So I was, I was chuffed when that came in the paper I was quite proud. I was like, you know ‘cos I, I did feel that I worked hard, it did keep me going ‘cos I thought, you know, at the time I thought GCSEs were the be all and end all you know [laughs].

What would be your advice to regarding scars, physical scars to young people?

Scars I think it, obviously it takes time. It’s something you should embrace because, and be proud of, because it is part of who you are now. And it’s, it shows how far you’ve come. I think it’s very important to look after your scars when they’re new obviously you should clean them lots with salt water. And have people keep an eye on them so they don’t get infected. But also moisturising’s brilliant, just simple E45 cream works wonders and also you can go to a health food shop or a chemist and say, ‘Look I’ve got some scars what can you suggest?’ I found a, a brilliant oil that I use on my scars that really reduced them I think.

Which oil?

It’s called Bio Oil it’s about ’10 for a little bottle, can’t even say it, ’10 for a little bottle and it’s, it’s just some oil that you kind of massage in. You only need a little drop so the bottle lasts quite a while.

Where did you find that?

At a health food shop.

Ah, ok, and it’s called Bio Oil?

Bio Oil, and that I found phenomenal. I mean I’ve been using it since New Year’s when I remember to about twice a day just rubbing it in and you know theres a, I can see a big reduction in the visibility of it. But it’s also a good routine to get into because if you’re aware of your scars then your body, you can report changes instantly.

Do you go regularly to the hospital?

Yeah I do. I go regularly.

How often?

Well, weve never actually got into a routine, because wed start saying every three months and then in between I’d start, I’d feel something in my neck so I’d have to come back quite a lot. I mean, recently I’ve been, for the past three Fridays, I’ve had to go up to [place], to see my doctor because I’ve had a few glands pop up again a couple of small ones on my neck. I’ve been quite fortunate up to this moment, they’ve all been like 5mm big kind of very tiny ones. But on my cheek at the moment I’ve got a very swollen gland on my cheek. Initially I thought was wisdom teeth [laughs]. But it wasn’t and I had a blood test and unfortunately that came back positive so next week I’ve got to go into hospital to have the gland there removed. Which will be a two/three hour operation just because it’s in a difficult place, it’s where all my nerves are so they’ve got to be careful not to damage the nerves that control movement in my face. Because otherwise I, I you know, I might not be able to lift my eyebrow or I might have a bit of a wonky smile or something like that. But I mean it’s something I have to consider, I might have some damage depending on. ‘Cos the glands are kind of above and below the nerve so they kind of, they might have to damage a little bit the nerve to make sure they’ve got all of it out. So that’s the next operation and I’m going to have a scar that will come along my hairline, round my ear, round the back and join up to one of my other scars which, I mean I’m not thrilled about because obviously it’s more on my face, but I’ve kind of come on to the point where I’m proud of my scars. Obviously they’ve faded a lot but it’s, it’s part of who I am.

I wouldn’t get rid of them because it’s proof that I’ve been though so much and I’m still here, I’m still standing, I’m still fighting and it’s part of who I am. If I didn’t, you know, the fact that they’re so visible on my neck that it, you know, it’s, unlike somewhere that can be hidden by a jumper and therefore you kind of can hide it and not think about it. Mine have always been very much on display so straight away I had to deal with the fact that I had scarring.

So, that was good I think because I, pretty soon after my operations, I was like, well you know I don’t mind, it’s not too bad. They’ve all been quite clean. They’re not big horrific ones. I’ve had a few kids ask me before what they are and I, I revel in telling them that it’s a shark bite [laughs].

I was, I think, about 14 and I was on holiday with my family, and just brushing my hair, and I, when I was brushing my hair I felt a mole behind my ear, that was never there before because I, I would have noticed it before when I was brushing my hair. And it was quite big and so I was a bit worried, and my brother and sister suggested that I go see my doctor because it was quite big considering that it was new.

So I went to see my GP when I got back and he had a look at it, and he was very much, ‘It’s fine, theres nothing wrong with it, just leave it, keep an eye on it. But as far as he could tell there was nothing wrong with it. And then I waited a couple of months and I was, still wasn’t happy, I went back to my GP who agreed to have it taken off, so I was referred to a hospital in [place] I think, where they took the mole off and just before, like a couple of weeks before my mole taken off, which was in October half-term, I remember being in school and it was itching and flaking and half of it fell off in the lesson, into my hand, and it started bleeding and I thought that this isn’t really right but didn’t pay much attention to it because I, I knew I was having it taken off.

Well unfortunately my Mum doesn’t know how to use computers so my mum doesn’t use the internet. I’ve personally used the internet a lot and so has my dad and the rest of my family and friends and stuff. If they wanted to find out about some of the treatments and stuff, I know that they’ve looked on the internet so that can be very useful. The only problem is lots of the sites are aimed towards doctors and not patients so they can be very cold in their just churning out facts to do with survival rates and successfulness of treatments and things like that which isn’t necessarily the most productive thing you can be looking at. So when it’s more, if you can find a site that’s more aimed towards the patient, that talks about, like you said before, about feelings and helping you make decisions on what you want to do and how you want to, to fight what you’ve got that’s better. Because I have read things on the internet that scared me because it can be, you know, just statistics rather than you know. And statistics doesn’t always apply to you it’s not, because it can’t necessarily be personalised. When you just throw out funny numbers it’s easily misconstrued and misunderstood to mean that, that necessarily applies to you when obviously it doesn’t at all. You can be the one in a million that, that beats it and, and whatever you know. You can be that one person so’

But I mean after a couple of weeks I was fine, I was kind of back to school, I went back to for result, and he said that some of them were pos, some of my glands were positive some were negative. And that he was worried that because some of the glands were quite full, that they might have over flown with the cancer cells. So he suggested, after talking with other doctors that I had radiotherapy. And this is in the summer of 2002, so May/June time. But he kindly referred me to [place] which was a lot closer so I wouldn’t have to stay in [place] for five weeks [laughs] ‘cos that would be a bit mad. So I came down, I was referred to people in [place] who made me a radiotherapy mask which I found quite funny at the time, because they had to put a mould all round my face and it was just quite bizarre after seeing it, that it was like my head and neck that was all moulded. And they also marked a little tattoo so they could line me up with the radiotherapy machine. And I started a five week course of radiotherapy. I went in five days a week, and I had the weekends off.

You stayed in hospital for five days or?

No, I commuted and most days I went back to school for not the whole day. I kind of went back for a couple of hours and my dad would pick me up. But I, you know, I kind of wanted to stay at school. I didn’t want to miss out. It was first year of GCSEs and I, I thought it was very important I be there and see my friends and stuff. So I’d go in the morning with my Dad. I’d have radiotherapy on two different machines, one which did the neck and then one that kind of was right behind my ear, just kind of looked a bit like a cup actually [laughs], and they did that on my ear. And then my Dad and I used to go and have a fry-up afterwards as a treat. So every morning I’d have a big fry-up and go back to school, which was fun, I liked that.

It made me very, very sleepy. I’ve always been a particularly sleepy person but I was quite quiet and slept a lot if I came home from school I’d, I’d sleep on the sofa for the afternoon. But I was fine apart from that, I wasn’t sick, I wasn’t ill particularly, I didn’t you know, because it was on my neck obviously I didn’t lose any hair I wasn’t. So I had quite a positive experience of that.

What happened with after they, they removed the lump?

Well, I started getting lumps pop up on the right side of my neck which hadn’t happened before. They’d all been very much contained on the left side between just literally my neck and my shoulder, it hadn’t gone anywhere else. So I started feeling lumps on my right side and then, they were taken out and were positive, so they decided to do the same operation that they’d done on the left side of my neck, on the right side. So I had all the glands taken out on the right side of my neck, which I actually found out the other day was 67 glands, which is quite a lot I think [laughs]. I didn’t realise we had quite so many glands so that was quite funny.

How long that operation lasted?

I think that was about three hours long. I was in for four days maybe five days this time. I didn’t stay as long as I did the first time I was in [place] so my friends came up and visited me which was a big help because obviously in [place] they all called and, and sent cards and stuff but it, theres nothing nicer than friends coming over and you kind of laugh and giggle and kind of forget that you’re in hospital and you’ve got drips and stuff up. It was, it was really, it was really nice. That was the beginning of sixth form, the beginning of my A levels. And my head of sixth form came to visit me as well which was lovely. She brought some flowers. And, and so I kind of, I had a better experience of that one. I, I knew the drill a bit, I knew how I was going to feel afterwards, I knew what painkillers to ask for and it was, it was an all round better experience just because I had more. My brothers and sis, my brother and sister could come and see me which they couldn’t really do in [place] ‘cos it was too much of a journey just to come up for a day and then go back again. So that was just really lovely I, you know, I kind of felt supported and loved and that was, that was fine.

Recovery-wise it kind of got easier the more operations I had. Because to begin with the anaesthetic was making me feel very sick, so then I knew to ask for anti-sickness so when I’d come to I, I’d feel better. I’d feel in pain maybe but I wouldn’t feel sick which has always been quite a big problem. I had the odd bit of physiotherapy for my shoulder because obviously they took a, a part or a whole muscle out.