Eriife

Eriife breastfed her older child and is also breastfeeding her new baby. The support from her husband and her clinic was important in making her decision.

Although Eriife was born with HIV, she was diagnosed in her early 20s. She had a period of illness in the early 2010s which led to her GP referring her to the hospital for blood tests. Although she had never had sex, after numerous tests, medical staff suggested she was tested for sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. When she was given her HIV diagnosis Eriife felt shock and ange. She later found out that her father died of AIDS related complications, and that she had been tested for HIV when she was a baby, but her test had been negative.

Eriife felt there was a missed opportunity to learn her HIV diagnosis earlier. A few years before her diagnosis she had wanted to donate blood, but her mother had told her not to do it. Eriife believes that had she tried to donate blood at that time, she would have had a health screening and learned her HIV diagnosis sooner. After the initial shock of finding out, her medical team have helped her come to terms with her diagnosis.

Eriife’s husband (who does not have HIV) knows about her and her mother’s HIV status. She asked him not to share it with his family, explaining that if he did, it would have implications for her mother as well.

Eriife had always wanted to breastfeed, as breastfeeding [is] all I;ve ever seen from aunties, cousins, family, that’s all I;ve ever see. She breastfed her older child as well and wanted her children to have the health benefits from breastmilk. She finds the regular blood tests and her baby’s reaction to them difficult and remembered that her husband used to take their older child for the blood tests.

As well as the health and bonding benefits, breastfeeding meant there was little risk of wider family and friends finding out about her HIV diagnosis. Eriife mainly sought breastfeeding support through her community and leaflets she was given. She did not speak with other mothers living with HIV.

Eriife is pleased with the new UK HIV and infant feeding guidelines. She remembered that the message when she breastfed her first child was you do it at your own ris, but the language in the new guidelines has changed to be more balanced and informative.

Eriife found that unlike her first baby, her second baby found the blood tests troubling.

Age at interview 33

My first daughter got discharged and she was fine and I thought, ‘okay let’s, I mean if she’s done it and she is fine then there should be no problem with my second baby.’ The only reservation I had, and I still do have and I just have get through it is the injections once a month that they have to get blood test.

I am considering taking my, this one off a bit earlier because she’s not taking to the blood tests as easy as my first daughter was so that’s the only reservation they have to get pricked every, once a month and it’s not nice to watch.

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Eriife was born with HIV and shared that her mum was worried about her going to a support group.

Age at interview 33

I really wanted to go to this HIV charity. I really wanted to join them when I got diagnosed but I got stopped by my mum because she knew, “if you meet somebody you know there, what if, what if?” I’ve kind of got over that because now I’m an adult I’m like, I’m an adult and mother, okay.

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Eriife grew up seeing mothers around her breastfeeding and considered it “something natural to do”.

Age at interview 33

Why was that important to be able to breastfeed?

That’s all I’ve ever seen to be honest. I think yeah, I think it’s more subconsciously breastfeeding that’s all I’ve ever seen from aunties, cousins, family, that’s all I’ve ever seen so it kind of, it kind of for me is something natural to do and also of course the benefits that you get from that I was told, especially by my family, like cousins that have had children and stuff, they really advocated for breastfeeding, they fed, although they fed their babies till like they were past one which I don’t think I would, I’m going to do] yes, no the benefits of, you know, the babies milk, the especially the first six months of breastfeeding it was just better than bottle.

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Eriife struggled with new mother issues like getting enough to eat and sleep.

Age at interview 33

The only issues are with the way, the typical every other mother thinks, whether you have HIV or not, is when you’re tired and you haven’t eaten properly and, you know, you have to now quickly eat because you need breast and stuff like that. Those are the only, but those are not related to my condition, those are just new mother issue.

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Eriife shared her HIV status with her boyfriend at the time, who later became her husband.

Age at interview 33

It was not easy; it was not easy at all because thankfully he’s the only one I’ve- I had to tell. I didn’t have to go through many relationships and then loads of people know my situation, which, to be honest I feel relieved, but he took it; he was very surprised to be honest. I think he was in a bit of shock because I kept telling him, “I have to tell you something very important,” and he think he just thought I couldn’t have children, so he was like, “Okay that’s fine. Is that it?” [laughs]. So when I did tell him, he had no idea obviously what it is, how like, yeah and obviously, all he has heard obviously is what is in the mainstream news and stuff, so I had to first explain and stuff like that and I had to ask him not to tell his family, because he was going to tell his mum. I said, “No, we’re not married, so I don’t think I want that. So, waits, let’s get married.”

Other people will know my business, so I had to ask him to keep it to himself which he respects. And yes so, he, what I did do is to just kind of help him with information. I organised a meeting with my doctor with him so that he could like explain in detail and answer any questions that I couldn’t answer that he had. Yeah so, we booked our meeting, and I was willing to not even be there to be honest, but he wanted me there. And so, he asked the doctor all the questions he had and yeah and the doctor answered the questions and yeah and that was that and to my surprise he took a, he took a test without me knowing and he just messaged me, ‘oh I’m negative.’ I’m like ‘for what?’ So, you know, it just to kind of let me know I’m with you in this kind of thing.

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Eriife received consistent and clear guidance from her clinical team and it made her feel reassured.

Age at interview 33

Yeah she was very good at explaining things, what I should and shouldn’t do. My doctor was very adamant for just exclusively to breastfeeding, always, reminding me not to mix and stuff like that. Yeah, so, the team have been so, the team have been so good that I haven’t had any, thankfully, I haven’t had bad experience of that. Probably that’s why I’ve had, I’ve had been settled about breastfeeding, because any questions I had, any concerns I had, I always got them answered, so I was, yeah.

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