Stewart – Interview 39
Stewart was diagnosed with depression in 2010 after not being ‘himself’ for a couple of years. He attributes this to the accumulated effects of the loss of a number of close family members over the years and an unsettled (though loving) childhood. A supportive and insightful GP, medication and cognitive behavioural therapy have helped his recovery.
Stewart’s childhood was defined by his parents; marriage breakdown and his stepfather’s sudden and early death, the first of a series of losses which he didn’t grieve for at the time and which contributed to later problems with separation anxiety and depression. Stewart’s birth was very hard on his mother, and his parents divorced soon after. From then on he had only sporadic contact with his father. When he was seven his mother remarried a kind and gentle man, but he died suddenly two years later. This was a heavy blow to the family, and particularly for Stewart’s mother, who never recovered from this, the divorce, and the strains of raising five children almost single-handedly. On reflection Stewart realises his mother suffered from depression. Financial stress, frequent moves around the state, his sisters growing up and leaving home, and his mother’s descent into alcoholism compounded his sense of isolation – although throughout, he loved his mother and could see she was doing her best.
At 18, Stewart left home and moved to the city. He met his wife in his mid-20s and they married when Stewart was 30, later having two children. His mother died when he was 28, but this was soon after he and his wife became engaged, and he didn’t give himself time to grieve. Nine years later when his father died, Stewart attended the funeral but the eulogy re-ignited his anger and regret over the father-son relationship he;d never had. His most recent loss was of his sister, eighteen months ago. On this occasion, Stewart had to organise the funeral himself, again missing out on the chance to grieve.
The first sign that Stewart’s childhood experiences had left a mark was in 2003 when he suffered from anxiety when he had to spend time away from his wife. A psychologist diagnosed him with separation anxiety and helped him to deal with this. Then in late 2008 he noticed things weren’t quite right. He was stressed and busy with his business, but had been attributing his mood and unhappiness to work and his serious nature. His separation anxiety had returned, and he was grumpy and easily upset;. He spoke to his wife, and they agreed to see a psychologist who referred him to a GP.
Stewart’s first meeting with the GP was life-altering. She was understanding, caring and he was prescribed antidepressants. Stuart described feeling better within a few weeks. This change enabled him to address serious issues affecting the business and his separation anxiety abated. He has also gained insight into thoughts and feelings through therapy with a psychologist.
Stewart was open with family and friends about his experiences and found their reactions understanding and supportive. He also opened up to other franchisees within his business with the intention of raising awareness. He is continuing to take medication. He would encourage anyone experiencing depression to see their GP and be prepared to talk about how they are feeling.