Devin

Devin’s depression began in childhood. He connects it, along with his diagnosis of anorexia and his self-harming, with a history of neglect. He was hospitalized in his teens. Therapy, meditation and other holistic approaches have been helpful. He does not take medication.

Devin’s parents divorced when he was two, and he moved back and forth between their houses during his childhood. His mother was always kind of neglectful, when it came to lov, perhaps for Devin even more so than for his five siblings, and his father was overbearing as well as actively suicidal. Both of them cared about themselves more often than they cared about anyone els.

Depression was part of Devin’s life beginning at a young age. For a lot of his childhood he was pretty numb emotionall. As a teenager he also began to self-harm, developed an eating disorder (anorexia nervosa), and struggled both with getting motivated to do everyday things and with anger. Underlying all of these issues for Devin was the feeling that he was a terrible so who is not good enoug. He also had the idea that showing his emotions would cause pain to other people, that they will be hurt by i, so until much of the way through high school he had very dark time isolated with his depression. He eventually did go to a psychiatrist, and was officially diagnosed with clinical depression. He was also hospitalized for a few weeks after being actively suicidal; being an in-patient helped ou and made him feel less alone.

As a young adult Devin moved far away from his family for a fresh start with his girlfriend in a part of the country where they can find everything they want in their lives like access to nature, less stress, and friendly people. They live in an apartment with other roommates. Therapy has been helpful; Devin has learned to speak up about thing and discovered that keeping it in is actually a lot worse than telling someone what is going o. He plans to continue with therapy when he has health insurance again. He tried medication, but for him it just stopped everythin and never worke. Meditation really helps him out and calms him down. Devin’s girlfriend is also a big support, and the job he just got working at a store is very self-esteem boostin.

Devin advises other young adults with depression to remember what things help them — like maybe exercise, being in nature, and being around other people — and stick with those things. Also, don’t just put up a façade of being happy or try to fake yourself out of your emotions and think your emotions aren’t needed or wanted by others, because the more you hold everything in the more it’s going to get worsedefinitely expressing your stress and your emotions that is something you should d.

Meditation calms Devin and he is glad his girlfriend understands what it means to him.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

On-line connections helped Devin feel less alone with the combination of depression and anorexia he was experiencing.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

Devin first limited how much he ate to lessen burden on family.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

Devin says being neglected in his early life made him able to feel other people’s emotions, and now he uses that ability to be helpful.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

Devin describes telling his parents about needing help before he attempted suicide.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

Devin feels depression has left a shroud of darkness around him, making it hard to know who he is or what he wants to do in life.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

Devin felt a combination of anger and relief when he was diagnosed with clinical depression.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

Devin thinks his depression comes at least in part from being neglected by his parents.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16

Devin says when he’s depressed he sometimes has anger attacks.

Age at interview 21

Gender Male

Age at diagnosis 16