So she, yes so she had this camera and she had a look and I was fully expecting the worst and she said theres nothing there, it had completely gone away. And she showed me that my cervix was completely pink and there was no white patches, nothing and I was quite surprised that between that time and the last time I had a pap smear it had completely gone after it had been there for years and years and years. And she did say that it was possibly, you know she couldn’t say for sure, possibly because I’d given up smoking like 4 months before and she said the virus can go away by itself but smoking inhibits it from going away and so I felt very virtuous and felt that you know there is a very good reason for me giving up smoking and not starting again and I felt quite pleased with myself. I mean I just couldn’t believe it. I can’t believe it’s just gone away because I expected the worst really and it was, it was a big relief.

Afterwards I drove, I drove there, I had a car and I drove there and when that was over, even though it wasn’t too bad when I got back to the car I was like in shock I think and I sort of burst into tears and I was sitting at the steering wheel going I can’t drive, and I was shaking. Only because I find it, it’s quite invasive and it’s quite a traumatic thing and because I’m so sort of prudish and squeamish and it’s all sort of, it’s quite an emotional thing even though nothing really horrible happens it’s just suddenly it sort of hits you I think but I wasn’t actually that bad the second time I think.

The worst thing was having to have a local anaesthetic in my cervix, that was the most scary thing, you see this great big needle coming towards you and having the injection inside, that’s quite urgh it just makes you really squeamish and I don’t like injections at the best of times. I’m a bit of a wimp, I’m a wimp when it comes to anything to do with hospitals and doctors. So I, so they did that and you know it wasn’t pleasant but it wasn’t agony or anything it was just unpleasant and I think because I tense up it makes it worse. And then he did whatever he had to do that was it really. I sort of walked home bow legged and, and once the anaesthetic wore off it was quite painful and it felt like you had really bad period pain that sort of feeling so I just sort of had to take neurofen and stuff.