At the age of fifteen when I met my boyfriend, that’s when I first tried Coke, Cocaine, had my first line of Cocaine at the age of fifteen, no sixteen that’s a lie, sixteen, and since, and then, obviously still drinking every single weekend, every single weekend still just drinking Vodka and just trying to get obviously completely and utterly para, but then as I said got introduced to Cocaine, so that kind of started coming in at the weekends as well.

But you had tried Cocaine also?

Yeah when I was about fifteen, I was in school, I tried Cannabis, and Cocaine. I got into Cocaine because me and my friend, she was older than me, she was a couple of years older than me, we went round to this boy’s house and he was a Drug Dealer. And he gave us some, he said, Just try it, you don’t have to. And I thought oh wow I want to try it because it looks fun, everyone’s doing it, I want to see the effect of it’ I was just intrigued to know what it was like, so I did it and it didn’t do anything apart from make me really hyper, like really, and, it made me really energetic put it that way. then at the next day we went round there, we had some more, it got to the point where I was having more and more, I only did it for about a week and a half maximum and I did it every day, and within a week and a half I, I was getting told I was changing, I was becoming a horrible person, I could see in myself, she was my best friend at the time, we went to the chip shop, there was a woman that got served before her, no, she got served before me, yeah I was standing in front of my best friend, I turned round and smacked her round the face because she got served before me, when that happened I thought I have just turned on my best friend’ I am shouting at the chip shop man, I became so aggressive that I stopped taking it just didn’t appeal to me anymore.

And I think now, at that time I wasn’t really aware that it can be mashed Paracetamol and, packet washing-up powder, everything is in it if, nothing here in England is a hundred percent Cocaine, it’s probably about two percent and the, other, rest of it is all stuff mixed in together, and I think if I knew the effects that, like if I knew like how much, the small percentage of it what it was back then I don’t think I would have done it, but I, it is going to sound silly but I am glad I done it because I can say, I have done it, I have experienced it, I would not do it again. I am lucky that I am not addicted to it or anything like that. I wouldn’t ever go near Crack or anything like that, I would never go near that, I am not stupid enough, I know the effects of that, but now I know the effects of Cocaine, what it can do to you and stuff like that I wouldn’t go and touch that stuff again. People have said to me, Oh do you want to again now? I wouldn’t do it now because I’ve got a daughter, if I didn’t have her maybe.

But when I was seventeen, I’ve been in a violent relationship since I was fifteen as well, so kind of I think all that adds to it as well, but then obviously not living at home and having that stability, no obviously I know it’s my own fault but, and then as I was seventeen really bad experience happened in my life and I turned to Cocaine because I was working as a well so I had money, I had no child then, and every single weekend, even during the week I was just going out and, that was my escape route, but then every morning I would just feel so down and depressed and everything would just seem a thousand times worse, but then I’d go out and do it again and that’s all I wanted to do, I didn’t want to deal with anything head on I just wanted to go and just get obliviated that’s what I wanted to do, that was my aim.

Around that time when I had tried ecstasy and I was in that sort of music scene, I had tried cocaine a couple of times which, I didn’t really feel anything from it at all, it just, it didn’t seem to have any effect to be honest , I never tried it by itself I’d only tried it once I’d had ecstasy but I didn’t notice any sort of immediate effects from it and so I only tried it I think two, maybe three times, never again because I just didn’t see the point and it didn’t seem to have any effect on me.

Were you using more than one drug at a time for instance if you were at a party or

Yes I was at a party I would be drinking alcohol. For me I call alcohol a drug because it has some worse effects than some drugs. For me a drug is any substance that alters your body’s natural functions. So yeah alcohol, I’d be drinking alcohol. I would smoke a spliff and be on coke. So yeah.

How did you feel there? The morning after?

Horrible, disgusting, just wanted to shrivel up in a ball. Oh it was the worst feeling, horrible. And I used to get chest pains as well because obviously cocaine is a stimulant so it makes you fast and alcohol and cannabis are depressants so I could sometimes feel like my heart was pushing differently like it was working against something, I could physically feel that.

So you were. Were you concerned at that time or?

Yeah I was concerned but I just pushed it to the back of my mind.

I was a drug taker and that but I was getting right off my brain like, I’d eat 3 or 4 tablets like in one go and be like eyes rolling in the back of my head and falling around and that. And I thought it was hilarious, what after I thought it was hilarious. I didn’t think it was hilarious like a day later when I’m lying in bed sweating and trying to be sick and basically feeling that I don’t exist anymore like. Do you know what I mean? And proper horrible or on a base’ come down where you’re sort of like trying to have breakfast and you’re putting the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard like. Do you know what I mean? Just completely shot through it.

This was the come down from base’ and ecstasy and did various things. It depends. Like the comedown depended on what you were taking like, you know. Some of the tablets we were getting were cut heavily like you could tell. People were saying they were cut with ketamine. At that time I didn’t really understand what ketamine was. But now I, from experience now I know they had ketamine in it because ecstasy doesn’t make you hallucinate the way I, we were hallucinating off those pills.