I had lost a lot of weight rather quickly and also my tummy had started to swell up because I’d got fluid in there, but of course I thought it was bowels and I’d had other bowel problems before and I thought it was kind of inflammatory stuff in the bowel. And so that losing weight and, and swelling tummy also, stupidly, didn’t ring any bells with me or make me start to think that I had cancer.

And of course now the thing that really upsets me is that now my daughters, who are in a screening programme for colorectal cancer because I am a risk and their father died of it and their grandmother died of it, and their maternal grandfather died of it, that’s my father, so all my family are already in a colorectal screening, and now the girls need to have ovarian screening which, which they are doing. And again that’s through, through my surgeon and his unit. They’re having to be screened for the ovarian cancer, which is tough on them. I feel rather guilty about doing that to them.

The other thing that made me feel really strong was I used to have acupuncture from an acupuncturist who was very clear that what he was trying to do was strengthen my own immune system to cope with the treatments. And I used to have a go of acupuncture about three days or two days before my treatment and another one 10 days after my treatment.

So for those 6 months I was having acupuncture, and he was very, very remarkable because he used to pick up things which I never told him about. For example, one day I was starting a chest infection and he said I can feel things are not too good in your lung field so I’m going to work on that today. And I’d always been very traditional medicine oriented and not much into alternative, but as a complementary therapy to what I was going through, I was seriously converted to this support while I was having my chemotherapy.

Well I think with the surgery there was no choice really. The one treatment decision that I was faced with, with the surgery, was in case it had affected the bowel, and this was another amazing thing about the team I had, that on the morning that I had the operation, I was first on the list, the bowel surgeon was also available, which is phenomenal, isn’t it? And I, when the surgeon told me that, I said I would not give consent to have a colostomy. I didn’t want that.

I thought if it had gone that far, and I had actually talked this through with a colleague who is at the Marsden and in fact I said What is, how do people die when they have a bowel cancer which they refuse to have a colostomy for?’ And she said, she told me what the implications were and, and I felt very clear in my head that I didn’t want, you know, if it had got to that point. So that was one decision that I made, but I didn’t, I mean it wasn’t necessary in the event.