I feel that because being female and having it and especially some places, females can be a lot more conscious and we do like to hide a lot of things. Especially having like , like friends and wanting to be in a good friendship group and males and want -, at this age wanting to get relationships and stuff, that it can be a little bit, ‘Oh well I don’t wanna be able to show this cos people might see me and be like, “Oh what, what’s going on?”‘ So, I was like always conscious of that which is why I’d like to cover up and sometimes I got -, I did get like a small patch on my eyebrow so I’d always make sure that I wore, I wore make-up to try and draw attention to that. I don’t bother wearing make-up much anymore but I’d always just make sure that I’d -, if I wore make-up then I’d look nice.

And I’m always one of those that I’d always wear nice clothes so that people didn’t feel -, I’d look nice and it kind of just draws it away a little bit, and it’ll draw my attention away from it especially if I’m going out to new places, meeting new people.

Well I just kind of -, I’ve only really mentioned it a few times for some relationships; some people just haven’t really asked but it was more someone that didn’t really ask much questions anyway, whereas like the relationship that I’m in now I did mention to him at the start of the year, cos obviously I had to say that I’ve got hospital appointments and he’s like, “Why have you got hospital appointments?” So, I had to go in a little bit more detail but he’s been really supportive over it and he’ll always be like, “Oh it’s getting better, you can see how much difference it has made,” and he has been really supportive over it. But just in past, just one of those things I’ve just kind of avoided talking about, it, it’s there; I’ve just got bad skin and that is it.

And just kind of left it.

Mum would always just check up and see how it is and they’ve all been really supportive, like my Dad he has it a lot worse than me and just from this year having the phototherapy because he’s, over the years, he’s used the same creams and nothing seems to help, but it doesn’t bother him because obviously he’s married with Mum and like everyone that he knows, his family’s understanding, so he doesn’t -, it doesn’t really affect him, but then obviously he’s a lot older which I say to him like, “It’s not gonna affect you, you’re older,” but I do keep saying to him that, “I’ve tried this; this has helped,” and just trying to help him to be able to go and just go out and go to the doctors and maybe try something different because obviously what he’s doing doesn’t help him but it’s just he’s stubborn.

So, trying to persuade him to just try and make a difference.

So you tend to be sort of the source of education and encouragement for him?

Yeah

Does it ever work the other way round where he sort of gives you information or advice and?

No, my dad’s quite quiet and cos he’s had it for so long and he just doesn’t go to the doctors about it. He got given this one cream many, many years ago and he’ll just keep getting the repeat prescription and using this cream now, and he just kind of -, he just, he just goes with it.

I use like itch relief creams and antihistamines. I took those quite a lot just to prevent it a little bit and just making sure that before bed to have a shower, have a bath just make your skin feel a little bit clear, and just changing the bed constantly as well just so it’s nice and clean, and just not feeling as – , just like clogged up. I like wearing like leggings and like pyjamas that I’d wear to bed I’d wear my leggings types, just cos they felt tighter on my skin, therefore there wasn’t that looseness of like pyjamas just moving around and making it a little bit itchy, so that helped me just feel a little bit comfortable.

The only main thing that I’ve always been told is like stress, and because when I was at high school, my first high school I went to, I didn’t really enjoy it which was why I had the IBS as well from the anxiety which then, they put that down to why it got worse as well, just being stressed out. And then when I saw the consultant this year they mentioned – , cos everyone’s really said about stress and she mentioned again, “What’s work like; how is it?” and I said, “look what I do is busy,” so they did mention the stress. And then she also mentioned about different foods that can be triggers, so she give me so many to eliminate – so I don’t eat beef, don’t eat tomatoes, don’t eat dairy and I don’t eat oranges. And although when I’ve cut them out pretty much completely for the first month and a half or so, because I was doing phototherapy I didn’t really see much of a difference, whereas now because obviously I have my food all cooked for me, I still eliminate it but every now and then I will have naughty days, and I will eat some of those foods and I’ll go have a burger, I’ll go drink proper milk, cos I drink goat’s milk.

And see, but I haven’t seen any effect that these, what I’m eating every now and then, it’s flaring up my skin so I’m just every now and then I eat it in smaller doses just in case.

And what happened after that? Did they suggest different treatments than steroids?

Well it was when I mentioned to her that I said that I wasn’t gonna try creams, and that’s when she turned to me and said, “Well, obviously the phototherapy, it probably won’t work; it doesn’t work on everybody and we’d always try these creams first before we do the phototherapy,” but she put me forward it for anyway and I was like, “Well if you say it’s not gonna work is there any point in me doing it?” She was, “Well it’s up to you,” which didn’t really help me. So I did it anyway and then I had to go and see her not long ago and I was like, “Look, it’s all cleared now.” So it was kind of like, ‘Aha to you,’ but the way she made me feel that day wasn’t like the most positive cos I’ve, I told her that I’d tried everything, like even when I got referred by my doctor over winter he’d looked at the previous, my previous medical everything that I’d been given for it and it was pretty much all steroids that could have been given, or creams, I tried over the last ten years.

Which is why I got referred.

Usually afterwards, especially once you’ve, your dosage has gone up so you’re going longer and you can start to feel the heat especially in there. I do go slightly pink in places mostly in my face and my arms and maybe my tummy especially when, whilst I was doing it recently we’ve had the nice hot weather, so working outside most days going out I’d end up by the end of the evening with a completely pink face feeling ridiculously hot because I’ve just gone up in treatment; I’ve been out in the sun so it’s just making sure that always put on sun cream afterwards if I was gonna be on it, out in the sun, just to kind of prevent anything else happening, but it was only really go pink for a few hours.

Like at first it’s like I’m only coming up here and the, I think my first treatment was like forty seconds that I was stood in the sunbed and it’s like am I actually drive, cos I had to drive twenty minutes to the local hospital. Twice a week is a bit long, and it was am I really coming up here for one minute or whatever to stand in-‘, but over time it did get to about four minutes which is a little bit longer, but a lot of the appointments as well cos they were always morning appointments; like it just tired me out cos every time it was worked out on my days off whenever I was on a late shift, so therefore I had the morning off, so I had to be up early to be able to drive up to go and do it. So it did kind of exhaust me over time especially with being busy at work and just made me so tired, but at the same time it was helping me so it was a bit of swings and roundabouts to, ‘I want to go but I don’t want to go cos I’m tired,’ but yeah it helped.

For most of it, cos I was a lot younger, it was OK I, cos I could get my prescriptions for free. But as I got older, when you’re getting the, the prescriptions it does kind of add up depending on which ones you’re having because, depending on how much they prescribe you, depending on how much you’re having to use because of how much psoriasis you’ve got, also then depends on how often you’re having to go back and get the repeat prescription and it does, the price builds up over time having to get it, which is why I did kind of just stop using any prescription and I’d buy just moisturisers, and I would try and see how that worked. But it’s just, it’s just a pain as well of having to go back to doctors and make sure you’d got that repeat prescription, or if it’s not working, have to go back and try another cream, and if that doesn’t work you have to go back and get prescribed another cream in a few weeks and it just kind of builds up, and it’s just back and forward, back and forward from the doctors.

Which can be an absolute pain over time.

So, when I had to go and see the consultant you have to fill like a little questionnaire out, and it always says about . But the thing being when they do these questionnaires but they relate it to the last month, or the last week, and some of these questions don’t actually relate to in the last week. Like, has it ever affected what you’re wearing?’ Well when I went and saw her it was in the winter. So no, it didn’t affect what I was wearing because I’m gonna wear long sleeves anyway, whereas if it was in the summer, yes it would because I wouldn’t wanna wear skirts; I wouldn’t wanna wear shorts. And it’s just those things that they don’t really think about. Like when I did see her and she first went and told me that, “Oh OK, we need to try some steroid creams,” I broke down in tears in front of her because I said, “No, I’ve tried this for the last ten years and nothing has worked.” And it’s even like she didn’t really relate to it and she’s like, “Well your psoriasis isn’t that bad, you – ,” and I was just like, “You might have seen the worst cases, but to me this is really not helping me,” and that did bring me down a lot when I first saw that consultant this year.

Could I ask what the first appointment with the GP about psoriasis was like?

I can’t really remember it because it was so long ago but obviously Mum took me in and they just give me steroid creams. I think it started off with the same that my dad had, just cos obviously he’d used it for so many years; then just over time that didn’t work so I was going back and forwards being given different steroid creams just to try until I got referred to go to a dermatologist, and that was mostly because of my scalp and because of the state that it was in where I had to go and have special treatment a few times a month where I’d sit there and they’d put in the cream. I’d have to sit there for a few hours while it settled in, then they’d have to sit and just scrape out all the loose bits.

The only main thing that I’ve always been told is like stress, and because when I was at high school, my first high school I went to, I didn’t really enjoy it which was why I had the IBS as well from the anxiety which then, they put that down to why it got worse as well, just being stressed out. And then when I saw the consultant this year they mentioned -, cos everyone’s really said about stress and she mentioned again, “What’s work like; how is it?” and I said, “look what I do is busy,” so they did mention the stress. And then she also mentioned about different foods that can be triggers, so she give me so many to eliminate – so I don’t eat beef, don’t eat tomatoes, don’t eat dairy and I don’t eat oranges. And although when I’ve cut -, I cut them out pretty much completely for the first month and a half or so, because I was doing phototherapy I didn’t really see much of a difference, whereas now because obviously I have my food all cooked for me, I still eliminate it but every now and then I will have naughty days, and I will eat some of those foods and I’ll go have a burger, I’ll go drink proper milk, cos I drink goat’s milk.

And see, but I haven’t seen any effect that these, what I’m eating every now and then, it’s flaring up my skin so I’m just every now and then I eat it in smaller doses just in case.

Especially working here, especially being outside we’dit’s easier to wear shorts in the summer especially when it’s really warm, but I’d always try and avoid wearing shorts and go for trousers just because I feel comfortable, more comfortable, than having to get my legs out especially going out in dresses. I didn’t really want that I’d have to make sure I wore tights but I’d still feel conscious that you could see it. And I’ve even had, when I’ve -, it’s been so hot working over the last few years and I’ve had to wear shorts working with smaller children and they ask you questions about it and it just doesn’t really feel the greatest and then like with my sister’s wedding she wanted short bridesmaids dresses but I told her that I wouldn’t and I couldn’t wear one. Obviously it’s now cleared which meant we could have worn one but I told her no I wouldn’t because I didn’t wanna look like that, have my legs out doing wedding photos or anything like that.