Emily

Emily was diagnosed with HIV in August 2020 after starting antenatal care. She chose not to breastfeed for the safety of her baby, though culturally this was a difficult decision because in her home country breastfeeding is seen as the healthiest start for a baby, and you can be treated with suspicion if you do not breastfeed.

Emily came from West Africa to the UK in 2019 to study for a Master’s degree. She was working as a part time cleaner but is not currently working as she is staying home with her baby.

In August 2020, when Emily was pregnant with her youngest child, she had routine antenatal tests and received her HIV diagnosis. Her partner was also tested then and was negative. Emily’s relationship eventually broke down because of her HIV diagnosis and she is now a single parent. The experience of being pregnant and single, and not really knowing anyone in the UK was really difficult for her.

Emily’s healthcare team put her on medications to reduce her viral load, and now it is undetectable. After discussion her family back home (who know about her HIV status) Emily decided not to breastfeed, for the safety of her baby. She says it has been a very difficult decision because breastfeeding is the expected norm in her community from West Africa, because it creates a special bond between mother and baby, and makes the baby very healthy. Not breastfeeding as a mother can be viewed with suspicion.

Emily was given formula milk by the hospital until she was discharged and she felt the medical team she saw during her antenatal healthcare treatment were very good and welcoming. She is now supplied with formula milk by a charity, the feeding is going well and baby is healthy.

Emily has looked on the internet for more information about living with HIV. At the time she was looking for information her friends did not know about her HIV status, and so other people’s testimonies on the internet gave her comfort.

Emily spoke with her partner and family before making the decision.

Age at interview 41

Age at diagnosis 41

I discussed it with my partner and then my family back home, I came to conclusion that for the safety of the baby I will not breastfeed, I will not breastfeed, I will bottle feed and then they said that they have a, a charity that they give, give baby food to people in my condition so I was also very glad to hear about that so that helped.

Embed Print Transcript

Emily felt that she was treated equally and that staff were welcoming.

Age at interview 41

Age at diagnosis 41

Oh no I would say I didn’t-, it’s not, I didn’t have any ill treatment or something like that throughout my antenatal, I was treat, I was treated in very equally and good, everyone was okay, nobody. My midwife and the doctor and I were going through the, all, they treated me well. They asked if I’m okay. There’s nothing wrong with me. I never, I never, they never did anything for me to felt that maybe because I am this, that maybe they be treating me this way or that way. So and during my delivery, it didn’t even occur to me that I’m being treated differently because I am that or that so the people here, the people here are very good they are very welcoming, that went very well, yeah so.

Embed Print Transcript

Emily was given formula milk by her HIV clinic.

Age at interview 41

Age at diagnosis 41

Oh, the hospital were giving it to me. Before delivery, during my antenatal visit, they told me that the hospital, I don’t need to bring to the milk to the hospital because they provide it, they provide it for the babies so I don’t know that it was, they were giving it to me from my birth until I was discharged.

Print Transcript

Emily did not wish to engage with the infant feeding guidelines too much because her own HIV diagnosis was still too fresh in her mind.

Age at interview 41

Age at diagnosis 41

I would say that like, my first it was because when you are HIV, when you are living with HIV already before you get pregnant, I think one is different because you are in it already and then you, you probably know a lot about it so that one is different like compared to my case, I wasn’t, I didn’t know I was having, I have it, HIV. So I only got to know when I was pregnant so it was like a, I didn’t know much. I thought to me the best thing to do is not breastfeed my baby because I know that will be the safest but if like I was living with this already before I getting pregnant, I would have known that I, it was actually very good. They did explain to me but it’s like I didn’t want to hear. Yeah, they did explain but if I was like in it already that would have been different.

Embed Print Transcript