at that time he was pretty young and he wasn’t a puppy-puppy but he was still a puppy and so having not only that purpose but to have a companion to have someone that well, it’s a dog and they’re always excited to see you and I was always exited to be around him. It was great in the car, I loved taking him places so even if you know before when I was in the worst of it, I didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything, when he was there, I wanted to get him out, you know, like, go to the dog park and go on walks and just go on a car ride and stick your head out the window, you know, so that was extremely helpful for me.

I love my pets. I have a dog, Toby, a cat, Char, and then I have a turtle.

Uh-huh.

Slowsky, and they’re like my best friends [laughs]. In like a really unhealthy way. Yeah, I can’t imagine not having pets, I’ve always had pets and it’s just really nice to come home and have someone unconditionally love you. And even if I like go down to get the mail and come back my dog is so excited to see me, it’s like I’ve been gone for a week (both laugh). You know, it’s just a really nice validating feeling you know that there’s someone that cares 100% who looks at you like you’re the greatest thing ever and that’s a really good feeling. And it’s also, I get such enjoyment just like staying at home and petting my animals and I could like watch my cat watch birds for like an hour.

And be totally fine doing that. Sometimes I do feel like it’s a little isolating because there are times where I’ll make plans with someone and in the moment I’m just like yeah, I totally want to get coffee and then it will be like the day that we’re supposed to go and I’ll be like I kind of just want to stay home and play with my cat [both laugh].

I knew that I was either destined to not be alive or be alone for, for the rest of my life and that’s when my little dog came up to me into my room, because I left my door open and he jumped onto my bed and fell asleep. And I guess you could say that was the second push to try and get more help, because I didn’t want to leave him all alone because none of the rest of my family except for my sister acknowledges him. So I kind of made a vow to help my dog, because he’s not going through the best of times either, with his arthritis and everything. So I was like I’m going to keep living to until he’s lived a full life and I’m going to remain living to honor him and how he stopped me because if it wasn’t for my dog walking in, I probably would have been gone already.

I’ve had him since I was 9. And I’ve always tried to protect and kept him away from a lot of things and did my best to make sure he was loved and cared for. So even to this day sometimes I’ll take him upstairs and he’ll sleep with me for the night and I will give him a treat in the morning and just seeing him really happy kind of makes me forget about all the stuff that has happened to me and what’s going on in life right now and kind of just, mainly focuses on him.

It wasn’t because I had a boyfriend, it wasn’t because I felt like I had a bunch to live for, it was because I had two cats at home that had been with me since they were kittens that would have no idea why I wasn’t coming home anymore. They would have, I didn’t know if my boyfriend would continue to take care of them, he’s not a cat person. He only puts up with them because they help me. I, they are my reason to live most of the time and sometimes they are the only things that I can feel love for. I can just sit there and you know I can just sit here watching TV and one will be on the back of the couch and one on the cat tree and one on the window seal and I can see them all in this line of vision, I can just look at them and they’re. It fills me with love and hope and you know, I am there entire world if that doesn’t make you want to live for something, I don’t know what will. Being, you know your pet is such a tiny part of your world. You are literally everything to them. You are food, you are water, you are shelter, you are safety, you are love, you are their God and they love you for it and it shows. When I’m upset, when I’m crying, at least one if not all three of them come and curl up with me and start purring.

I’ve had pets. I made sure I had pets (laughs). That I actually, um, back in 2010 I got real sick and, I went and bought two little kittens from the Humane Society and I had them till, up to I wanna say last year. I had to give them to my dad’s girlfriend because I couldn’t have them in the house since they were getting ready to sell it and my dad was getting all prepared you know and, uh, I wasn’t able to afford it, I needed my own place. But I can go see them whenever I want but the one cat played a huge factor in my life, he’s the one that kept me going. Because he had such a personality and I seem to find animals that have a lot of personality. I got my daughter a rabbit for her birthday and my dad has a cat and the bunny and the cat love to lay next to each other on the couch and it was, it’s like they’re best friends. They chase each other around the house (laughs). I mean it’s just, it’s just they’re just, give me time to not focus on myself and just get a break.

And kind of, I guess it’s like a stress reliever too for me, like just holding them and stuff like that cause it’s just like, it’s a comfort having them and sometimes you need that. Especially if you feel alone.

I like to like, my rabbit right there. I like to grab her and hug her. She’s nice and chubby, so it’s a good squeeze. Just, I don’t know, it just makes me feel happy. It’s just, animals have this way of like, you know that they can tell how you’re feeling and they want to help and it’s really nice. Like when I’m sad, my cat, she knows. She’ll come and rrrr and purr.

It’s funny because they represent me so much in a certain way. Walter always wants to be pet, petted and he always wants you to give him all the pets and he’s super outgoing and super loving. He’ll just sit on someone’s lap, like brand new person, never been in the house before. He’ll just sit on their lap and get hair everywhere all over them, you know. He loves it. Richard is more standoffish. He doesn’t like being picked up. He’s not the friendliest cat. He’ll let you pet him if he feels like it. So it’s funny because I think they’re both like parts of me. They both, they both reflect parts of my personality which is really cute, I feel. Because Walter always wants attention and I’m super outgoing and I always want to make new friends, and then parts of me are like, when I get depressed or when I’m like feeling anxious, I’m like I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, like. I just want to do my own thing, you know, put my headphones in and zone out, you know, like. It’s like cats.