Let them not give up. They must not give up. I never gave up on my brother. I never gave up on my dreams. I never gave up one day that the situation, ‘that this one is too much for me, God I cannot handle. I never gave up. I did not give up. And their approach that they are using, let them take advice from other place, let them see the approach others are using so that theirs would be good. Never pamper them too much. Mental health doesn’t need pampering.

You need to be a bit harder on them?

Yeah. He doesn’t need pampering at all, because I saw this with my eyes. Even though that it happened to me, you know, I won’t have another family would be passing that kind of situation, that is where there’s some others who have that.

Yes, what I would advise parents passing through this kind of situation, because my mother went through it. As parents don’t ever give up on your children, no matter how bad. No matter how bad the situation is, don’t give up on them. If you give up, that means you are telling the devil to just take you away, take away and just let them go and die. You understand? Try and always understand your children, you understand?

My advice to them, please be patient, more sympathetic towards them, try to understand them, and they’ll need, -the mental people need more love and affection, as much as you give them they come nearer to you and they open up with you that -why they are suffering and how they suffer, and that -if they come to the knowledge that you are more loving [towards] them, more affection, give them affection, they’ll open up more and more and they forget their disease and they can tell you how they feel it, and that way you can give the treatment and they come out from that illness.

Well I talked about. I mean, the first thing, obviously if you have a problem, is to go and see the GP, because a GP is the first person who can put you in touch with professionals, the psychiatrist and so on, so it’s to go and see your GP, and if you’re, the person you are caring for doesn’t want to see anyone you can go to your own GP. Because often people say well he doesn’t want to, but you can go to your own GP and explain the situation, and, you know, the GP, even if it’s not the same surgery as the other -person you care for, they can, I don’t know, suggest things and so on. And ask for, I think, a home visit if the person doesn’t want, -that’s the one thing I regret, really, not to have done. And not to be, not to think that it’s going to get any better, because it’s not going to get any better. And to contact MIND, Rethink, those are the two main charities who help people with mental health problems. Because then you are going to be put in touch with other carers and you are going to get information as well, and you can see people on a one to one basis as well, you know, so you don’t have to, if you don’t want to expose your problems in front of everybody.

If you look back and think back about caring what would you say to someone?

In this country you get a lot of government support there is no need to suffer about what to do or what will happen. For resources, if we sit at home, nobody is going to come and help you. We have to get out and ask someone, but our people are shy (reluctant) to discuss things openly what is happening in our homes. But it’s necessary because only when we talk to someone will we get help without that we will not find a solution.

Well, learn a lot more. People should learn a lot more what this illness is all about, they want to really understand it’s an illness. It is an illness that affects the brain and people must really get into it. They’re being ignorant about it, they must learn a lot more about what it is and when they start learning, because I, I still think that there are people out there that are still ignorant about mental illnesses, about schizophrenia and they want to learn a lot more about it. But go and find information about what it’s all about and then they’ll start to understand and then they won’t be so ignorant about what it’s about, that’s one of the main things people want to do. Learn about what mental illness is. Because mental illness can affect anybody. Anybody. It doesn’t matter who you are, it can affect anybody, because even we sometimes, we call ourselves ‘normal, but sometimes we do get a touch of mental illness, sometimes we do, and we don’t realise it, a bit of depression, a bit of, you know what I mean. Yeah so it can affect anyone. So people should go and learn about it, get information on it and that’s so when I do all this training, I get to understand and then I’m not ignorant anymore and I know how to deal with it. I know how to treat her, that’s the next thing they want to do too, when they learn about what it’s all about, they know how to treat people, you know, that’s right. So this is the advice I can give to people, go and learn about it and then you won’t be so ignorant, then maybe you won’t think it’s some kind of a disease you don’t want to go near them, do you know what I mean, that they might catch it. So these are the things that I think people should really be aware of and, you know, sympathise, don’t criticise, sympathise, because it can happen to anyone, anyone. Don’t think you are untouchable, because they didn’t go, these people, these young people, because when you see these young people I feel, when I come here sometime on a Friday when I’m going to this place, I come in, I saw these young people and my eyes is full of tears when I see so many young people, I thought, what is wrong, why, what happens to the people, why so many young people is ill, is mentally ill, why? And a lot of ethnic minorities as well and my husband said, why is it, why so many and I cry about it, I cry, I actually, I do weep. So people really want to go and, and learn and get information and know what it’s all about and then they will sympathise people have got this problem and not criticise, because it can happen to anyone my dear, anyone. And this is the advice I would give to people.

Well firstly, though there’s another secret I found out though. Now, these carers’ You can complain. Now, if I complained to the company, which provides a care, they’ve got to make an entry in their books. So when the auditors, or people who monitor come along, and they look at the complaints book, and if they get too many complaints, then they’ll fine them, and that sort of business. So once I said to one of the carers, ‘oh, I think, the second one didn’t come’, I said ‘phone up the office and tell them’, she said ‘no, no, no, if we phone up they don’t like it’, because, about the complaints procedure, so I’ve got to ring up. So what should be there though, there must be an independent complaint set up, so if I’m not, if you’re not happy ring the independent people, and then they will record it, and they will have to deal, they have to phone up the carers company and tell them. By that way something, something will be done, even the company, which does the caring will get kicked out and all these things. So when I had the problem, when this carer, -the caring company was trying to mess around with it, I wrote a letter to the Director of Social Services, ‘Three questions I need answering. When you privatised it, did you set your standard and give the caring company a procedure that these are the things they’ll comply with, firstly? Second question, who checks the compliance, right. And thirdly, do you ask, -get information from the clients, or the receiving, -who receive care from them’, so I asked those three questions? So if you start writing letters like that to the top, then they know you mean business, yeah. So my being an auditor I know all this, I know the system, I deal with it, but ordinary people they just get fobbed off, they say you can’t fight with the big organisation you see, yeah.