I suppose because I’ve been offered a chance and the opportunity. And also you like to be told that you’re well, that’s another thing. People like to be told that theres nothing wrong with them, that they’re well. So we don’t, in this country, we don’t go for annual check-ups, like they do in the States, we don’t have that service and we usually go and see the doctor if were sick. But this is a procedure that you go relatively, well you think you’re well when you go in, think you’re OK when you go and you feel OK and it’s always nice to be told you’re OK. It’s nice to be told you’re well. And that’s a positive side of having the screening;

If someone was thinking of going for a mammogram but they weren’t very sure, maybe because of the pain, what would you say to them. A friend for example?

Well it’s always an individual choice, isn’t it, in this day and age ones always got to make up ones own mind. And there is a lot of information to help you make up your mind and I suppose one of the routes of information is getting it from friends and colleagues and particularly people who’ve been before you;

All I knew was that I’d had, I’d got to go back. You know and it’s sort of stunned, like you’ve had the diagnosis already. You know. Which I don’t know whether every woman feels that way, all the recalls but it certainly made me feel very, very concerned. Very frightened.

It’s [going for a mammogram] just a worrying experience in one aspect but it’s quite reassuring in another, so it’s with mixed emotion. You know I feel that its, on one side it’s a good thing to have it done but on another side it does give you a lot of worries and concerns that you wouldn’t have if you didn’t go for a scan;

But you’ve always attended;

Oh yeah, I’ve always attended. Yeah;

So you’ve been for a mammogram every three years since you were first invited?

Yes. Yes.

And you will be invited up until the age of 70 now;

Yeah;

After the age of 70 it’s up to you whether you would want to go. In your case, would you want to go, or’;

I probably wouldn’t. I probably wouldn’t no. If I had not any problems up until 70, which is now another ten years, another three goes I suppose, I don’t think after 70 I would, no.

OK. And your reasons for that would be you’ve been fine up until then?

I’ve been fine up until then, I understand, I’m not sure if this is fact, but the older you get the slower the development and growth rate of these things are. So I would probably continue to do self-checks, but I, and I think that I would just leave it at that.

Another thing which I think I find a bit alarming, or a bit anxiety making, a bit angst making, is the fact that the radiographers, or the people that actually do the scanning, they have different attitudes to you. And the last time, the very last time I went, which must be the fourth time I’ve been so I’m quite an old hand at it now, the women, the radiographers were coming out and saying to the women, "Are you all right? Fine, yeah, no it was fine, you’re all right, you’ll get a letter in a couple weeks’ time."

Well the girl that I had doing mine was a learner, she was a student and she was being very careful and very concerned and when she came out to tell me about mine she came out and said "Thank you very much, your scan was done and it’s, and weve got the pictures and you’ll be hearing from us." And immediately I was ahh, why, why isn’t she talking to me like the other people are being talked to? Why isn’t she saying "Everythings all right," da di da, you know, something must be wrong, theres something wrong. So then I spent the next period thinking what am I going to hear? What am I going to hear? And of course the letter came and everything was clear, so yeah. A lot depends on who you are dealing with, how you’re feeling on the day, whether it’s a nice experience or not. And after all at the end of the day all the scan’s going to tell you is that you have got it or you haven’t had it, but it isn’t going to tell you that you’re not going to get it.

After I’d had my first scan, my first screening, I was called back. And that again was just another horrendous shock because I then again realised that I was vulnerable, it could happen to me;

He [consultant] explained that what they had seen on the x-ray were little, I think he said tea cup shapes or saucer shapes that were in the little shapes that showed up in the ducts and he, they were very concerned because that is where duct cancer or you know minute cancer cells generate. But he was quite confident that they were, it wasn’t anything to worry about.

And I think I asked a question, I think I asked about whether it was, would have been anything to do with breast feeding, because it was calcium dots, you know, residue of milk [laughs]. I don’t know. I can’t remember what I asked, but I remember them being quite good about explaining what it was.

So he told you there and then that “weve found these, but it’s nothing to follow up about”;

Yeah, yeah;

That you could go home?

Yeah, and to not worry about it, that it was nothing that I should be concerned about. But to come for my next one when it was my time;

Three years later?

Uh huh;

And I felt relieved that that was what it was, but then coming away thinking well some people have these calcium deposits and it’s a serious matter. So it’s always there now, it’s always hanging about that something was seen on my screen. This was, I’m 60 now and this was, must have been when I was in my early 50’s. So you know each time, each year that goes on I think I might be nearer to something, but touch wood nothings happened yet;

I’m sure that the media would feel that they are duty bound to alert people and to raise their awareness of things. But I think sometimes the media, and when I say the media I’m talking about papers and TV, I mean they do have a bit of sensationalism about things. And I think they do hype things up and they do catch on to buzz words and in-words and dangerous words and words that you should be concerned about, and they do emphasise so that you know they, they make you scared or they make you want go and investigate or whatever;

Well I was picked up for breast screening as most women are when I became of age. And I got my, and I knew it, obviously knew it was going to happen, working for the Health Service, I was well aware of what was available to women and patients and I did know that I would eventually be called. But I must admit when the letter actually came, inviting me to go for a screen, I must admit I did felt a little apprehensive. I remember thinking oh my God I am you know, it’s here, this is the time now.

So the letter came and off I trotted and nothing was unfamiliar to me because I was very, I’m very familiar with clinical areas and with the way Health Service people and people who work in health manage themselves. So I, nothing was unfamiliar. But when I got into the room where the actual procedure was being carried out I felt really very, very nervous indeed;

There was a big sign on the wall which said “We squeeze because we care.” And it wasn’t until I’d actually been squeezed by the machine that I really knew what they meant by emphasising that, by putting it up on the wall.