Anyway to get back to the prostheses.

This nurse, this Cancer Care Nurse – excellent, I mean it’s really good having a person that, you know, you could phone up any time you wanted if you’d got any problems, it was great. It’s the same nurse who deals with the prostheses.

And I went along to the hospital on this particular day and she had this room full of all these boxes. And different sizes and everything. And different types. And I said to her’ “Oh, it would be great to have a stick on,” you see.

And she said’ “Oh yes, we do them.” And I was absolutely amazed. And apparently they’d only been out for about, less than a year. So I, so there was no contest. I said’ “Look, I’ll have one of these definitely.”

So we went through all the, kind of trying to get the right size and everything. And, I mean, I was totally bowled over by how realistic these prostheses are. I mean they feel, they feel just like real flesh. It’s absolutely amazing. And the fact they can actually stick is astonishing. So if anyone has this I would certainly recommend the stick on.

Yeah now he wanted to do a lumpectomy, because I had a very small lump.

And I said’ “I think actually I’d prefer to have a mastectomy.” And he said, well, he would leave it entirely to me. He didn’t mind what he did, but he was just recommending the lump and that I should go away and just think about it. He didn’t need to know in advance.

I would turn up in the theatre and he would then would be told what I’d decided, which I thought was a bit surprising but anyway that’s what he said.

And the reason, the reasons for going for that I think were, I think if I’d had the lump I’d be a bit kind of concerned that it might recur. Whereas if theres no tissue there for it to recur in, it would make me feel happier anyway. I mean I know it still can recur, even if you have had a mastectomy, but I just felt it would make me feel a bit happier. So that’s really why I went for it.

It also meant that I wouldn’t have to have the radiotherapy, but that wasn’t actually a reason for it. It was just kind of a side issue really as part of it. So that was that.

It was about, it was 18 months ago.

In fact it was a terrible introduction really to the new millennium because in December 1999 I’d gone and had a routine mammogram, and they said to me then that I wouldn’t get the result until after Christmas.

Then there was a female doctor who was very nice and she said that they would do an aspiration.

What they do is they give you this aspiration without an anaesthetic in the hope of getting sufficient cells to be able to give you a diagnosis there and then.

She put the mammogram up on the board, on the light board, and was talking about the sort of black splodge there, then one of us said’ “Well is it malignant?” and she said’ “Yes.”

And I said’ “Oh no,” or something [laughs].

And there was a nurse there as well.

It took me, oh least a couple of months I think, to sort of have the courage to really look at it.

The incision has faded, I’m mean it’s still there, you can still see it, but I don’t look at it for any length of time, but it’s not an issue any more.

But it did take quite a while to actually pluck up the courage to do that.

How did your husband feel about it?

Okay, I mean he always said, do what I wanted when it was sort of the option of the lump or the mastectomy. His view was I must do what I felt was best for me. So that was fine, I mean no problem.

We don’t talk about it. I mean it’s not an issue at all really. No, no. So I think I did the right thing in having the mastectomy to be honest.

Now what happened then? Oh something I’ve forgotten.

When I went to see the consultant after I’d been discharged on the Thursday and he took off the fluid, he also said that I’d got a haematoma, which is a kind of a large blood clot.

So instead of being liquid it was actually solid. So he said’ “The best thing to do is come in and well do an operation and sort of remove it.” So, and he said’ “Well come in this afternoon.”

So there I was, back in the hospital again. They’d found a bed in a side room. And I was in overnight, and again it was the same procedure going through into the operating theatre.

“Which side is it?” Well it’s pretty obvious because I mean it was black and blue with bruises. Anyway, that was alright.

They just did the operation. He said’ “Oh, I’ll do it through the same incision.” Which made me sort of cringe a bit, but he did and it was alright and that was just unfortunate.