Sinead

Sinead was diagnosed when she was pregnant with her first child. She formula fed both of her children, to avoid any risk of HIV transmission. A local charity has supported her with formula milk.

Sinead was diagnosed with HIV when she was pregnant with her first child. She had been contacting her GP for several years about different symptoms but never been offered an HIV test. She now understands that they were symptoms of advanced HIV. Both Sinead and her partner are living with HIV.

Sinead had formula fed her older child and has done the same with her new baby. Before Sinead was pregnant with her second child, the UK infant feeding guidelines had changed to allow the option of breastfeeding under certain conditions. However, Sinead was not informed about these changes by her medical team. Looking back, Sinead says that she would have chosen to formula feed even if she had known about the new guidelines. For her, removing all risk of HIV transmission was the most important thing to do.

With both of her children, Sinead has received free formula milk from a local HIV charity. Despite this, she is reluctant to attend any HIV peer support groups, because she is worried about coming across somebody she knows. Besides her partner, only a select number of family and friends know about Sinead’s HIV status.

Sinead wondered what the people around her thought about her not breastfeeding, but never felt pressured.

Age at interview 42

Age at diagnosis 37

I’ve not had any actual comments or people kind of asking why I’m formula feeding or yeah or questioning it really. wouldn’t say though that I haven’t felt like not under pressure but I think there is a kind of pressure out there for breastfeeding and I think that there is somebody that I met more recently who’s part of a massive breastfeeding network and promoting breastfeeding and she helps people with it and we were having a conversation and she knew because that I bottle fed baby and she wasn’t asking me or even saying anything, she was actually being more like “but it doesn’t work for everybody and that’s okay.” You could see that she was trying to be like, you know, “as much as I want people to do it and I try and help people to do it, I’m not judging people who are not doing it.”

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Sinead chose to formula feed both of her babies, and each time she received formula milk through a local HIV organisation.

Age at interview 42

Age at diagnosis 37

So, yeah it was like last time around, it was much more I would go and meet the support worker and collect the milk whether it be from the office itself or sometimes it would be from the clinic if we were kind of coincided at the time. And that was every four weeks or every month, you’d pick up four cartons of formula. This time around because of Covid, it’s not been as easy to do that and then obviously we went into lockdown at the end of last year so milk, she’s actually been getting it delivered to me this time around. I did meet up with her like two or three times kind of in the period just after baby was born and yeah I met up with her a couple of times at, at HIV clinic to hand it over but then since it’s just been getting posted out to me.

She did, now, now that I come to think of it. When I first went back, when I first met the support worker the first time around, she did ask me if I wanted to get involved with peer support stuff and do get involved with the charity work that they do but because my partner and I don’t, we’re not, we’re got very few people that know about our diagnosis, it’s like very close family and a couple of friends on each side. I decided not to just because yeah, not that you don’t know who you’re gonna meet but I also work in the voluntary sector so I’m much more likely to see people I know, so that was another reason I didn’t really get involved in the charity side of things as well so yeah.

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Sinead found out about the BHIVA guidelines after she had given birth to her second child. She is pleased breastfeeding as an option, but it would not have affected her decision to formula feed her second baby.

Age at interview 42

Age at diagnosis 37

I think that’s a really good thing that people are being encouraged to do it if they can. I don’t think it would have impacted our decision if I had known that. I don’t think it would have impacted the decision having done it once the way that we did it and felt that that was safe and it was good. But yeah I do think it’s good that it’s an encouragement for new mums. I think if there’s more and more research and support to show the risks involved or the lack of risk involved I think that’s the thing I kind of needed kind of more reassurance for me to go down that route. But yeah, I think it’s definitely a good thing.

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