And I remember… because I wasn’t that ill. I think I came round quite quickly. I was able to feed my daughter in intensive care. That was quite nice because they said; they’d never had a baby brought up before. And that was quite good, because I insistent I was going to feed her. Even though they did insist on bottle feeding her overnight, on the ward, which I was really cross about and my husband was really cross about.
So you know, this sort of thing was quite difficult and they were supposed to send a courier up to get pumped milk in the middle of the night and it was my responsibility to do it, but I was, you know, off my head on morphine.
What do you mean it was your responsibility to do it?
I had to ask, you know, because you have a nurse at the end of your bed, and I was really, I was feeling really rather poorly and I was on morphine pump, every, you know, four minutes or whatever, and so I had to say to her, “I want, I think I should pump now, some milk.” And then she would do it, sort it out, and then she would call for the courier to come and get it. It was all on me, you know, and I just wasn’t able to do it, you know, I just, I wasn’t really that aware of what was going on. And so baby was cup fed overnight which really annoyed me. Because they really didn’t need to do that, you know, but it was just easier for the post natal staff to do it.
So where was she overnight then?
On the ward.
No, well no they put them in I think there’s a little room off the nurses’ station where they put babies that but yes, that felt bad actually, you know.
And did you have any problems with the suction breast feeding?
No. No I knew, well I find it easy with, not easy at first actually because it’s never easy at first is it? But I knew that I could do it because I had breast fed my son. And so, and it was just, I was just insistent that I was going to do it. Because I haven’t even, I haven’t managed this natural birth that I wanted, there’s no way that I’m not feeding this baby, and the breast feeding counsellor was actually very negative and said, “You know, I don’t think you’ll be able to.” And I was like, “I think I will actually.” Until she brought up.
And actually she came up first and squeezed some colostrum out and she said, “Oh yes, you have managed.” I said, “Yes, yes, thank you.” And then she relented and she brought the baby up, and it fed quite happily and then they took it away again. It was all very strange, because it was the first time I’d seen the baby properly and yet there was five people there. So I felt that I couldn’t have, I couldn’t be over… oh it was very odd and I was on morphine as well, and I was just, you know, and so I wanted to have, you know, a nice moment with my baby and yet it just wasn’t really at all [laughs]. And I couldn’t hold her properly because I still had like a central line in and tube down my nose and it was all, you know. It was all very difficult so…