Is there anything you would like to tell other people about intensive care and Covid, now that you’ve been through it all? As you’re now an expert.

Oh, I don’t think so. Well, my main thing is, is if you haven’t been jabbed, please get jabbed, it’s the only way that really is going to save your life. That Covid experience for me, I don’t know how it affects other people, but for me it was long, it was traumatic, it was on the pinnacle of me dying, a few times. I would say, probably, never give up, keep, you know, trying to go forward as best as you can, but take one day at a time. Because every day that’s…if you can get through one day you can get through a next, but you’ve got to take it on a daily basis. Because with the long Covid is that you can develop all sorts of different things, and you have to try and battle them one at a time as best as you can. And always, if you’re never sure, just ask the experts, phone your doctor, get as much information as you can and tell them clearly what you’re going through, it doesn’t matter if it seems silly. I mean for me when I was experiencing different things that I didn’t say at the time when I probably should have so the doctor could make a better diagnosis of what I was experiencing. Because to me everything I’ve experienced since I just put down to the Covid and that’s what people go through; when really, I probably should have asked the doctors or the nurses, or whatever.

But at nine weeks I was saying to the doctor, please, I want to go home. Because it started to feel a bit like a prison then, because there was nothing to look at, there was nothing I could do, I couldn’t get up and walk about, because I just didn’t have the energy or the capability of walking very far with the oxygen. Of course, as you walk around with oxygen it uses it up quite significantly and quite fast.

So yeah, so I sort of I went through a period where I was feeling very down and getting upset. And the nurses were very, very good. There was one particular nurse, it was a male nurse, and you always knew when he came on shift because he’d always come in whistling; and he was lovely, really, genuinely cared about what you were thinking, what you were going through and, you know; and many times he used to say, Ann, you know, you don’t realise how much you have fought this, he said, you were just so poorly. He said, you’re our walking miracle, which was very nice of him.

In actual fact he did the video of me when I left, and oh, it was very…it was very humbling, because there was nurses, there was doctors, there was the cleaning staff, all lining from the door coming out to where I was going to go into the ambulance to come home. And they were all there clapping, and it was just lovely.

I’ve got the video of that, and of course I was also in the local newspaper – and I’ve got that – about me being in hospital, and the time I was in, and how I sort of recovered, and sort of praising the staff and that. And yes, that was lovely. Still got them now. But yes, I mean, I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. And I feel a bit angry and sad that some people still think Covid is a bit of a myth and that they won’t have the vaccination. And I just think, if I could stand on a platform and say to everybody what I went through, and that it really isn’t worth risking your life to not be jabbed. Because it really is…I wouldn’t wish it on anybody what I went through. It was a very scary and a very hard thing to go through.

I just wanted to say as well – or I forgot to say – is that when I came out of hospital, within two months of coming out, which I found very strange, I lost about a third of my hair, which was, to me, more devastating. Because it’s such a visual thing, your face, isn’t it? So, part of me wouldn’t go out, and then when we did go out, I ordered these scarves that you wear when, you know, more, like, when cancer patients wear scarves if they’ve lost all their hair. But my hair was so thin, and it came out so dramatically, I thought it would never come back again; but thankfully it has. And now I’ve been told that’s all part of Covid as well. Which I found strange that it didn’t happen in the hospital, it wasn’t until I came home, a couple of months after.

Yeah, so there was that. And then I had a really bad, for a couple of days, of itching all over my body, I was constantly scratching myself. When I phoned the doctor, she sort of told me off a little bit, she said because that could be connected to my kidneys. And I said, well, obviously I didn’t know that; because you don’t, you just think all these things, you just think, oh, God, is there another…something else with Covid that’s affecting me at the moment? But thankfully I’ve only had little bouts of scratching since then. But it was to the point where the itching was so bad, I actually bled; and I have got some scars on my legs where the itching was so bad that I really scratched myself quite bad.

One day I was sitting in the chair, and because I was constantly falling asleep – it was like I just couldn’t keep my eyes open most of the time – and I recall when that lady was alive opposite…oh, I can’t even remember at that point, but I just heard this shouting, nurse, nurse. And what had happened is that I was sitting in the chair, and I’d dozed off. And I went forward and fell out of the chair onto the floor. Probably, thinking about it now, they probably should have strapped me in, but I just went forward and went on the floor. I don’t recall anything until all the nurses were rushed over trying to get me up off the floor. So yes, that was one of the experiences of me having a fall. I had a fall in the shower as well. The nurses didn’t quite hold onto me, so I sort of slithered down the wall on the floor. And yeah, so there was about three incidents of me having fallen. Because it was like I had no control over my body, and when the physiotherapists started coming in, I remember it was…sorry, I forget words…it was…

Take your time. And if you need to catch your breath that’s also fine.

Okay. It was when I had to stand up from the chair, because my legs were like jelly, so of course trying that, and they gave me the frame and everything, and I’ve had to very, very slowly start trying to walk. But it really was like a toddler standing up and trying to take their first steps, because obviously for nine weeks I hadn’t walked, or even stood up, because I was in the bed or the chair for all that time.

And I realised when I came home, I think the reason why I had such anxiety on the bed, and there were many times during my stay I wouldn’t get into bed, I slept in the chair. And I think my fear was that if I get into bed I’m going to die, like the other people did. At the time I didn’t know, but I did have a very, very big issue with lying down, in all the time when I was able to speak to the nurses, they had to put my bed up straightaway because I couldn’t lie flat, because that’s when I started to really panic. So yes, for most of the duration when I was compos mentis I slept sitting up or slept sitting in the chair. And when they had to help me with bathing, they put me on the bed and they said, we’re going to lower you down. And I remember saying, no, no, no, no, up, up; and I kept saying, up, up, up, up. And they said hold on, we’re being as quick as we can.

I mean at the time when you catch Covid, aren’t you, I didn’t think about my other underlying health issues. But when the nurse said, when the two people died opposite me… I mean I know the one in the middle, that he was quite poorly, and old as well, it sort of…when she said that…because I said, oh, why did they die? I said, because I thought they were going home. She says, well, they had other underlying health issues. And it sort of scared me more because I knew I had other underlying health issues. And I thought, well, if Covid doesn’t finish me off it’s probably going to be one of my other underlying issues.

More so with the clots in my lungs, I thought, more so, rather than arthritis; because I don’t know anybody who’s died of arthritis, but clots in the lungs can be quite dangerous, especially if they travel to your heart. So that was scary. But Covid, because it was so new, and because nobody understood what Covid really was, and the things that it could do to you, I didn’t really think about it that much, other than that I was very, very poorly. But of course, when it, you know, all the things I was going through, and they said it was related to Covid, and it just made me more aware of how dangerous it is.

And in the time I was there, the five people that were on that ward all died.

Oh, gosh.

I never suffered at all with anxiety but seeing these people – I mean obviously I didn’t see them actually die – but the machines that were brought in, and within just days of them seeming to be okay they just went downhill straightaway. They were put on monitors, oxygen machines, everything; but unfortunately… Now whether they had other underlying health issues maybe, but they just went down very, very quickly. And I saw each one of them go; because you know when someone has died because the nurses and the doctors, they pull the curtain around, they pull your curtain around. And then you know that the bodies are being taken out.

And that happened to all the five of them that was on that ward. And so, I was the only one left on that ward. And my anxiety levels went through the roof. The doctor diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress syndrome because I could not, whichever way they talked and tried to distract me and everything, my anxiety would not come down. And this went on for, I think it was the last week before coming home is when my anxiety levels started to get a bit better; they weren’t completely gone. But it was only afterwards when I came out of hospital, I thought why was I going through this, because I’d never experienced anything like it before.

I actually liked her, because she was straight talking, and she didn’t pussyfoot around what she was saying to you. And I like that, I like people to be up front and direct. So yes, so she became my favourite doctor. And I remember when she used to look in on the ward, come in on me, and she would sort of say, hmm, well, you know, your oxygen levels aren’t great, we need to get them at such and such a point; and I used to say to her, but when will we get to that point? She said, you just have to be patient. Well, God, I remember getting frustrated, but I was never frustrated at her, because she was just doing her job.

And I remember the one day when they got me down to a level one on oxygen. And she came in dancing. And she danced around the room and saying that that’s great, that’s brilliant. But of course, you know, things have changed since then. And I remember having to go to the hospital and see her six months after I came out of hospital, I went to the hospital and saw her. And yeah, she was still the same. And she was saying, oh, you know, everyone still talks about you, and you’ve done well, but you know… She didn’t say at the time that I was going to be on oxygen for life. Because I don’t think anybody knew at that point how long, and how much affect…the Covid had on people, and the symptoms of things, that they developed after leaving hospital.

But when I was in hospital, when the doctor said that there wasn’t anything they could do more because I was on a hundred per cent oxygen, did I want to speak to a vicar or a priest or whatever you call them. And I said, no, what for? So, it sort of took me…And that at that point, when he said that, I realised then how poorly I was, and I was battling for my life. My husband was called in three times during the period of nine weeks and a little bit I was in hospital for – three times – because they felt that I was going downhill and they sort of had said to my husband, you need to have a conversation with your wife. And he told me that he turned round and said, no way is she going to die, he said, she’s too stubborn. And the thought of leaving my boys and my husband, I just thought, I can’t do it, I cannot leave them. And I think I put down my recovery partly due to my stubbornness. And it’s only from being told by the nurses, and even the cleaning lady who used to go and clean the wards, that they all thought that there was no way I was going to recover.

It was the beginning of April I was working in a residential home for people with learning disabilities and dementia. I was the senior night care worker. And part of our duties was to do personal care, and I used to do the personal care of this particular lady each morning I was on duty. And I think at that time when Covid was just starting to become more we heard about Covid we had to then have PPE. Unfortunately, we didn’t have all the PPE and the correct PPE at the time, and once people were starting to be asked to go and get checked to see if they had Covid I went with my husband, and he tested negative. It was at a stadium where the healthcare workers were asked to go to.

And mine came back as positive, so I had to get in touch with work and tell them that I’d got Covid, so I wasn’t able to go in. What I actually found out from that was the lady that I did personal care with each morning, she had caught Covid, and we think at the time is that there was a lot of different staff coming in because we had a staff shortage at the time and so other people were coming in. So, we think that the resident had caught Covid from another member of staff outside of our building where I worked. And I unfortunately caught it from the resident. Thankfully she turned out to be okay.

I on the other hand wasn’t so lucky. When I was diagnosed with Covid obviously I had to phone in sick, and it was a few days later that I started to feel unwell. When my breathing started to become a bit difficult, I remember phoning the doctor and saying I’m struggling to breathe and started to get the symptoms like bad headache… And the breathing was the worst part, which worried me more. And she said that she felt I might have the symptoms of Covid started. So, she advised me to ring 111, which I did, told them how I was feeling; they suggested that an ambulance would come out, which it did. I could say they were probably here within ten minutes; they were very quick.

From what I’ve been told I was in a chair, but I thought I was on the bed, but I was in the chair, and I just flopped. And then I was rushed to ICU. I can’t remember much in the beginning other than the doctors had put me on a hundred per cent of oxygen, and I was sort of drifting in and out. And I recall the doctor coming to the bed and saying, you’re on a hundred per cent oxygen, there isn’t anywhere else we can go with this. He said they didn’t want to sedate me, you know, when you’re sort of put into an unconscious state, because of my other underlying health issues [blood clotting], and they said I wouldn’t survive it.