You mentioned earlier that you were thinking about possibly a prosthesis but it wasn’t offered to you at the time of the operation?

Mm

Did you ever go back and say you would like that or think about it again?

Yes I did, in fact I had it done, yeah. About a year ago I asked the consultant and he said absolutely no problem. So I was fine, I went in and that’s quite a simple operation. They go in through the same scar almost and insert it and they just tack it inside your scrotum so it doesn’t move about. And that was sore for a couple of days, not as bad as the original operation and it’s been fine ever since and I’ve been complimented on it (laughs). I hasten to add by medical professionals (laughs).

Does it feel much different from the other one?

No, not at all no. I mean, I know so it’s , but no it is very, very good. Because theres a lot of negative stuff on the Internet I came across about anti prosthesis that said it can cause all sorts of nasty reactions and you could reject it, it can move about, it’s never the same, but I’ve found it excellent, yeah.

How long ago was that ?

It’s about 12 months yeah. I believe now it’s being offered at the point of the original operation as a matter of course so things change, things move on.

Can you explain, I know it’s quite difficult perhaps to put into words, can you explain why you felt it was important to have a prosthesis?

I suppose it’s , it completes the circle doesn’t it, it sort of makes you whole again, perhaps. I never wanted it to be an issue, I’m not in a relationship at the moment but if I do go into a relationship I don’t want the fact that I’ve got one testicle to be an issue, you know. That’s something I could broach with you know somebody as you get to know them better but I didn’t want it to be an issue from, you know from the start.

Do you think the whole business of testicular cancer affects men’s sense of masculinity, of being a man?

I think so yes, yes, I think anything that affects men in the, down below in that way can have an effect on their sort of what’s the word, what’s the word, self esteem I suppose, their self image as men is suddenly affected isn’t it. I suppose I relate it very much to a woman losing a breast you know she may feel that shes lost her femininity and that’s widely understood. It’s the same for men.

And of course later on when we wanted another holiday it’s very difficult to get insurance. People don’t want to insure you for some reason if you’ve had testicular cancer or any other kind of cancer or anything that’s you know. Which I never realised, if you’ve been in hospital, you’ve been, if you’ve had surgery they’re very loath to insure you or they’ll try and charge you a fortune. Having said that if you dig long enough you’ll find somebody who will insure you for next to nothing.

So it’s worth looking?

It’s worth looking yeah don’t be put off by that.

Oh that’s good.

I was quoted over 1,000 to insure me to fly to Greece and back, where I eventually got it for about 28.

That’s good so it’s worth looking carefully.

Yes.

And you’d done some searching in the Internet you said, what did you find on the Internet?

I found some very good American sites, medical sites and they’re sort of interactive so you can mail people on a, like is it a chat pool do they call it or something like that?

A chat room.

It’s a message board or whatever and people can respond to your questions and you know who’ve had similar experiences etc, which again was very good.

Have you used that, have you sent messages to other people?

Yes I have, yes, yes. But information-wise I found there was very little in Great Britain. I also found that some of the terminology, the American terminology wasn’t quite what we use over here, so it was difficult. So I did find out a lot about testicular cancer, the various types, the sort of age groups it affects and I suppose I wanted information, I wasn’t getting information from the hospital or the doctors, I found it out for myself really.

Was there any choice of treatment after that, did you have to have more treatment or did you have a choice of what you might do?

I was told theres 3 paths they could take; to have chemotherapy, radiotherapy or none and it would be decided for me which way they would go.

You couldn’t help to make that decision?

No, not as I, no, no, no. There were trials apparently of various things at the time but I wasn’t offered an option. I was told I’d have 17 sessions of radiotherapy over a month.

Did you ask how they made that decision or why they made that decision?

No I trusted them to make the right decision (laughs). The most worrying thing, I was most worried about them saying, “You won’t have any treatment at all,”

You wanted to have some treatment?

I felt some treatment, yes that’s right.

Can you explain why you felt that?

There was something said about this course where you don’t have any treatment at all, to see how the body naturally recovers or whatever, and I found that quite worrying because I thought you know everybody said to me this is a matter of timing, you know get diagnosed early, you need to get into hospital quickly, you know and all the rest of it. And now we need to, I had to cancel the family holiday because you know I needed to get on with this radiotherapy and all this sort of thing, it was all about time and speed, “So we can catch anything if theres anything there.” So the thought of, without them knowing anything, any more about me or the state I was in, to say were going to try giving you no treatment, was quite worrying, because if there was something there then it would give it time to spread, that was my reasoning.

But as I say, when I got to the point when I couldn’t ignore it any more I went to my GP. And he didn’t seem to think that there was anything wrong particularly, but he said hed send me to the local hospital to have it checked out. And it was about six weeks later when I went down there. I saw a young guy, I’m not well up on terminology of different types of doctors but he seemed to be a student or a new doctor, very inexperienced and when he examined me he fled the room, didn’t say a word, just looked quite shocked and fled the room. He returned then with a more senior colleague, more experienced man I presume who, they mumbled to each other, still leaving me in the dark of course and I was told that I’d be coming back in for… what’s the term?

For ultrasound?

Ultrasound yes ultrasound.

Right well I went down that afternoon, I spent the day in bed there and people came and saw me and they were very jolly and asked me, got me some details and I remember one guy, a consultant I believe, or a registrar are they called when they’re on the ward, I’m not sure, but he went through his list of things he should be asking me and he mentioned fertility and said “Oh you’ve got 2 children haven’t you,” he said “so that won’t be a problem to you,” then passed on. And it was only later I realised that you know there is a point to that because you can bank sperm. I never realised but it wasn’t offered to me, probably because I was mid 40s and had 2 children already, which I think is a bit naughty but there you go.

So this went on for 18 months before you actually went, did anything about it?

To be honest I would say 18 months yeah, yeah, yeah. I eventually decided to go and see my GP and

Why did you delay for so long?

Well I’ve thought long and hard about that and I wondered if the, deep down I knew there was a problem but I didn’t like to face the fact, may be, may be. But it wasn’t painful, it wasn’t uncomfortable for a long time and I think men in general perhaps don’t want to know.

Why do you think men in particular?

I’m not sure, I’m not sure. I don’t think they like to make a fuss perhaps or be seen to be weak, caring about their bodies perhaps is, I don’t know traditionally perhaps is seen as a sign of weakness in men, I don’t know, I don’t know. But as I say when it got to the point where I couldn’t ignore it any more I went to my GP. And he didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong particularly but he said hed send me to the local hospital to have it checked out. And it was about 6 weeks later when I went down there.