We’re not how do I say rampant sex addicts if you can put it like that, sex occasionally is still fine. it’s a little bit more difficult but it works if you know what I mean. I mean sex is how, what you make it if you know what I mean and at our age it isn’t the important thing it was when you’re young, if you know what I mean. When you first get married it seems to be the most important thing of your life but you get older and it doesn’t take on that mantle so much.

Well you’ve got to be positive. I’m a great believer the surgeon said to me, People who are positive, number one recover quicker, number two have more chance of a recovery and number three if you keep positive you’ll be positive all the way through anything that comes up And I think it’s true.

How long was it before you were able to see the results of the operation?

Well what I’d got left you mean? [Chuckles]. Probably the third day, third or fourth day, can’t remember exactly. First two days I know definitely I was all wrapped up and just had the pipe coming up from – that was wrapped up down there. And it was the – it must have been the fourth day because the third day they changed the dressing on my leg where they’d taken the skin for the skin graft and it was the day after, they the top surgeon came in himself, think he came about half nine, ten, pulled the old curtain round and they were all standing round and prodding – I won’t say prodding and looking but you know what I mean [chuckles] soand he said, O he said that’s great. Ooh I’m pleased with that [Name he said. I said You’re pleased with it [laughs] so I made a joke or something and because obviously I’m laying flat down, I can’t see it at the time but I saw it later if you know what I mean. The fact – bless her it was the Macmillan nurse came out and said, Oh, I hear they’ve taken the band and hear everything’s alright [Name [Name] then became [Name] at the end your, you know, so she sat me up and I could see it and it, you know, obviously it was a bit shocked because it wasn’t the size it was when I last seen it, [chuckles] if you know, but as I said it improved within a couple of months of having the op and you know now basically now it’s not a problem at all, if you know what I mean.

I can only say that the fear and thoughts I had prior to starting the operations didn’t, didn’t come about if you know what I mean, theyI was more impressed with what they were able to do and what they’d done than I thought I would be but I’ve always been a person my cup’s always been half full not half empty which he said helps.

Oh, excellent aftercare because they arranged for when I got home, they arranged for the district nurse here to come in who funny enough I’d met once before when I was seeing a friend who had been ill and she was in there with her, and she came in and came and changed any dressings and checked everything and suchlike and so forth. And in fact the pins I had out from the groin, instead of going back to the hospital, I had it done by own GP did it, which was you know, something for them, they looked and saw everything was going all alright. And one thing I thought was good, every time I went to the hospital either for check-ups or for the operations a letter was sent to my GP and a copy was sent to me so I had, and I’ve got the file, I’ve kept the file of all the hospital visits I’ve had, not only for the cancer because I’ve got a bad back as well. I just have everything in a file so it’s you know, it’s nice to be able torsquo;oh look he is going to be alright’ sort of thing, if you know what I mean, which I thought was very, very good. And they were very, very good. I mean they, whenever I go or went after all the operations I used to get a thing on my mobile phone don’t forget you’ve got an appointment tomorrow at two o’clock’ or whatever it was. They’d always remind me the day before which just – not that I needed reminding – but I always got the reminders.

They looked every time, they actually physically looked at everything, checked that there was no reoccurrence of the cancer and we were probably 20 minutes in there, bits and pieces and so on… and I had as well as just those things I had scans done. I went and had either, I can’t remember what scans I had, a CTI or an MRI or something like that, had scans, I had about seven of those during that period as well because they did the scans to make sure nothing would come back anywhere else sort of thing.

And did you have any blood tests?

Did I have any blood I’m surprised that this arm isn’t theI’ve had more blood taken in the last five years than I’ve lost all the rest of my life. Yes, they used to do blood tests nearly every time I went for just to check. Touch wood and whistle, it was always okay.

I had a pre operational checks i.e. heart and lungs and things to make sure that you’re quite able to have the operation and about a week later I went back in with my wife, and my son took me and we went in and I went and had tests. I had… not electron, atomic scan or somethingI had some other scans, I think they were MRI scans, I had another ECG and everything and I was occupied for about two and a half hours. So then I went back up to the, to the ward and then they said, Right we’re coming to take you down which is what happened. I went down and went through the usual bits and pieces, being given the nurse all date of birth and all that sort of thing. Then I was taken into this outside of the actual surgery or yes surgery is it where they do the operation? Operating theatre – sorry, get in right. And was a very nice anaesthetist who we were chatting and then the next thing I remember I came round in the recovery room, with a very nice nurse sitting there beside me and she said, Well we’ll move you up to your ward in about an hour

I’d had a few problems because they’d taken the catheter out when they came back – this was about two weeks after I’d come back, sorry, I came back and saw then the next day. They took my catheter – I was having trouble… at night and I was having to wear pads because my bladder wasn’t strong enough, it was, I was weeing and then leaking two or three times the first couple of nights so I decided to go, we went and got some pads and suchlike from the chemist and I was wearing them at night and I felt a bitdown then and that was the worst of the whole thing funnily enough and probably a man thing, you don’t want to wet the bed if you know what I mean but… Then I know exact date, it was the 13th of September I was back in to see them and they did some tests and they found that my bladder was still three quarters full after I’d just passed water and they said, Oh, there’s something wrong here derererrdquo; Anyway the surgeon was called and he came in, saw me and he said, Right, you’re being kept in and I’m going to have a look at that in a couple of days So I wasn’t very happy about that purely because it was my birthday and I was meant to be taking the whole family out for dinner that night. It probably saved me money but that wasn’t the main thing on my mind at the time. Anyway, I went in and I had the op about two days later, they didn’t do it the next day, I think they was going to do it but there was an emergency or something and they said, Terribly sorry you’re going to be, it won’t be today it’ll be tomorrow So thatanyway I then had that op and the…I was a bit woozy coming round. It was on the Friday the op, on the Saturday my wife and my daughter came up to see me, I remember them coming but don’t remember much about it. And Sunday morning the surgeon came round to see me and he said, Wel he said all good news, everything’s sorted out, I’ve sorted your water works ou and he said from now on you’ll be peeing like a twenty three year ol and I can honestly say I am but we won’t go into that! [chuckles] I’m, he’s really you know, sorted it all out.

So what were your immediate thoughts when you were given that diagnosis?

I wasn’t happy But there again they’ve gone from seeing my GP to bump, bump, bump and seeing another surgeon in another hospital by which time the word resigned isn’t really what I want to say but by which time all I wanted was it to be dealt with and obviously the sooner the better because we all know or think some cancers are different I know but you think the longer it goes on the worse it’s going to get sort of thing and so you want to get it done so I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t as downbeat and as down funnily enough as I thought I’d be. I had all the support of my family by then because they knew and that was when my wife was very, very good about it, my son and my daughter they were all very good and basically I’ve always been a fairly cheerful bloke so you know I wasn’t, I wouldn’t say I was going out and dancing the fandango but I certainly wasn’t as low as one or two people who were in the hospital were when I kind of got in there and had the op. I think it’s just in people’s make up how they are if you know what I mean.

I didn’t tell the wife that I’d probably got it until it was a hundred per cent confirmed because I saw no point in worrying her and the rest of the family until we knew exactly what it was and what was going to happen and um my wife came with me to all the consultant visits and she sat inside while I was being – she didn’t go out like some wives disappear out while the husband’s being – I said, No she can stay and berdquo; she was there the whole time so she knew probably, she used to ask a few questions that I wouldn’t have asked, if you know what I mean [chuckles].

So when you did break the news to your family and maybe friends, how did you go about it, how did you reveal it to them?

Well Isorrymy wife came with me to the one and I knew that I hadn’t told her but when it was announced she was there so she found out the same time as I did. She burst into tears bless her and funnily enough, it sounds daft but the fact that I had kept it from her was a help because I knew and I was able to comfort her which was probably strange. You’d probably think it was other way, that it was me, but she was fine in a couple of minutes, the surgeon was very good.

They looked at everything and they said, Right, we’re going to do another op through your nodules because we’re not – we’re virtually sure everything’s clear but there’s just one nodule that might be a bit dodgy so I don’t want to leave it and then realise we should have done something about i so told me come back, it’ll be about another week, ten days and again I came in two days earlier to have all the usual checks that you can have, you can have the operation, the pre-operation checks I think they’re called. I came back in, had the second op which funnily enough was a little bit more painful when I came round, but only for two or three hours, and then I think I was only in hospital about five days that time. It should have been seven or eight and they came round and said, You’ve recovered quite well from it, you can you can go home and we’ll contact you in about a fortnight to three weeks During this time while I was away the Macmillan nurses who is at the hospital rang me two or three times to see how I was getting on etcetera and just asked a few cursory questions about, you know how the wife was and everything. Fine, everything’s fine And umthen they arranged another appointment for me to go and see them, which I did, with the wife yet again and we went in and they said, We’re terribly sorry Mr [name], we’re going to have to do another little op. This time we’re going to do further up for some more nodules. Those ones which we had were alright, the one that we thought wasn’t cancerous but it wasn’t quite right but what we can do is just check all the nodules now we’re doing it

You mentioned that you had to have two more operations, is that right?

Well I actually finished up having three more. I had the main one where they took the cancer, then I had the lymph nodes at the sides and the groins done and then when they were done they said, Ooh I think we’d better just check the ones in the thin so I went back in again, that was only, I was only in for three days with that one. That was the only problem with that was I had a drain, and most people it lasts three or four days at the most, and for fourteen days I still had it in there, but that was just one of those things. And then the last one was because I had all the bladder problem because of the, what they’d, what he’d done – poked about in there and while he said, I’ll have you in and I’ll do that for yo and he did that and which basically wasn’t connected to cancer but he just did that. As I said he came up a couple of mornings later when I come round he said, Hello Mr [name he said while I was poking about in there I had a look at your prostat he said I bored that ou he said you’ll be peeing like a twenty three year old from now o and touch wood and whistle I have been so, it’s all been brilliant [Chuckles]. And basically everything in some ways I’m better now than I was before I found I had cancer because I was getting up a couple of times during the night to wee in those days, nowadays I don’t get up during the night [Chuckles] soso I’ve got a benefit [Chuckles].

Well it was a bit strange to start with because the first doctor I saw other than my doctor at the hospital was a male then his superior was a female and her superior was a female The first one, I wouldn’t say I felt uncomfortable, I would just say I wasn’t comfortable. Second one I couldn’t really, you know, worry about it and by the time I’d got to see the top person in the hospital in [city] where I had the operation, it didn’t worry me in the least because you’re the only person when I say worried about it, or think, and to put it crudely they’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of men in all shapes and sizes well before your good self and I made the joke when I was in hospital after I had the second op that I said even the cleaning ladies have seen all my bits, I don’t really care anymore now! [Laughs]. And you don’t you know it’s, you know, we’re all human, we’ve all got them, you know, it’s not something that you, you, I worry about. Funnily enough it did prior to that if you’d have asked me three or four months before I found out I had cancer I probably would have told you a completely different story, but you know, the actual fact of having it makes what anybody can do more important than people looking at you if you know what I mean.