Alistair

Gender: Male

Pronouns: He / Him / His

Alistair is a trans man. He has a female partner. Alistair believes he felt trans from as young as eight but did not know how to express it, I think looking back on photos and stuff I can sort of tell I was quite uncomfortable but I wasn’t sure why at the time He was not interested in girly things and was very tomboyish as a child.

He was very nervous about approaching his GP for a referral to gender identity services but found the initial appointment very anti-climactic as his GP said that she didn’t know anything about it and that could I come back another appointment when she knew more The length of the waiting list was a problem for Alistair I knew the waiting list would be ridiculou but felt for his mental health he had no choice but to go private. Alistair describes the hormonal changes on Testosterone as very mood swingy, very irrational, very hungry, very sleepy [laughter] so just like a teenager really

He explains that I haven’t been out and passing for that long, I used to think it was like the be all and end all and now I think it’s less important because I know like who I am myself so I don’t really need anyone to validate it anymore He does advise others starting hormones to be patient with yourself and not expect the changes to come straight away because I feel like at one point I was looking in the mirror every day like what’s changed mmmm nothing

Alistair has legally changed his name by Deed Poll and I don’t really want to be Mx because that’s not me I want to be Mr but I can’t be Mr because it would erase all my medical history which I don’t feel like is accurate but that’s what they sai. When asked about services for trans people he thinks everyone on the waiting list should have access to regular counselling and that all health professionals should have some basic knowledge of how to talk to transgender people.

Alistair talks about his decision to only have top surgery.

Age at interview 22

Top surgery’s like the only one I can really see myself having I think at the start of my transition I was really wanting to have bottom surgery as well because I thought it was really important whereas now I don’t think it is at all, so I think maybe that’s just me being a bit more comfortable and like accepting of some, because for me anyway I feel like bottom surgery’s kind of trying to have something that I won’t have. But I know people feel differently but like for me it doesn’t feel important because I’m not going to be a cis man so it’s kind of okay. So yeah top surgery for me is like the only one I would have.

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Alistair talks about their privilege position being from a white middle class family and its impact when accessing healthcare services.

Age at interview 22

I think I’m in a very privileged position because I’m from like a white middle class family and I think that, if that’s what you mean, I think like going to my GP and knowing exactly what to ask for and being someone that like is lucky in that I’m white and like I kind of come across quite articulate, I think I kind of got a better reaction, I mean she still didn’t know what she was talking about but she like found out whereas I think if I’d have come from like maybe a different background or been more unsure or not, maybe not been with the University health service GP it would have been a really different experience. So I think I’ve been luckier than others.

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Alistair describes his “worst experience with the NHS”: having his dead name come up on the admin system. “It was really embarrassing”.

Age at interview 22

My worst experience with the NHS was when they, so I had to, it took me quite a while to change my name on the health system and, but I’d taken a deed poll and said you need to change my name on the sort of health system because I have appointments every month so I’m gonna be coming again, you know, like. And they for some reason didn’t and then I kind of was about three months on T and I’d gone to the GP and they’d like called the, you know, when it comes up on the screen and it would be like my dead name and it was really embarrassing and then I’d gone in to have my injection and it was a woman that had seen me before and she was like just dead named me the whole time and I was like you what, and I was really confused and like, because I’m not very confrontational so at the time I was quite like whatever and then I wrote a complaint to them and we kind of had it out about that and then there was loads of confusion about if you can change your title when, then it like erases your whole medical history and that’s been a constant like battle with that I don’t wanna I don’t really want to be Mx because that’s not me I want to be Mr but I can’t be Mr because it would erase all my medical history which I don’t feel like is accurate but that’s what they said, so.

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