Views on public debate

The parents and carers we spoke to shared their views and feelings about how trans children and adults were represented in the media. Some of the things they spoke about were:
  • Misinformation about trans children;
  • The way the media talks about trans children ;
  • The visibility of trans children being a positive thing; and
  • The public debate about trans children being very polarised.
People we spoke to felt that there was a lack of awareness in general about transgender people as well as prejudice against trans and gender diverse children and adults. Some parents felt they needed to advocate for their children to make the world a safer and better place for them.

Oonagh hoped that increased visibility of trans children and trans people would lead to the society becoming better educated and more accepting of gender diversity.

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I’m just hoping with the—on the one hand youve got all this horrible negative stuff. But I’m hoping that as a result of that, people as well are getting more educated, I’m hoping on the flip side of it. That’s my hope, anyway. This is why I think trans people and trans children, the more visibility there is, then it becomes more normal that these people exist and theyre just the same as everybody else. That’s what I’m hoping. But yeah, it’s scary as well to see the anti trans stuff that’s been published and particularly the way that Mermaids has been accused of being like some sort of political organisation that’s pushing parents to turn their children trans and it’s just ridiculous. I just have to do my little bit to try and educate the people.

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Misinformation about trans children

Many parents thought that there was a lot of misinformation about trans children and trans people in the media and public debate (see ‘Parents and carers acting as advocates for their trans and gender diverse children‘). Lisa felt that negative media coverage of trans issues was caused ‘by a lack of information and understanding.’ She said: ‘Nobody really understands the issue, therefore it’s always gonna be difficult to find objective information amongst all the hate and misinformation that’s available.’ She compared the situation to how people with different sexual orientation were treated in the past. She said: ‘I hope that, over time that will change, just as the treatment of anybody with any different sort of sexuality as opposed to straight can now, you know, now feels more widely accepted in society, I hope that’s the way that we’re going with the transgender issue.’
Ali and Andrew thought that some of the public debate is dominated by people who had no experience with trans children or who did not understand them. Lesley felt there was a lot of scaremongering in relation to how trans children and their families were being portrayed in the public debate.

Ali thought there were a lot of uninformed opinions about trans children and these could undermine the support that exists for young trans people.

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There’s lot of people who have an opinion on gender issues who have no idea about what diversity means. To be also understanding that [sighs] that as I say there’s a lot of uninformed opinions. There’s a lot of people who are professionals and you think are supposed to be supportive who then undermine the support that you think’s there. Sorry, I’m referring, referring to the idea that adolescents have been fast tracked through onto hormone therapy. If anything our experience has been the exact opposite.

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Andrew felt coverage of trans children in the media was sensationalist and focused on opinions of people who did not have trans children.

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Well it seems to be on TV now, fairly regularly, the issues of transgender kids and adults. But the quality of the programmes I don’t think is very good.

What do you think is wrong with them?

it’s all a bit tabloid. They talk about transgender kids and families and they interview parents and but I’m, I, unless you’ve got a child that’s going through it, it’s these parents don’t really ever understand. I’ve seen some negative stuff on TV. Parents who don’t have transgender kids, giving their opinions on transgender kids. What do they know? They think it’s wrong. They think it’s a, anti-religious. They think it’s whatever. They think it’s wrong. But they don’t understand what they’re talking about, some of these parents, the negative parents that express that, you know.

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The way the media talk about trans children

Some parents we spoke to found the public debate and the media coverage of trans children upsetting. Many felt the media attention was negative and not objective. The negative media messages ‘baffled’ Josie as she could not understand why some newspapers could have such a ‘strong agenda’. It also made her worry about the future. She also spoke about writing to newspapers to challenge negative representations of trans children.

Josie felt the public debate on trans children in the UK was very negative. It made her angry and it also made her worry.

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Public debate. I mean, some of it’s, you know, some it’s really, some of it’s perfectly positive and I get that. But certainly in the UK it’s really very negative at the moment and really worrying.

Does it affect you personally?

Yeah. Yeah, it does. It makes me feel sad and it makes me feel worried about the future and it makes me feel angry some of the things. And eventually it all starts to wear you down and you kind of, you start to try and—I try to step back from it sometimes, but other times, you know, you know I’m writing letters to people and, you know, write letters to the papers and stuff, because it yeah, a lot of it’s just really unfair and wrong.

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For Leigh, the negative media coverage was affecting her foster son, who felt unsafe and worried whenever there was a story about trans children on TV. Leigh thought the media needed ‘reigning in’ because of the negative impact it had on young trans people. At the same time, she felt that media attention was ‘a double edged sword.’ She said: ‘It needs to be out there. People need to be educated, they need to know that trans kids are there and they are real.’

Leigh talked about the negative impact of media stories about trans children on her trans foster son.

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When there’s any negativity in the media, he feels like he has to roll himself back up into a ball a little bit. He feels he has to come back into the house to protect himself. So he doesnt go out as much when there’s been bad publicity. A lot of the programmes that have been on, on TV he worries the whole of the next week if anybody’s going to say anything in school. He steers clear of certain areas, because he knows theyre not as inclusive as other places. And he shouldnt have to do that at 13, 14. He shouldnt have to be wary and have to watch his back just for being who he is. But the press, they need, that needs reining in, because the amount of kids that are struggling after the bad, after the bad stories have been out.

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Visibility of trans children as a positive thing

Increase in positive visibility and representation of trans and gender diverse young people in the public debate is a positive thing. At the same time, increase in media coverage where it is negative may draw more negative attention to trans and gender diverse people and their loved ones in their everyday lives.
Still, many parents we spoke to felt that, whilst there was significant negativity in the media, increased visibility and representation of trans people was a positive thing. For example, Kate said: ‘It’s good that there’s debate and discussion. And there is more awareness.’ Oonagh felt that the more visibility there is in the media and public debate, the more acceptance there will be that trans people exist. It could also help young people feel less like it is something they can’t talk to their parents about or feel ashamed about (Richard). In addition, for Ross such exposure was important to educate more people about trans issues and eliminate the taboo around being trans. Mel thought that despite the negative media coverage, increased visibility meant that people were beginning to think about and question their own and society’s ideas about gender.

Kate thought that the increased visibility will lead to more acceptance of trans people. She felt things have improved over the last decade, but also thought that we were not there yet.

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Some things make me really cross. Some things make me really hopeful. I think that it’s good that it’s now not so you know, a hidden taboo kind of thing. I think that that will lead to more acceptance. And, you know, so I think it’s good that we’ve, that it’s started and definitely different to how it was ten years ago. I mean, I can’t, when I was at school, I’m sure there were trans kids or kids that wanted to come out as trans, but they didn’t do it at school, there is just no way. So, we have moved forward. I don’t think we’ve moved forward anywhere near enough. I think that it’s still it would be lovely to get to the point where it wasn’t an issue. The head teacher at my son’s previous school when we went to meet him about an issue he was very clear that he wouldn’t stand for this nonsense, not about being trans, about kids bullying him. And he said, The only thing I’m intolerant of is intolerance. I get what he means. But, you know, trans kids aren’t there to be tolerated. They are just kids. So I think, I think we’re moving in the right direction. But I don’t think we are there yet. And but it’s good that there’s debate and discussion. And there is more awareness.

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Ross said more exposure meant more people will get informed about trans issues, even if the media coverage was anti-trans.

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A lot of the media coverage, yes, some of it anti trans. But it doesnt matter, because the trans issue is getting media coverage, which means a certain amount of people are gonna read about it and get some education on it. Where keeping it all hidden and taboo – it remains hidden and taboo forevermore. It’s got, it needs more exposure.

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Mel felt there was a lot of scare mongering in the media when it comes to trans issues, but she also thought the increased visibility meant more people would think and question their own ideas about gender.

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I think there is a lot to be said for the way the media handle a lot of things. And, 98% of the time it’s all fear based. Anything that comes out in the media, you know, a lot of the time, against the trans community and it’s all about fear. it’s all about sort of dividing and causing people to be fearful of something that they don’t understand. And then the other side of that is people confusing gender with sexuality, Oh no, she’s just gay. Not the same thing. The amount of times I have to say that. But, I think what these sorts of conversations are doing now are really getting people to think and research and question their own thoughts and ideals about what they think is, because it’s society that says, Well this is how things should be and this is the status quo and na, na, na, na. I think it’s about time its all been challenged and sort of blown wide open. I think it’s an evolution that needed to happen.

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The public debate about trans children is very polarised

Some of the parents we spoke to thought that the debate around trans children was very conflicting and polarised. E and D felt this was unhelpful and that it could shut down important discussions. E compared the debate on social media about trans children and adults to a ‘trench war.’ For D this meant that discussions were reduced to being ‘pro, or anti-trans.’ Elijah worried that the debate around trans issues could be used by populists. He felt that this happened in the US.

Elijah worried debate around trans issues could be co-opted by right wing and populist forces.

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I have a concern that what is very real, genuine and necessary debate around trans issues is gonna get high jacked by a populist cause. So you have populism in America and the likes of Trump and the American right. And then here you have, it’s been bubbling under for a while, but I don’t want this particular issue—I want this issue to be debated between liberal people of both points of view and discussed and looked at the scientific evidence, come to a conclusion. I don’t want this issue high jacked by right wing nutters who are using it as a populous cause to drum up support for their political, political side. That is my concern.

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E and D thought the debate around trans issues was very polarised, in particular on social media. They felt this was shutting down important discussions.

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Mother: Very polarising, isn’t it.

Father: It is.

Mother: it’s kind of, you said that this is—

Father: I call it trench warfare.

Mother: It makes it difficult to have an unemotional, rational conversation with our children because they immediately say, oh, you are being anti trans. You are being transphobic’ and they don’t like that. I think it makes it very hard to be questioning or exploratory. And I think the trouble with the way social media and Twitter and things work is that, you know, you get furious exchanges and people getting labelled, which isn’t helpful.

Father: Which is not helpful, no. Well, that’s the trouble with social media is that people follow, you get into camps, don’t you and then camps sort of hurl abuse at each other and that, that’s doesn’t help at all.

Mother: I think it’s really unhelpful the way that that’s happening. And it feels like debate is being shut down instead of actually opening it up. it’s not healthy at all or, you know, there’s only, there’s only one politically correct way to be. And I think that that’s difficult isn’t it.

Father: I think so.

Mother: If you’re not, if you’re not sort of automatically assuming that everyone should take hormones and have surgery then you are somehow, you’re therefore very anti.

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Parents we spoke to also had views about the future of public debate. Mel said that although there is more acceptance for trans and gender diverse children now, she is not sure if that will translate into a more positive future. Other parents we spoke to were nevertheless hopeful. For example, Lisa said: ‘I hope that, over time that [the lack of acceptance of trans children] will change, just as the treatment of anybody with any different sort of sexuality as opposed to straight, now feels more widely accepted in society.’

Interview 1 spoke about how parents are advocates for their trans children in all areas of life and the emotional toll when facing hostility.

In the first couple of years, it’s a lot of work to advocate for your child, cause you start off with, there’s the point in which the parent says, okay, I will accept my child as a girl’, but then, there’s suddenly the moment when you’re like, oh, okay’ and you kind of think of all the other people in your child’s life which there’s lots of once you start like, you know, swimming teacher, gym teachers. You know, there’s a lot of people in their life, grandparents and doctor and you suddenly realise youve got to help your child like youve got to advocate for your child with all these people in her life. And that’s really, really a lot of work and it’s a lot of, it can be a lot of hostility from different individuals. And it’s really, really emotionally hard work.

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See also what people we spoke to said about parents acting as advocates for their children, finding support and finding information.
You can read, listen and watch young trans and gender diverse people share their experiences here [link to young people’ module].

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