Were you given any information at the time, after you’d had a section about the fact that it might have implications for a future delivery? Did anybody kind of debrief you afterwards that because you’d had a section, that you might have to deliver by section again the next time around?

Only one thing was said to me, and then it wasn’t ever followed up. One thing was’ who’ I think it was my midwife, my local midwife that I know, said to me that it was unusual, the reason why I had a caesarean, that his positioning, that was quite unusual and that I may have to’ it could have been because he had a big head, and the shape of his head, or it could have been me, it could have been the shape of my pelvis and that, if I was ever to get pregnant again, they would probably scan or x-ray or something, my pelvis to see. Because obviously if it was my shape, that it would have to be another caesarean. And, I remember her saying that, but at the time you think, ‘Oh, I’m never getting pregnant again!’ But then I remember saying to my doctor at some point about it, when obviously it did come into my mind that I might get pregnant again, and he said’ sort of dismissed it and said, ‘Oh, well, that’s something wed think about if you got pregnant again. And then once I was pregnant, I did mention it to, either him or my midwife, and they said, ‘Oh well, we wouldn’t scan you now you’re pregnant’ or something. So it was’ that has remained, has remained something a bit strange really, that that was said and then’ nothing after. It never seemed to be the right time.

And what kind of information have you wanted with this pregnancy? Have you thought about different things this time?

Well, obviously the, the main different thing has been obviously I’ve known that I’m going to have to have this decision at the end of what option to go for, whether, you know, the planned or the natural. And it’s sort of been at the back of my mind, but I’ve been very indecisive all through really, which is me, I guess. I am an indecisive person, and because it’s something so important, it’s just really horrible actually, I’d rather’ My sister’s second delivery, she her baby was breech so, you know, the option, it was sort of- the decision was taken away and I, I kind of almost wished that, that this baby was breech, you know. So I wouldn’t have to decide and it wouldn’t be, you know, if it was the wrong decision, that it wouldn’t be my decision’ which is really silly.

He was kind of’ at the beginning he was kind of like, ‘Well, it’s up to you, but I think you should probably have a planned caesarean. Because I think he was quite worried about what happened to me before, and that it could have been potentially quite dangerous if they hadn’t, if the midwife hadn’t have been as vigilant as she was and kept checking his head position. If they’d have kept inducing me, he could have sort of come out like superman. It could have been quite so I think he was, he was thinking that might be the safer option and maybe, you know, weve done it before, kind of thing, it’s, you know.

And I was kind of agreeing with him, but then as it’s gone on, hes like, ‘Oh, it’s your decision, I, you know, I can’t say’, you know’ which is not that helpful really.

So how does he feel now that you’ve decided to have a trial labour?

I think he also is relieved the decision’s been made, because I think he was completely fed up with me and as soon as I said, ‘Okay then, I’ll give it a go’ to the doctor And he said, ‘Oh, you’ve made the right decision.

I think it is completely your choice, it is completely your decision, but it depends I suppose what kind of person you are; how swayed you are by the professionals. Because somebody like me, I think, being really indecisive, it’s, it’s going to affect me a lot. But I have known of people that have been like, ‘No, I’m having a, a planned caesarean, I’m not messing around with all that. And you know, they know exactly. And I kind of in a way wish I were like that, or like, ‘No, I really want to go natural, you know, because of the achievement and that’s what I want to do. So ultimately, obviously it is completely your decision but I think if you’re kind of indecisive and you’re not really sure, you are going to be affected by the doctors and the midwives, because they are really, ‘You should give it a go and.

And how do you want to deliver this time? What’s your preference?

Well, obviously, just pop it out and my husband will catch it [slight laugh]. I, yeah, I obviously I would love for it to be natural and be no problem, but I think I’m kind of’ I’ve been told off for being too negative, and you sort of tend to think that everything’s going to happen that happened the first time. And you think, oh, I’m probably going to end up having a caesarean anyway. You know, so’ it did sort of cross my mind to go for the, the planned option, but I’ve kind of decided to give it a go and see what happens.

Did you have any particular worries this time? I mean, obviously work out the way that you were going to deliver, but what are your concerns?

Well that’ the chances of it’ the wound rupturing’ was one thing. I guess, my, with what I’ve chosen, my worry is that I’ll give it a go and it’ll have a long traumatic labour and then still have to have an emergency caesarean. So you end up feeling a hell of a lot worse than I did last time.

Yeah. And, and have you talked about that with the midwife or the obstetrician, these worries?

Yeah, yeah.

And has that helped at all?

They just kind of say, ‘Don’t be so negative, which’ and, ‘Everybody’s different’, you know, ‘Every pregnancy’s different’,’ dah, dah, dah.

So how involved do you feel in the decision this time?

Well, I know it’s my choice, but because I’m so indecisive and I find it so hard I guess I’ve gone with, I’ve just gone with what they’ve advised really. So’ obviously, it’s my decision, but I’ve, yeah, I’ve gone along with what they’ve advised.