Did you, did you do any antenatal classes?

Yes, my husband and I decided that we would do the standard antenatal classes that, provided by the local auth-, local health board, and then we also opted to do classes with the NCT, National Childbirth Trust, because we just felt that there were only, I think there were only four classes provided by the health board and it didn’t seem very many, really, in terms of, you know, finding out about something completely new, and the NCT sort of series of classes was slightly, slightly longer. So we did the two in parallel and it was quite good actually. There was some repetition but it, it did mean that we felt quite well briefed on all sorts of things. And I think the NCT one was slightly more independent in terms of giving you the information if you needed to challenge anything that the health professionals might, might want to sort of steer you towards, giving you a bit more independent information to help you make up your mind.

What, what sort of things were they sort of equipping you to challenge if they were to arise?

Things like, well, it was basically what questions to ask if you were being pushed down a certain route perhaps for intervention during the pregnancy, or during the labour in particular. So, in terms of aspects of pain relief or the position that you were being asked to, to take for delivery, aspects to do with drugs you might be offered or, you know, the vitamin K injection that you’re offered after the baby’s born, that sort of thing. There were various, the various sort of interventions and just knowing the right questions to ask, or if theres a sudden, you know, emergency what are the sort of options that you have, so that you would be calm in that situation rather than being sort of slightly flustered and not quite knowing what to, what to ask.

We were, wed only been in [city] a year, basically, when we were sort of at that stage of, of classes, so I was very keen to do as much as I could, to meet people, because if I didn’t meet them now I was going to be stuck at home with a baby. So I did pre-natal yoga, a class specially run for pregnant ladies from twenty weeks, and met a lot of people through that. It was great. It was an hour and a half to yourself and your baby, as they constantly reminded you. “Feel your baby. An hour and a half a week, and because you did it from twenty weeks you got to know people much better. You had a longer period of time with them. And we also did NCT classes, but because of the problems that came later, and me going into hospital at thirtysix weeks we missed four of them.

So we only did a couple of weeks. And again, that was very much to meet people. I wasn’t so down the green route of having a water birth and all of that. I, I felt a bit embarrassed when I went to the first class and they asked you what your, you know, what you thought you might like at birth and everyones saying a water birth and a home birth, and I said, ‘I’d like an epidural. And they looked at me like, “What are you doing here?” [laughs] So. And we went on the hospital tour, but we didn’t go to – because we were doing NCT we didn’t go to the classes at the hospital, but actually as it turned out we probably should have done. Because they would have been over earlier, and wed have learnt more before the big day.

So you missed like all the classes about breathing and birth positions and stuff? Did you get any of that in the yoga class?

Yes, we did. We got breathing in the yoga classes, and that was, you know, of great use.

Yeah, yeah. It was quite a small group, and again at the cottage hospital, so it’s sort of a friendlier atmosphere. And from what I remember she got, she put us into two groups, and then we had sort of a tea and biscuit interval where you could have a chat, so it was quite relaxed. It was nice, yeah.

And did they start talking to you at that stage about birth plans, and did they encourage you to..?

Yeah, I think that was towards the end of the classes we got, got on to that, which was kind of the bit that we were all interested in, you know, and how was this baby actually going to get out?

What had they been talking to you up till then?

I can’t remember, all sorts of, you know, how you were feeling and sort of more emotional stuff, I suppose. But actually you just want the nitty-gritty, you know [laughs]. Which was, so the more the classes went on it sort of got more interesting, I think.

Right. And did they talk about what happens after the birth as well?

Yeah.

Did that mean anything to you at the time?

Well yeah, I can’t remember it all now, but we had like these, we were split into groups and she gave us little exercises to do. And then wed have discussions, and shed write down how every, sort of how people thought they’d, how the baby would change their lives. And, and shed do things like diagrams showing how much, how much your day was broken down in sort of, at the moment into work and your leisure time and everything, and then when the baby came along how much time you’d be actually, have to yourself, which was like this miniscule slice on a pie chart and the rest was sort of baby time. So you know, those things were quite interesting I suppose.

Did it change your sense of your own appearance, of your own attractiveness when, when your shape started to change? Did that worry you at all?

It worried me because I’d always been reasonably slim and looked after my appearance. And I think the, at the beginning, you know, sort of you get to 3 to 4 months and you don’t, you don’t feel pregnant, well, I didn’t feel pregnant at all. And I just felt that I looked like I’d put on loads of weight, you know, there wasn’t a specific tummy shape or anything like that and nobody really knew I was pregnant. And I think that hit home a little bit. And I was finding it really hard to do my jeans up and I was like, ‘Oh, no’ which sounds silly but, you know, it was just, but the more I’ve progressed and the, you know, obviously the, the more shapely I’ve got as far as my bump is concerned, I’ve just loved it, absolutely loved it. And now I just, I just love being in maternity clothes and I, I just really enjoy being pregnant. So, yes, so it hasn’t really bothered me at all.

Did you, did you go to any sort antenatal classes or anything like that?

I went to some, some birth preparation classes with my first pregnancy. But with my second I knew I was going to have an elective caesarean anyway so I didn’t bother with that one, no.

The first time round did you find the classes helpful?

I didn’t find the classes helpful for the birth prep. because I found them embarrassing, actually. I don’t, [sigh] when I was actually in labour I’d forgotten all of it. I’d forgotten when to breathe in, when to breathe out, I was just sort screaming blue murder, just in so much pain, so I didn’t really remember any of it. I didn’t find them particularly helpful.

Are you able to say what was embarrassing about them?

The funny, it was a bit embarrassing because of all the funny positions you’ve got to get in and also, I suppose it made me feel a bit awkward that everybody was there with their partners. Everybody had taken their husbands along and theres me, my mother, my sister [laughing] and I, I think it drew a lot of attention, yet again, to the fact that I was single and young. Seeing all these couples here and then theres, you know, me with my, my sister and my Mum that it just sort of drew attention to me, I felt.

Were people sort of awkward or unpleasant with you about that or was it more a feeling that you had?

People weren’t awkward with me, it was more a feeling that I had. It was more, it was more me worrying about what they were thinking inside. I don’t worry about what people think of me any more because I, I do my best for my children and I’ve learned that’s all you can do and you make the best of your situation. But I did used to worry a lot about what people thought of me because, obviously, when I fell pregnant with my first daughter I wasn’t going to be in that situation. I was engaged to be married and, and everything was planned out perfectly. And to be in this situation I was in, it, it took a bit of getting used to. And it wasn’t until I was in this situation that I accepted, actually, that I’m no different being a Mum than anybody else; I try my best and, hopefully, it will be good enough.