In fact it started it started, that was probably one of the early symptoms but I didn’t understand or didn’t associate it then because, I started having erectile problems earlier on before my toilet runs increased. And I thought maybe it was just fatigue or stress or whatever, so I didn’t put much to it, and it didn’t occur on a regular basis it was, you know, once in a while. So you know, then I understood that I had an erectile problem and then when the diabetes picture then came in and then I put one and one together and I realised that okay that’s what it is. But, you know, you come to, to understand that that’s what it is and you get a choice of how you want to deal with it, either you go into abstinence or you use medication so, you know, we’ve gone the medication route and we, and that’s what’s helped us yeah.

The one thing that he warned me about there are side effects with a number of the drugs, medicines sorry, that I’m taking, can cause depression. And I could see on occasions like this black fog coming down, and I knew it was depression, and I fought it and I fought it and I fought it and I wouldn’t let it get to me. I had a bit of a bad time a work and next thing I know is [clicks fingers] I’m depressed. And I could recognise it but there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t want to do anything about it actually. I suddenly went from, I am going to fight this to, I’ve got it and I don’t care. I didn’t care. I didn’t not care either. I didn’t do anything’

Eventually I kind of, yeah alright, I’ll go and see the GP. Made an appointment and he asked me all these questions. There was ten questions he asked me, to do with state of mind and what you’re thinking and stuff and. ‘Yep, he said, ‘You’re depressed’, [laughs]’ So he put me on Prozac. Again I reacted, quite upset tummy and stuff for the first few days I was taking that. And there’s a bit of spark back to me now.

Are there side effects with Prozac?

Well there are side effects to everything. Most the worst side effect to everything is erectile dysfunction. I was struggling anyway with my bad back because of the damage to my disc and lower back, so there was a problem anyway. But the combination of all these tablets in my system has just finished everything off. So that’s a contributor to depression for a bloke particularly.

The tablets, I think it’s the tablets that were sort of, because depression, as I understand it, is a chemical misbalance in the brain, and I could kind of see that it was there and I’m pretty sure that the tablets were contributing to that; mucking up the chemical balance, so it was kind of there but I was fighting it off.

‘ I think neglect. I would say neglect of And you know, like I said to you at the beginning, the warning signs and they were just sort of They were easier to ignore. But when you have the diabetes now, I can try and ignore it, but it’s not easy any more because its impacting on my day-day life, I mean it’s impacting on everything. I mean even in terms of relationship, libido, everything it’s just like, do you know… You just don’t know. I just had no idea of all the things that, you know, it can sort of enter every part. It’s not just a health thing it’s…
Tell me about the libido because a lot of men have talked to me about that, but not so many women.
Well, for me, whilst I was, before I separated’ I mean it was just like’ it’s the tired. You see the thing is maybe it was a bit of both with the thyroid thing going on and the, so I don’t know which, which came first, you know what I mean, so. But yeah, just feeling, just not ever wanting to have sex again, and it’s quite strange for someone who wanted a child, not to be, do you know what I mean? Even for that I just lost my appetite for it completely. But then also, I also acknowledged that I had, sort of like, heavy bleeding for two months and obviously it all goes to have an impact on relationships, you know what I mean, and the mood swings from both, or from all three things really, you know, so.

It’s something that you learn as you go along, you know, as much as the doctor can tell you, ‘Look you’re gonna have problems in terms of your erections. And you say, ‘Oh okay, fine. But it’s different when you get into the practicalities of things and you know, fortunately I have a very understanding wife so she understood that. But it does have an effect, you know, when I was going through the internet that’s when I really read it in detail and the biological effects it has, you know, on your , on your erectile system and so forth. So that again was so like a sub-shock in itself to say, ‘Oh okay, right this is… because obviously any healthy marriage, sex is an intimate part of it, and that then compromises in terms of, you know how you deal with it and so forth. But fortunately my doctor’s able to help me and , you know, that’s, that’s come about quite nicely so, again it’s something that you have to learn to do.
Is the medication route viagra basically?

Yeah it’s viagra I wasn’t sure whether I should use the name or not but, but yeah it is viagra and, and I think also [name] the other thing that helps is both the husband and wife’s attitude towards it. Because, you know if, if you take it as a loss it, it can create so much stress in your marriage, and, and it can cause complications in terms of the relationship between the two of you, the emotional response to it because you know, as a man, you know, [laughs] you measure your manhood in terms of your sexual prowess and so forth, for want of a better word. And so when that’s taken away, that’s like taking an engine away from a car, it can’t operate, but because my wife and I, you know, discussed this and came to an understanding about what is going to happen and how it’s going to affect us, we took a positive approach to it, in terms of well this is what we have, how can we get around it, or how can we get by with it?

And I spoke to my doctor and he said, ‘Look there are options. And back then I thought viagra was just something, but he says, ‘Look you, you’ve got an option of viagra. Which I discussed with my wife and we said, ‘Yeah well let’s go for it. So that’s the upturned side. But you know, even now I don’t necessarily need it all the time it’s just, you know, periodic that once in a while that I get to use it but, that’s also helped, and, and of course just being positive about it, yeah.