Charlotte first experienced depression when she was about 16 but did not understand why she was experiencing such a persistent low mood. She had been self-harming for about 3 years by this point and was feeling upset and distressed. She said that she had not known who or where to ask for help, and that she had not wanted to tell her parents. By this point, she found that she was struggling with her studies at university and felt isolated despite having a number of good friends. She eventually went to see her GP when she was about 19, as a friend suggested that she should speak to a doctor about how she was feeling. Her GP diagnosed depression and prescribed her with an antidepressant. She felt they made no difference, other than they making her feel sick and lethargic. However, she explained that it was a relief to be diagnosed.

It was kind of a relief to know that that’s what it was even though I’d kind of for a couple of years then been thinking yes I think I am depressed and I’m suffering from it, it was a relief and he said to me then as well this is something that you’ll probably experience again throughout your life and you’ll get better at recognising the symptoms.’

Charlotte continued with fluoxetine for a few months but then her doctor prescribed venlafaxine which worked almost immediately and she stayed on this treatment for about a year and a half. Charlotte initially suffered with headaches, nausea and dizziness from taking venlafaxine but persevered with the treatment. The initial side effects stopped after a time and her mood lifted. Charlotte explained that she has been on and off venlafaxine about 5 times since she was 20 years old. Charlotte did not feel too concerned about taking antidepressants and thought that if they made her feel normal’ again that she was happy to take them. Charlotte explained that she felt the first time she was prescribed antidepressants the GP just gave her the prescription, but she received very little information other than leaflets.

Charlotte feels that often her experiences of depression have been reactive to stressful life events. She currently takes venlafaxine, initially at a relatively high dose but more recently the dose has been reduced to a level which seems to maintain her equilibrium. Charlotte has learned to live with depression and has got better at recognising and managing signs of a depressive period. She has found work a helpful distraction from thinking about her personal life during difficult times and a useful tool in managing her feelings of depression.

Charlotte feels it is important to be open with her friends and colleagues about her depression because she says bottling things up can make you feel worse. She has found that the majority of people are understanding and supportive.

I’ve actually been really open about it because I just think there’s no point lying about something like that, it is going to affect you and it’s going to affect work sometimes so I’ve just been completely open. It’s, having depression is not something I’ve ever been embarrassed about, it’s just part of me.’

Charlotte feels it is important for health professionals to offer patients a range of different options rather than just antidepressants. In 2006, Charlotte decided to access private counselling as she felt ready to address her problems. Although it was expensive she felt it was worth doing but said that not everyone would be able to fund private sessions. In her own case, Charlotte doesn’t mind taking antidepressants but feels that had she been able to access NHS counselling services when she was diagnosed that things would have been different for her.

I’d hope that I wouldn’t have to take them throughout my life but I have resigned myself to the fact that I may well have future depressive episodes so I will have to take them‚ I would say to people to take them definitely although it doesn’t cure the problems – you need to seek other help as well and you do need to get counselling or some other talking therapy because tablets on their own aren’t beneficial.’

She also finds complementary therapies such as meditation and mindfulness useful. She has also increased the amount of exercise she does which makes a big impact on her wellbeing.