Bay came out as non-binary at the age of 23, but first started to feel different from their peers at the age of 11 or 12. They sought help for depression in their late teens after friends encouraged them to go to their GP, to talk to someone but the resources weren’t there. At 23 Bay eventually learnt about being non-binary and that was when it started to fit and feel right
Bay describes their journey as very much an onlin one. Bay didn’t knowingly know any trans peopl and it wasn’t something that I’d been exposed to at school Bay came out to family, colleagues, and changed preferred name at work. They say it has been a pretty positiv experience, and haven’t had too much negativity from anyone.
Bay began their exploration gradually by changing their clothes and hairstyle, thinking that perhaps that would be enough. However, they felt that there also needed to be medical changes to feel comfortabl. Top surgery was something they had wanted from an early stage, whereas they wrestled over whether to take hormones for quite a while
They went to their GP and asked to be referred to the GIC. The GP they saw was very understanding Bay decided they couldn’t wait the extensive waiting time for their first appointment and booked an assessment with a private clinic, which Bay hoped would offer more guidance and support. The GIC and the GP agreed to a shared care agreement, and that process was very smoot and Bay’s experience of their GP in general have all been positive.
First appointment at the GIC was a psychological assessment, and Bay was very anxious about it, due to reading about others; experiences on how well non-binary people are understood in those settings Bay felt like they did have to play the game a little bit but also stood their ground on some things, like the request for them to legally change their name, which actually delayed them getting access to testosterone.
Bay was eventually prescribed Testogel. They were apprehensive to start with, and needed time to adjust to that change happening Also being worried about other people noticing as well. They are happiest about the changes in their upper body shape, and the fact that other changes didn’t go too quickly.
Bay says they were anxious about how their change in appearance might change how they negotiate gendered spaces in day to day life They recall an experience of a bouncer asking them to leave a pub due to using the women’s toilets. They are also concerned on potentially being read as a gay man in the men’s toilets, and what homophobicbuse might come with that They say I want to look more masculine, you know those are the things I’m, I’m seeking in a lot of ways, but at the same time every time I get read as male it, it jolts me in some way Bay wonders if this is perhaps because they I don’t associate strongly with, with either binary gender Bay’s advice to parents is to make it clear to the child that they are still loved and they are still supporte because parents; time to process information can be misunderstood as unacceptance.